There is a middle school text called "Antelope Wood Carving", I believe everyone is familiar with it:
The little boy gave his father a gift to him, "Antelope Wood Carving", to his best friend Wan Fang, and was accidentally discovered by his mother.
When I heard that my son had used a precious antelope wood carving and only exchanged it for a worn-out knife, both mom and dad said, "So how can you give away something precious?" Must come back"!
Although the little boy was very reluctant, he was forced by his parents to find his good friend Wan Fang and exchanged the antelope wood carving with a knife.
When his good friend Wan Fang caught up with him and sympathetically shoved the knife back into the boy's hand, the little boy was very sad because he felt that he had "done something disgraceful."
Although the text was written decades ago, a similar scene still plays out in many modern families, where children bring toys to school in the morning, sometimes inexplicably disappear, and sometimes they are replaced by another one.
For example, some children take a toy car to kindergarten in the morning, and when they return home, it becomes a mess of watercolor pens, when parents can't help but interfere with their children and tell their children the truth of "equal exchange", the children are immersed in the joy of barter, fantasizing about whether to take other toys to continue to exchange "good things" in the hands of other children.
In the eyes of parents, children with new toys for old toys inevitably suffer some losses, but for children, the logic behind it is completely different, we parents must be clear.
Children like to "barter", is to reach the "interpersonal sensitive period"
Man is a social animal, when children appear to "barter" behavior, in fact, this is the beginning of their "interpersonal communication", but also to the "interpersonal sensitive period" signs.
At this time, children are keen to use toys, snacks and all other items that are valuable in their eyes to barter with others, and through such an exchange of benefits, complete the most basic interpersonal communication and find "good friends".
In the eyes of parents, the children's exchange of items may be a huge gap, so they are worried that the children will be "deceived" and become the "wronged head" in the eyes of their classmates, but for the children in this period, when exchanging things and things, they will not pay too much attention to the value behind them, but just enjoy the joy brought by the exchange of items and experience the freshness of "new toys".
If parents do not know, use the values of adults to judge the value orientation of children, and even label children as "heartless" and "stupid", it will only bring psychological pressure to children, so that they are inferior in the interaction of peers, but it is not conducive to children's interpersonal communication.
So what if the child is keen on bartering, and the value of the items exchanged is very different from the original items?
The key to avoiding the loss caused by the child's "barter" lies with the parents
From the child's point of view, in fact, as long as the number of exchanges of items is increasing, it will naturally accumulate experience, and a "scale" will appear in the heart to judge whether the exchange is worth it or not.
And we want to avoid too much loss when the child "barters", we can start from two directions:
First of all, we must make psychological assumptions for children in advance.
If it is a more precious item, you can clearly tell the child that there is only the "right to use", and there is no "right to dispose", so that the child understands that he can play by himself, but the ownership of the item is the owner of the whole family, he has no right to exchange with the child, even if he wants to exchange, he must seek the consent of his parents and parents.
Secondly, it is the responsibility of parents to determine the value of items, and when children really have problems with barter, they should also be interfered with and dealt with by us.
Before the Internet there is a treasure mother treatment method is very instructive, the child used a dilapidated small iron car for a large piece of Lego of the classmate, took home to tear it apart, and when the mother found out, Lego can no longer easily recover.
However, the mother did not blame the child, but consulted the price of this Lego on social media, and then contacted the parents of the other party through the teacher and compensated 3500 yuan.
After the other parent received the compensation, he let the child take a Lego as a gift to return, and under the reasonable disposition of the two parents, the relationship between the two children was not only not affected, but went further and became a closer friend.
Therefore, when children often "barter" with classmates, we don't have to worry too much, pay attention to giving children positive guidance, children naturally know how to judge whether the transaction is fair over time, and in case of "accidents" in the exchange, as long as we handle it properly, it is a good thing.
Crooked Mom Conclusion:
Children like to barter, which is a sign of reaching the "sensitive period of interpersonal relationships".
When we feel unworthy for our children's exchange, we should try to recall our own childhood, have we ever had a similar experience? Through such empathetic thinking, you may be able to better understand the feelings in your child's heart.
Today's topic: Does your child like barter?
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