01
The most impressive thing in the last company.
There is a female colleague who especially likes to complain, both bitter and tired and low salary, and complains to her everyone. When there are colleagues who get together in their spare time to talk about happy things, she is always the one who is disappointed and very unpopular. Until someone put the words on her face:
"Either you quit and don't do it, and if you want to do it, you have no right to complain."
What problems can complain solve? Only create problems, let you see problems, and nothing else. So complaining is useless, it's all up to you.
When you have no ability and no capital, even if the world is unfair to you, don't complain, think more about why the world is unfair to you.
The more you like to complain and vent your emotions in this way, the more unfair the world is to you, as if you have walked into a dead end, an infinite vicious circle.
Because complaining will first destroy your passion and creativity, so that you can not face problems, solve problems, resulting in life more and more chaotic, worse and worse. Secondly, complaining will also ruin your ability to solve problems, your ability to think about problems, and your courage to face problems.
Do you look at those who are motivated and have no problems in their lives? There must be, but they are positive and sunny, little by little to sort out and solve problems, in this virtuous circle, more and more motivated.
If there is a problem, you have to deal with the problem, and in the process of only complaining, all the problems that occur will be deposited one by one, resulting in a more miserable life. Finally one day figured it out, willing to change themselves, maybe it is always good, but those problems that have been deposited, I am afraid it is not so easy to deal with.
02
Backstage received a message from a male reader, because the wife likes to complain too much, and the daily married life is extremely broken, exaggerated to the point of preferring to work overtime in the company rather than return to the heavy family. Always be contaminated by the negative energy of his wife, so that he immediately becomes a depressed person.
Man is an animal that seeks profit and avoids harm, which means that man is forever and ever, and has always been willing to approach only beautiful things and people.
So between people, the picture is a relaxed, happy, comfortable.
Even if it is your own partner, it is the same, otherwise any relationship will gradually drift apart and go to strangeness. Whoever can make themselves easy and happy, they are willing to approach whom.
If your partner makes you feel like a pool of stagnant water, it must be respectful, or even avoided. Then the couple is useless, occasionally make you feel pain, occasionally bring you happiness, this is a normal couple, but if it only makes you feel pain, basically doomed to the outcome of the marriage.
As for what the wife likes to complain about, there are short trivialities in the parents, there are shortcomings and shortcomings in him, and there are also unsatisfactory life.
The wife is sure that she is the unhappiest woman in the world, and she is more certain that the reason for her misfortune is because she chose the wrong partner. Therefore, in the reader's marriage and family life, the wife's complaints, complaints, questions, comparisons, and anger are almost the norm.
Emotions come and go, it's horrible.
In fact, everyone's life has unsatisfactory parts, so it is particularly emphasized that it is more important and practical to cultivate their own resilience than to demand an absolutely happy life.
After all, human life is impossible to be perfect, if married life is realistic, it is heavy, the more resilient you are, the less heavy you feel, the more you have no resilience, the heavier you feel, the heavier you feel, you feel that you are a little breathless.
We especially want a life, but we can't achieve our wishes, which should not be a reason for us to complain, if everyone wants what they can get, the world is messed up.
Not getting is the norm, not getting, life will continue, then you need to adjust your attitude, how to find a balance between unlimited needs and limited gains.
The unsatisfied, the restless, will never be happy and never satisfied, because they can only see the missing parts of themselves, not what they have. In this world, no one really likes to hear you complain, if there is really a problem in life, then why don't you seek change? The whole drags himself into the vortex of resentment, torturing himself and torturing his partner.
03
It occurred to me that there was a reference in "The Weakness of Human Nature":
"Of all the things, the most important thing is to find a happy wife, my dear child."
A happy wife is your source of motivation, the source of passion, making you more creative, on the contrary, an unhappy wife, will only make you feel heavy and stressed, which will lead to the failure of the marriage.
Therefore, the failure of marriage often begins with a love of complaining: committing a big taboo!
The more you like to complain, the easier it is to become dark, distorted and paranoid, until you can no longer find the glorious part of life, and the whole person's life is completely shrouded in shadows.
I would like to ask, what kind of marriage can withstand such devastation? No matter how deep the feelings are, no matter how entangled the interests are, there is also a day when people are forced to become neurotic, and when they wait for that day, they will not think of anything, as long as they can be liberated, no matter how big the price is, they will not hesitate.
The famous writer Sanmao said:
"Occasionally complaining about life may be a kind of emotional catharsis, and it is not necessary, but habitual complaining without seeking change is not a smart person." 」
If you want to have a happy marriage, you must first affirm your choices, then affirm your partner, and finally affirm your life. The destructive power of negative energy on marriage is extremely deadly, like the poisonous juice of a poisonous snake, and it will also erode human life, even if she is beautiful, young, and charming, so what?
Marriage comes to an end, whether it is a tragedy or a comedy, not all determined by fate and luck, we can also do something for our marriage, even if you don't know what you should do, but you must know that you can't do something.
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