Gu Huijing, a 17-year-old girl, recently appeared on the education program of the People's Network.
Because she won the first prize in the school's student professional skills competition.
Moreover, her award-winning project is very special, which is the electromechanical maintenance of automobiles.
When it comes to automotive mechanical and electrical maintenance, everyone's first impression may be that boys are better at it.
And Gu Huijing broke everyone's stereotype, and she became the first girl to participate in such an event and win the first place.
Gu Huijing's ability to choose a development direction that few girls choose and perform well is inseparable from the support of her parents.
In the interview, Gu Huijing said that her parents would ask her what kind of person she wanted to be and support her efforts in her own direction.
If her parents, when they heard that their daughter was interested in auto repair, restricted their daughter's choices because of gender bias. Say that there are girls who do auto repair, this is not suitable for girls.
Then, she may also be forced to embark on a path that is so-called very suitable for girls, such as kindergarten teachers, nurses, etc.
Gu Huijing's experience also gave her parents a revelation.
As parents, we don't limit our children because of gender bias. Providing children with a rich experience from an early age can help children better develop their nature and find a suitable development path.
01
The differences in behavior between men and women are mainly caused by society
My cousin has been a little annoyed lately and thinks that the car toys bought for the children are bought for free.
Because it was born a girl. I asked him, can't girls play with cars?
My cousin replied, don't you girls like to play with dolls?
Similar gender biases abound.
Boys prefer blue and girls prefer pink.
Boys like to play with ball, girls like to live at home.
Boys are more active and girls are quieter.
Boys are suitable for science and engineering, girls are suitable for liberal arts.
Boys are suitable for engineering, girls are suitable for nurses.
Are these differences in gender behavior inherent brain differences caused by sex, or are acquired changes caused by social stereotypes?
Lise Eliot, a professor of neuroscience at Rosalyn Franklin University, concluded through the data that there are far fewer differences in the brains of men and women born with children than between men and women.
Nurturing and conceptual guidance have a greater impact on the behavior of men and women.
The view of what boys and girls should be is invisibly engraved in everyone's heart.
When I was pregnant, I added a group of pregnant mothers, and many mothers struggled to buy blue or pink clothes for their children. Because I don't know if it's a boy or a girl.
I heard that my family gave birth to girls, relatives and friends sent pink clothes, plush dolls and the like. And my friend gave birth to a boy, and when others buy toys for their children, they always buy cars, Transformers.
My daughter is more active, moving every minute except for sleeping.
My mom used to say that she, you can't be honest for a while, not girlish at all.
What is a girl?? Quiet, introverted, long hair, like plush toys, like dancing?
Not because children are born with such preferences, but because of the nurturing and guidance of acquired parents, so that children step by step to the girl and boy.
Netizens @piggy egg's comments were to the point.
As a result of the stereotype cultivation of adults, adults play with robot trucks for baby boys and dolls for baby girls in infancy. Then at the age of three or five, say look, sure enough, boys like cars, girls like clothes.
I know that the last mother said that she took her son to buy clothes and let the children choose themselves. The son took the blue one and said the boy should wear blue.
The mother thought carefully that the child was not chosen because she liked blue, but in accordance with the inherent impression of society on boys.
What are the child's true preferences? After a long time, I can't find my own preferences.
Gender bias will not only lead to children's repressive nature, but also affect the development of children's interests and future career choices.
In "Our Inner Conflict", it is said that the essence of all despair is the despair of not being able to be ourselves.
Singer Zhou Shen, because of his female voice, was ridiculed by his classmates as "not male and female" and "feminine". When I was in junior high school, I hardly sang in front of my classmates, for fear of attracting more ridicule.
After the college entrance examination, I went to Ukraine to study, but I was not interested in medical majors. I followed the view of gender bias and chose the direction of my studies.
If Zhou Shen did not face up to his love for music in the end, he entered the Conservatory of Music instead, but continued to study in medical school.
Then not only have we lost Zhou Shen's charming singing voice, but he himself may also be struggling with medical aspects that he is not interested in, and the path of life will be very different.
What we as parents can do as children as children find themselves as parents is to respect their children's preferences, interests, and behaviors, reduce interference, and give freedom.
Recognize that every child is unique. There is no need to slip into a boy's or girl's mold.
02
Parents need to help their children face gender bias
Although gender bias has been broken down in recent years, it must be admitted that there are still many gender biases.
Even if parents raise their children without gender bias, children entering school and getting along with other people are inevitably affected by gender bias.
At this time, parents need to help their children understand and deal with gender bias in society. At the same time, it maintains the independence and freedom of the child's heart.
Cecilia, the previous mother, found a way to balance gender bias and children's inner nature when her 5-year-old son wanted to wear a skirt to go out.
C's son, after watching Frozen 2, liked Elsa's bravery and strength very much, and wanted to wear Elsa as a blue dress.
This is a normal situation, children like a character, so they will imitate the character's language, movements, costumes, etc.
Embarrassingly, however, girls wear skirts in gender stereotypes. Boys wear skirts and go out, most likely they will be looked at and ridiculed.
And many parents themselves laugh at their children first: boys who wear skirts are not ashamed.
C didn't. She first affirmed to her son that if she wanted to wear a skirt, of course she could.
At the same time, she also realized that letting her son wear a skirt to kindergarten like this would face all kinds of evaluations, arguments and even ridicule. This can have an unpredictable negative impact on the son's psyche.
So she took a compromise approach, first letting her son wear a skirt and walking around the neighborhood.
As soon as the little boy in the skirt came downstairs, he attracted the attention of the uncle and aunt. And the aunt commented that your girl is really good-looking.
The little boy himself was excited in his skirt, and when he heard others say this, he held his head high and gradually lowered his head. The mood didn't get very good.
"Can boys wear skirts?" In the face of her son's questions, her mother told him about the history of Scottish men wearing skirts and ancient Chinese men wearing skirts.
And tell the child that the world is different, and now most people will think that girls only wear skirts, and it is girls who wear skirts.
"Why can't boys wear skirts?" Thinking of the experience of being commented on and ridiculed when wearing a skirt today, the child himself came to the conclusion that because boys wore skirts, they would be ridiculed, so they would not wear them.
To help children face gender bias, they need to be honest and honest about the current prejudices. But more importantly, help your child achieve their wishes in a way that suits them.
C bought fabric from the Internet and created a male version of the princess Elsa dress with his son, which resembled the robe worn by ancient men.
He also brought a picture book telling ancient stories to the child, and if he wore a robe to kindergarten and met someone who said he was wearing a skirt, he could prove that he was wearing a robe.
After such preparations, the child went to the kindergarten wearing a robe, and the kindergarten students were all impressed and said that they would also wear a robe.
Later, C's son himself chose not to wear a robe. But after this experience, the little boy must have learned how to face gender prejudices, survive in prejudices, and do what he wants to do at the same time.
Maintaining inner independence and freedom of nature, not being harmed by gender bias, this is the protection that parents need to provide to their children.
03
When the child is old enough to face the prejudices of others on their own, no matter how they choose, the parents just need to support them.
Yi Nengjing's 19-year-old son, Harry, posted photos of himself wearing women's clothes and wigs on the Internet. Negative reviews are also many.
But Harry was already able to deal with negative comments: I was very emotional in what I was wearing, clothes were just clothes, and a piece of clothing should not be interpreted more than the person itself.
Yi Nengjing gave her son full support: as a mother, she would only give him advice and would not give him too much guidance, that was his freedom.
The most powerful force that parents can give their children is support.
Yi Nengjing not only has a profound insight into the relationship between the sexes, but also grasps the true meaning of raising children as a mother.
Respect the nature of the child, do not limit it because of gender; provide protection when the child is young, reduce the harm of gender bias to the child; and when the child grows up, open his mind and fully support.
Do this well, and wait for the flower of your child's nature to bloom.
(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)