Mom, you worked so hard because you didn't get into a good university, so you wanted me to get in, right?
Due to the deep-rooted influence of Traditional Chinese culture, so to this day, some of the ancient "bad habits" have also been handed down to this day, such as "Looking at The Son jackie chan, hoping that the daughter will become a phoenix", "You see the father did not study well at that time, and now he is doing such a tiring job", "The son inherits the father's business" and so on, too much, it can be said that the examples cannot be finished, but for these concepts we can not one-sidedly say that it is absolutely bad, nor can we all say that he is not good, there must be a good side, there is also a bad side, there is also a bad side, What parents should do is take its essence and remove its dross.
This year, I heard the most heartfelt sentence: "Mom, you want me to get into a good university because you didn't get into a good university at that time, right?" So work so hard, right? So was Dad. "It can't be said that it is a heart, anyway, it is inexplicably revealed a little sadness."
In China, there are many such families, parents have any regrets when they are young, they hope that they can write down the next generation to replace themselves to complete, but the premise of this expectation for the next generation is that they respect the child's wishes and the child also likes it, and it cannot be a compulsive expectation.
Like what the child said to mom and dad, it's because you didn't get into a good college at the time, so now you want me to get into a good college? Parents replied, "Yes, Mom and Dad are admitted to a key university, but it is not a 211, 985 university, or it is not the most powerful and powerful university." We are working hard now, also because we don't have many opportunities to choose from and not much choice. "But at this time, the psychological activity of parents must be, I replied that it is because I want to let the child feel that he is studying hard now and will be admitted to a good university in the future, so that he will have one more choice when choosing a career in the future, rather than imposing his regrets at that time on the child, hoping that the child will be admitted to a good university in the future, which is to motivate the child, not to play a counterproductive effect."
And the mother also said that she and her children usually say the most is "we hope you can get into a good university." If you get into a good university, you will choose more opportunities and will not be as hard as some types of work. ”
And they wonder if the child would think the other way around: "Dad is often still working overtime at 10 o'clock, and he is in meetings on weekends; mom sometimes works until 2, 3, or 4 a.m. after we go to bed." Mom and Dad are working so hard now, is it because they didn't get into a good university at that time? ”
For children, logical thinking is relatively simple, they will feel that if they are admitted to a good university in the future, then the future work will not be as hard as mom and dad", should be able to launch "hard work, because there is no good university". There is nothing wrong with looking at this logic, but we must know that the premise of this equation is that the original proposition is true, and then the original proposition is true.
Going to a good university, but the probability of finding a good job in the future will be higher, not that the future work will not be so hard, so if the original proposition is a false proposition, it is not true. Naturally, its inverse proposition does not hold.
It is possible that this mother and father are also admitted to a better university, but the work is still very hard, but for those who are admitted to a good university, the future work will not be hard, this is just a probability event, and I hope that everyone can see this proposition correctly.
German educator Desdor said: "We should consider the differences in children's nature and promote unique development." We cannot and should not make everyone exactly the same person and give them exactly the same things. ”
Each child's ability to accept new things is different, we should teach according to the aptitude, look at the child with more appreciative eyes, rather than using critical education to encourage children, we should advocate encouraging education rather than critical education, because too much criticism may have an impact on the child's psychology, the child will deny himself, why do I do what parents feel is not right, not good, I am not born a stupid child, which is not good for the child's body and mind. No one is perfect, but since we have assumed the responsibility of being a parent, we should do a good job in this matter, that is, contribute our own strength in our position.
Can't feel that you just gave birth to a child, parenting is also very important, and raising children, in fact, and work is the same, we are from ignorance to proficiency, are adding color to their own lives, I believe that everyone hopes that their life on this notebook is brilliant!
I believe that many people know Cai Kangyong, although he is a bit fake when he speaks, but for his words, I still remember it vividly, he said, "What is the most precious thing for parents to their children?" It is to give him an ideal environment to be himself, not to be what we want him to be, which is our best reward for him to come to this society. ”
Therefore, as parents, we can give the best and most precious to our children is the growth environment, so that children can really do what they want to do, become people, rather than hoping to become successful, excellent people who have, this is not only for themselves, but also for the best return to society.
From the moment we give birth to a child, the child is already an independent individual, they have the right to decide what career they want to engage in in the future, and we as parents can only give the child some of their own opinions on the way forward, but we cannot influence them, especially some of our own ideas imposed on them, but we can put forward our own correct opinions when their ideas are wrong.
Although the education in our country is not taught according to aptitude, but the minimum fairness still exists, as long as we study hard, it is very likely to change our fate through reading, but if you are born in such a peaceful and comfortable era, you only want to "lie flat" ("lying flat, Internet buzzword. It means that no matter what the other party reacts, there is no wave in your heart, and there will be no reaction or resistance to this, indicating obedience. In addition, in some contexts, it is expressed as: collapsing on the ground, no longer boiling chicken blood, longing for success. If you don't want to work hard, then you don't blame society for being unfair to you, society is fair to everyone, but if you want to do it once and for all, if you don't want to give it back, you can only wait for the pie to fall from the sky.
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