How good can grandma be with a baby?

Have you ever had a conflict with your elders about bringing a baby? And what is the mental journey?

Let's listen to the story of Bao Mama from Lilac Mother Planet @Valen Baby's running companion.

I am not afraid of everyone's jokes, nor do I want to "show my mother's love", in fact, since I got married, I feel that my mother-in-law and my mother are as good to get along with, respect me, and spoil me. Two years ago, the two of them were upgraded to become grandmothers, Valen called one of them Grandma Juanjuan, the other called Grandma Xiaohua, and the two grandmas actually had amazing consistency in helping us with our babies - of course, they were consistently excellent. Fast forward two years, and I'm trying to recall some small details of my life to sum up the strengths they both share.

Respectfully get along

Respect is the beginning of love

The first is to respect me and Valen's father, who agree with us in terms of our requests, opinions and suggestions, and are able to accept and agree with us very happily.

We expressed our high praise and sincere thanks and received the following response.

Grandma Juanjuan: "You know more, no more than before, of course we have to listen to you."

Grandma Xiaohua: "Seeing that the baby is growing up so well, I know that it is right to listen to you."

The second is to respect Valen, even what to eat at this meal, will have to ask her and take her advice.

"She has a dominant opinion now, we can't force ourselves, we have to ask her everything." 」

Not disturbing, is the last tenderness

My father and I told my grandmothers that when Valen reads, plays with toys, or draws, try not to disturb her as much as possible, do not change what she is doing, otherwise it will affect her concentration; when she eats, do not instruct her what to eat now, and then what to eat, let her choose herself, and give help when needed, otherwise it will discourage her from eating independently.

They all agreed and tried to do it. Although I occasionally forget, I will suddenly realize it halfway through the interruption, or after "fouling", I will say, "Oh, I'm sorry, Grandma forgot." To apologize. But it's great, and at least it makes Valen realize that she should focus on what she's doing, and that being interrupted will be rewarded with an apology.

When Valen made a mistake and Valen's father and I were educating her, the two grandmothers chose again in a similar scene not to squeak, pretend that nothing had happened, and continue to do what they were doing. This gives us a lot of room for parenting, making us feel at ease, grateful, and paying more attention to our parenting style and attitude.

Learning type with baby

Requiring learning is a mark of progress

Grandma Juanjuan bought books on how to take care of children when Valen was not yet born, which made me feel admired, and she often said, "If there is anything, you must tell me to teach me, some of which I don't know very well."

Little Flower Grandma play to her strengths, learn to make a variety of unsweetened and unsalted exquisite complementary foods, snacks, but also improve, rich and healthy collocation, shape often make me sigh, all I can do is to make recipes, take the baby to "eat and eat".

Not mentioning the old concept is a benchmark for the next generation

Whenever I communicate with others, others often say that their grandmothers say, "Didn't we bring this before?" I found that my two grandmothers, who had hardly said anything like this, once again made the same choice on the basis of understanding when there was a conflict between old and new ideas— that is, to keep pace with the times and not to mention old ideas.

This made Valen's dad and I a lot less of a communication hassle. Because Mom and Dad and Grandparents' goals are the same after all – for Valen to grow up healthy and safe.

And they know that the burden of parenting is ultimately on the parents, and they are willing to unload more burdens to cooperate and help us, rather than replace us.

This is really the most gentle next-generation relative!

Frank communication

Knowing everything is the convergence of trust

Both grandmothers would tell us anything, even if it was something we didn't think was very good.

For example, once, after Valen fell asleep, Grandma pulled up the mosquito net, went downstairs to do some housework, and left Valen alone in the upstairs bedroom. When we got off work, she told us, and then we reminded her that it was too dangerous, and told her a few cases of bad consequences, telling her that it was likely to cause Valen's physical and mental injury, and Grandma asked, "What if it takes ten minutes?" We said, "Not for a minute, in case something happens, the child can't hear the movement downstairs, it's too dangerous." So Grandma said, "There's definitely no next time, you're good to go."

Of course, we don't "check" the follow-up, because Grandma tells us that we trust us, and we trust her even when we point.

Only the integration of trust from generation to generation can make Valen have a safe and happy environment to grow up.

Tireless, is the relay of home and everything

In our family, the same type of thing is reminded of the grandmother more than twice, and they don't express boredom, and sometimes they say, "Oh, grandma forgot." "Next time, be sure to pay attention." It was a lovely way to apologize to Valen. Facing such a grandmother, the original anxiety immediately dissipated.

In fact, our parents are no longer young, and their memory and reaction are not as good as our young people, so we need to use an inclusive and patient attitude to get along with them, to run into every bit of the baby with them. The patience they showed to us is the fine tradition and family style that we should give back and inherit, which is the inheritance of love, which is the relay of home and everything.

Seeing this, everyone must have doubts, has my family not had arguments and objections? Of course, there have been, but even if we and our grandparents have occasional discord, we will never have a gap, we are all so old, do not we still have the ability to solve small family problems? Compared to happiness, these are not worth mentioning!

Of course, this text is only a few small fragments, in life, there are more warm bits and pieces, which cannot be recorded in words, photos cannot be frozen, there are too many gratitude and gratitude that language cannot express, and videos cannot be archived.

But this is life itself, we personally experience, personally feel, we will be more colorful, we will grow into a better father and mother, and then learn to be a better grandparent, in valen need, timely help, let her have no scruples or hesitations, no hesitation or chagrin, let her and her future small family take over the baton of home and everything in our hands, on the road of life, bravely and happily hold their heads high and stride forward.

Image source: @Valen baby's running companion