Text/Gesang Flowers 79
We are born in this world of babies, and life is destined to be flawed, so there is no perfect life.
For the external material level, it is appropriate to be small and full, and the focus should be placed on the level of improving life, which is the most fundamental meaning of life.
From childhood to adulthood, we have too much negative information in our inner backlog, and they affect our fate in a state of negative energy and bring us all kinds of suffering.
These negative messages mainly come from our parents, because parents are the first people we have come into contact with since we became human beings, the closest people, and the people who have the deepest influence on the formation of our independent personality.
Our feelings for our parents are love-hate, and many people are even full of huge resentment towards their parents.
The essence of marriage is a contradictory community of yin and yang, just like a concave and convex union, which is a very normal natural law phenomenon, so it is necessary to have a holistic view of marriage to face, otherwise why call it the other half? If you want to see marriage as one and not two, there will not be so many problems, because you are one, and each other's problems are your own problems, and what is there to complain about? Isn't that resenting yourself?
There are very few couples in the world who can do this, they are separating themselves from their other half, how can marriage be harmonious and unified? The other half of resentment is resentment of oneself, can you be happy?
Most people grow up in such marriages and families, and they must be deeply affected, so the first thing we have to do is to unblock these negative information.
Our relationship with our parents is projected into our other relationships, and the negative information we have in us determines that we cannot have a very harmonious relationship with our parents. The harmony that is made on the surface is useless.
Complaining about your parents means seeing yourself as a victim, and not being able to fully accept yourself, love yourself, think you are flawed, and blame your parents for this.
And when we have this realization, our fate is like opening a Pandora's box, always attracting negative things that match our negative cognition to our lives.
First of all, we should be considerate of parents, they are also ordinary ordinary people, the first time to experience marriage for the first time to become a parent, for them is also feeling the stones to cross the river, many things they do not know how to be reasonable, so it is understandable to bring a lot of negative effects.
Moreover, human disposition (resentment, anger and annoyance) is a mortal, the most difficult thing to change, let's think about ourselves, can we control it? The reason why people are bound by fate is because they cannot be their masters, so everyone in the world suffers.
Second, we must accept ourselves, accept ourselves no matter how we are, constantly affirm ourselves, and transform the information that we deny ourselves internally. Only when we can accept ourselves can we accept our parents.
If we come out of the negative emotions of our parents, we must not escape, let alone suppress them, as long as we do not perceive it without any prejudices, and as a bystander observe its existence, its changes, and its disappearance, this is the best means to deal with negative emotions, which practitioners call truthful contemplation.
The point of this method is to be aware of "without any prejudices", not to escape and not to repress, to understand why we let these things exist in the mind, because of the result of escaping and repression, so it is better to release them now.
In this way, to perceive its negative emotions again and again, its power will weaken again and again, until one day it can face itself calmly, which is the real reconciliation with itself and the reconciliation with its parents. You will find that all your relationships are shifting for the better and that a new chapter in your life begins.
This is a crucial issue for us to improve the level of life, and it is also the fundamental reason why the ancients called "filial piety first".