Behind every child who creates miracles is the hard work of parents.
Before the child becomes "someone else's child", may we first become "other people's parents".
Author | Maple
What would you do if your child's grades fell all the way down to the trough and even became addicted to online games?
He is currently studying for a doctorate in psychology at Peking University, and has also been a guest on CCTV's "First Lesson of School" and "Every Day Upwards" @Peking University Yige, sharing his experience online.
He said that my father did these 3 things during the lowest period of my junior high school, which not only freed me from Internet addiction, but also helped me successfully counterattack and was admitted to Peking University:
1. Strict self-discipline and self-discipline of children
The family cut off the Internet and the TV, and while strictly restricting him from playing games, his father himself gave up his mobile phone and TV.
In addition, every day he wrote homework in the house, and his father read books outside the house, creating a good learning atmosphere for him.
2. Accompany the reading from the third year of junior high school to the third year of high school
Not only be a logistics captain, accompany him with your heart, help him channel pressure, regulate bad emotions, and let him learn in a better state;
He also serves as his strong backing, helping him to face and solve various problems in life and learning together.
3. Be a learning parent
As soon as the father has time, he learns about education, such as how to educate the child, how to help the child learn, and take careful notes, and share what he has learned with him before going to bed;
Usually, I also lower my posture, treat him as a friend, communicate with him as an equal, and never blindly preach to him.
It is no exaggeration to say that his father has worked hard for his studies.
Some netizens can't help but sigh: It turns out that the gap between me and Xueba is such a hardcore dad!
There is a good saying:
"On the life answer sheet handed over by the child, there is also a copy of the parent's achievements."
There are no outstanding children in this world, only well-intentioned parents.
I have to say that behind each bully, there is often a pair of sharp parents.
Children's education
Parents are the first responsible
A friend who was a middle school teacher at the time said such a thing.
A parent in the class asked her for help:
Son Ziyang grew up in a famous school, the extracurricular class is a famous teacher, I usually work hard to earn money, all to pay him tuition, how can his grades not rise but fall?
A friend asked the parent a word:
"So what did you teach your children?"
But the parents said:
"Where do we know about education?
Isn't sending children to school to be educated?
And how long does a child stay at home in a day? ”
In fact, after the parents' meeting last semester, my friend told this parent that Ziyang is a smart and clever child, but his learning habits are not good, he is careless, he loves desertion, and he scribbles scribbles, which also require parents to pay more attention to education.
But the parents not only could not listen, but also said two words and pushed the responsibility to the teacher.
However, the fact is that the teacher's ability is limited, and he faces many students and cannot give more attention to each student.
Children's learning habits, learning interests, small emotions in academics, plans and prospects for learning, etc., all need parental participation and guidance.
On the road of education, parents are the first responsible person for their children.
Educator Sukhomlinsky pointed out that to shape a good child, at least six aspects should be contributed:
Family, school, the group where the child is, the child himself, books, accidental factors.
Among them, the family ranks first.
Parents' educational philosophy, educational methods, and educational methods all deeply affect children.
Especially after the double reduction, families should fill the "gaps" in education in time to supplement the "nutrients" for the growth of children.
There are no children who have become independent talents, only parents who work quietly.
The child's growth is only once, education can not be repeated, how much time and energy you invest, the child will give you back how much joy.
The greatest danger of education is
Indiscipline parents desperately raise children
After watching a video recently, a kindergarten teacher asked the children:
"What does Dad usually like to do?"
The answer is straightforward and heartfelt.
"Play cards, play games, play mahjong, watch beautiful women, watch vibrato, watch mobile phones, watch TV, smoke", these answers accounted for 90%.
Although the fairy tale is unbridled, I can't laugh at all.
Many parents think that their children are still young and do not understand anything, but they do not know that their daily words and deeds are engraved in their minds by their children.
There are also parents who think that they have to get by and live okay, the important thing is that the children study well.
However, such a bad atmosphere gives the message to the child, not how good it is to learn, but how cool it is to enjoy the joy of garbage every day without doing anything.
The greatest danger of education is that parents themselves are not self-disciplined, but desperately demand of their children.
In fact, every child follows the footsteps of their parents to the far side.
The tutoring that is full of ears is what the child will look like in the future.
The U.S. Department of Education also conducted a long-term academic survey of 20,000 children in 1,000 schools.
It was found that the main factors affecting children's performance were in their parents.
Parents' education, experience, socioeconomic status, reading habits, and social interactions are highly correlated with their children's test scores.
Parents themselves are the hotbeds for cultivating academic bullies.
What kind of words and deeds you expose to your child, he will absorb into it.
Therefore, when children do not love to learn, are not enterprising, and are greedy for fun, parents may wish to take back the attention to themselves first.
When you do yourself well, education can work.
Every good child is often not accidental
It's the "result" of the whole family's efforts.
Benjamin, a psychologist in "Deliberate Practice," has studied the childhood of many prominent figures in different fields and industries.
He found that when these eminent people were young, their parents would try to do everything they could to keep trying.
Because they understand that only persistence and hard work are the best way out for children.
Indeed, behind every child who stands out is the efforts of parents.
I think of Chinese He Jiang, the first to speak at harvard's graduation ceremony.
He was born in a small village in Ningxiang, Hunan Province, to parents with low education and a poor family.
At that time, many people in the village left their children in the countryside and went out to earn money, but his parents gave up the idea of going out to work in order to accompany him and his brother to grow up, even if they earned less.
Every day after school, other people's children are running and playing outside, and He Jiangguan is locked up in the house to write homework.
After dinner, many parents play cards and drink for recreation, but his parents will only sit around a small table and read with their children.
Recalling his parents' education of him, He Jiang said:
"Without the company and persistence of my parents, I guess like many friends in my childhood, I didn't study for a few years and went out to work early."
Yes, it is the intention and dedication of his parents that makes him go higher and farther.
As Mo Yan said, the excellence of children is soaked in the sweat of parents.
In a family, the child is the flower, the parent is the root, when you marvel at the brightness of the flower, but do not know that the root is trying to absorb nutrients at the bottom, just to send nutrition to the flower.
Nothing has ever come out, just the "result" of the whole family's affection.
Truly visionary parents
All are particularly "fierce"
University professor Chu Yin once said:
"Before making children happy, parents must learn to be ruthless in order to achieve their children's future."
There are no towering trees growing in the greenhouse, and there are no thousands of troops and horses in the alley.
If you want to cultivate excellent children, parents must be particularly "fierce".
1. Be ruthless in tempering your child
Last year, MIT admitted only 8 students in China, and Ding Wenqi, who ranked first in the list, was also admitted to 8 world famous universities.
The secret behind her excellence is that there is a pair of "tiger mothers and wolf fathers" standing.
When Ding Wenqi was a child, she was playful and hot for three minutes, so her parents often pressed her on the piano bench to practice, and through day after day of persistence, she honed her will.
After elementary school, her parents asked her to complete her homework as soon as she returned home, cultivating her habit of self-discipline.
When she was a little older, her parents urged her to make a schedule and arrange the time for reading, studying, attending interest classes, and resting reasonably, so that she could learn to manage herself.
The most important point is that her parents strictly forbade her to play with her phone and computer.
She said: "I didn't have my own mobile phone before I graduated from junior high school, and now I don't chase dramas and play games. ”
When children do not have the ability to think independently, the cultivation of quality, the cultivation of habits, and the acquisition of abilities require parents to unswervingly manage and supervise.
Don't be afraid of your child's hardships, every drop of sweat he pays today will condense into a brilliant future.
2. Polish yourself and strive to be a role model for your children
I often hear some parents around me lament:
The same way of education, why is the difference between the children who are taught so much?
This is because they are cruel to their children at the same time, but also more cruel to themselves.
The key to family education lies first of all in the self-education of parents.
I think of Chen Yixian, who was evaluated by the professor as "the best student who has been guiding in Qingbei for more than ten years".
Since he was a child, his father disciplined him quite strictly, but his father's strict requirements were not only for him, but also for himself.
"Parents must do what they ask their children to do, otherwise it is unfair and unfair."
In order to help his son focus on learning, his father changed his mobile phone for himself while changing Chen Yixian's elderly mobile phone.
"If you want your child to quit mobile phones and games, you must first stop brushing dramas and brushing vibrato."
In order to enlighten his son's language, when his parents let him watch Chinese and English animations, he also learned English carefully on the side, and then the whole family assigned roles and exchanged dialogues.
In fact, on the way to learning, children have to experience ninety-nine eighty-one difficulties, and parents also have to cultivate seventy-two changes.
If the so-called law is no longer lawful, why is it a law?
Teaching by example is the most powerful education.
When parents cultivate themselves well, their children's education will naturally come to fruition.
3. Reflect with your head down and continue to learn and grow
Education is a process of continuous trial and error, as a parent, only dare to face up to the shortcomings of their own education, and constantly strive to improve themselves, children can take fewer detours.
In terms of knowledge, a netizen posted his mother's immortal education.
When he first went to elementary school, his grades were once at the bottom, and his mother did not fight or scold, but bought herself a lot of education books to improve her cognition.
Mom will give him a big affirmation when he improves;
Dig up his shining points when he's frustrated; help him find deficiencies when he's proud.
When he was in junior high school, he was in a period of rebellion and was very tired of school, and his mother did not accuse and over-discipline, but asked many excellent parents about parenting:
First, we took the initiative to show weakness and improved their relationship, and then we talked about education.
In high school, he often had insomnia, and after his mother knew that his high expectations were putting too much pressure on him, she never asked him about his grades and let him try his best.
Moreover, my mother also applied for a family education instructor for herself and accompanied him to study every day.
In the end, he successfully entered the university, and his mother also got a certificate.
As the saying goes, parenting is a practice that is not only practiced by the child, but also by the parents themselves.
When parents broaden their horizons, they can bring their children a broader future.
When parents keep walking, children can grow up endlessly.
There is a "scissor effect" in pedagogy.
It is said that when children are young, there is only a little difference at most, but through the different parents' different education methods, it eventually leads to a huge gap in children's adulthood.
The different companionship and guidance of parents ultimately creates a very different future for children.
There has never been a miracle that has turned out to be a miracle, and some are just a thousand investments, and all kinds of hard work are willing to come.
The growth of every outstanding child is poured into the painstaking efforts of parents.
Be a beacon for children to move forward!
How hard you work today, how good the child will be in his day.