Do you have friends who are "sometimes inseparable, sometimes hurtful"?
If so, be wary!!!
The 9-year-old girl Xiaoxiao is a third-grader with top academic performance and a well-behaved personality.
Recently, Xiaoxiao came home from school often sullen, my mother asked, she was not willing to say more, but she would occasionally spit on her good friend D is very annoying, it seems that the annoyance of laughter is caused by this D girl.
XiaoXiao Mom observed for several days, only to gradually learn the truth of the matter, it turned out that Classmate D is her good friend, but also the class leader, usually they have a good relationship, in the eyes of teachers and classmates, they are absolutely dead party level, where to go are holding hands.
What annoys the laughing students is that the D students have a characteristic, when they are happy, they sell cute, have a good temper, and have a good laugh.
But once she was unhappy, the smile and smile completely changed, such as laughing and laughing if the test score was better than her, she began to be jealous and ignored the smile.
Even so, D students also like to take advantage of the privilege of the class leader, so that other students do not play with laughter.
XiaoXiao is very afraid of being isolated by her classmates, so she will be particularly distressed every time.
Because of this, the relationship between Laughter and Classmate D gradually becomes subtle, on the one hand, Laughter is difficult to accept the emotional characteristics of Classmate D' good and bad;
On the other hand, in view of the pressure of social interaction, Xiaoxiao can't be friends with D at all, but this often makes her feel very screwed.
After Xiaoxiao's mother learned about the incident, she decisively told her daughter that such a friend could not be wanted.
But children are children after all, and it is difficult to be as bold as adults...
Until xiaoxiao mom and the class teacher chatted, the teacher changed the seat, the two children were not together, the contact became less, and gradually, the relationship became lighter...
And Xiaoxiao's understanding of friendship in his heart gradually became clear under the constant persuasion of his mother.
Tell your daughter: Stay away from yo-yo girls
There is no child who does not want to be liked by their peers, but in the relatively stable environment of school, in fact, each child cannot choose his own friends, they are faced with the same group of people every day, and the same people are playing regularly.
For children whose minds are not mature enough, they are often not rational enough when choosing friends.
Like smiling friend D classmate is actually a typical "yo-yo girl", in fact, such friends will have an impact on the physical and mental development of laughter.
What is a "Yo-Yo Girl"?
Refers to the type of girl who is sometimes extremely enthusiastic and sometimes ruthless and mean when interacting with her peers, and their emotions are always capricious, making the friends around them insecure.
Obviously, a girl with this characteristic does not sincerely love her friends, and if your daughter meets such a friend, tell her to stay away from such a person.
The annoyance of making friends or invisible bullying
Unlike boys, girls have sensitive personalities and delicate feelings, and are easily troubled by dating problems after going to primary school.
However, for many parents and friends, they are often more concerned about their children's academic performance, and they often do not attach great importance to their children's confusion and troubles in interpersonal communication.
They always think that their children are still young, and even if there is a conflict, they often have the idea of "what big problems can be between children".
As everyone knows, children's problems in making friends can be light or serious, and when they are serious, they can be included in the category of school bullying.
The behavior of gangs and isolating classmates like Classmate D is already a typical relationship bullying, and this kind of bullying is easily ignored by teachers and parents.
Because it is invisible and untouchable, there is no visible physical conflict between the children, but for the isolated child, her psychology has been greatly impacted, and if it cannot be adjusted in time, it may seriously affect the child's mental health.
How to help my daughter improve her ability to make friends?
When a daughter wants to talk about her dating troubles, as a parent, you should respond to your daughter's needs at the first time, patiently understand the situation, empathize in time, fully understand your daughter's feelings, and give reasonable suggestions.
In the book Best Friend, Worst Enemy, psychologist Michael S. Thompson lists 7 tips that can improve your dating skills:
Be positive about friendship;
Establish the concept of sharing and cultivate a sense of rules;
Take into account the feelings of others;
Control of excessive behavior;
Sincerely apologize;
Be sensitive to other people's emotional changes;
Trust others carefully.
To fully understand and use these skills, there is a long process for children, when the daughter has a dating problem, parents can correspond to specific events, and from these 7 skills to help children make suggestions and find where children should improve.
We can't force our children to become socialites, because some children naturally like to be alone, and some like to be lively.
But sometimes, people's lives are inseparable from friendship, friendship is very important, but also very complicated, although the child's learning of the way of making friends will run throughout life, but the stage of 5-10 years old is the most critical period for children to learn this way.
For many adults, they are still learning.
True friends will support us through difficult days and will make us happier in happy times.