"I don't want to go to my grandmother's house for the New Year, that's not my house"
The 12-year-old boy said this, and his mother broke down in tears
Only when the elders love their children from an early age, the children will grow up and become closer to them
Otherwise, even close relatives will become strange and distant
- Caption
01
The older the child, the more resistant he became to going to his grandmother's house
The night before yesterday, I saw such a topic online
"Who did you bring up your children?"
As a result, of the 2241 people who participated, 43.9% of the votes said that their children were brought by grandmothers from an early age
As soon as this data came out, other netizens also left messages
"Now it's all grandma belt"
"Take the baby to the downstairs for a turn, 7 of the 10 old ladies with the baby are grandmothers"
Indeed, many families now prefer to leave their children with their grandparents
Like my son, my mother brought up from a young age
Since he was born, my mother has been personally caring for the children
The relationship between the two is also very good, and when I was a child, I taught my son every time
The little guy cried and cried out to find his grandmother
And my mom loves her son very much
But I don't know when it started
My son is increasingly reluctant to go to his grandmother's house, especially for the New Year
And the older you get, the stronger this feeling of resistance becomes
Cause my mom to say it every time she sees me
"You're such a white-eyed wolf, I'll help you with your big child, and now I won't bring it home for me, I don't want to."
What she didn't know, however, was that there was a reason her son didn't want to go back
02
"This is not my house, it's my uncle's child's home."
Before the Spring Festival this year, I once wanted to take my son back to my mother's house
As a result, this child could not live or die, and I was so angry that my whole person was not good
The child's father saw that our mother and son were a bit deadlocked, so he came over to play the round
Dragging his son back to the room, it didn't take him five minutes
I heard my son shouting
"I just don't want to go, that's not my house"
Listening to my son's words, I was even more angry, and rushed in and questioned
"It's not your home, whose house is it?"
I didn't expect my son to be hurt too, yelling
"That's my brother and sister!"
A sentence made me completely angry, but what followed was the heartache and grievances that surged in my heart
Yeah, every time I take my kids back to my mom's house
Not only is the child uncomfortable, but in fact, I and the child's father also have very embarrassing times
I remember that after the Spring Festival last year, our family of three went back to the party
At that time, the brother and his son and daughter were also at the mother's house
So a few children played together, and everyone sat happily and cut colored paper
My son's hands and feet were sharp, and he quickly cut his own
Just pick up my brother's son's paper cut to help cut it
As a result, my brother's son saw it and said angrily
"How do you take other people's things casually, it's so rude, I'm going to tell Grandma, you stole my paper, you're a thief"
When the son heard his cousin say this, he was very aggrieved and protested loudly
"I'm not"
The two children suddenly quarreled, so I went over and asked the reason for the matter
Then tell your brother's children
"The younger brother is not a thief, he just wants to help you, and your aunt wants you to apologize to your brother."
Unexpectedly, the nephew was not only unwilling to apologize, but also retorted
"Don't bully me, this is our family, you are all outsiders, stealing my paper should apologize to me"
At this time, my mother also heard the movement and quickly ran over
Pulling the brother's son said
"You are older than your brother, you have to let your brother, and your brother and aunt are guests, you can't be so stingy to know?"
Although the nephew and the mother are unintentional, one is still young
One didn't think too much, but to be honest, even I felt uncomfortable at the time
My son pulled down his face at once
I got up and walked to the room, picked up my coat and put it on to go
It was this incident that caused the child to be estranged from his grandmother from then on, and he did not go there several times this year
03
"Don't push me, I don't want to put on a show"
To say that during the year, the most headache for children
It's better than when relatives get together and let the children perform a show for everyone
Although my son has a lively personality, his talent is also good
But he is very self-conscious, and the most annoying thing is that he is forced by relatives and parents to openly "open business"
And every time I go to my mom's house for a party
There would be a whole bunch of relatives forcing him to perform the show
Either the elder asked him to sing a song, or the elder asked him to recite the poem
What's even more embarrassing for the child is that every time my mother likes to "stir up the wind and ignite the fire"
All kinds of coercion and inducements against his son in order to show off to others
"This is my grown-up child, have a chance"
So the son avoided going to his grandmother's house
Indeed, for children, the older they get
The easier it is to reject this forced open business, because this "business" method often makes them feel both awkward and painful
In the variety show "Mars Intelligence Bureau", it was discussed
"Children who were forced to perform shows when they were young, how did they grow up?"
As a result, many people left messages
"The more I grew up, the more I resisted, and the shadow left by my childhood was too deep"
04
"Every time I was compared, I was bored to death"
In addition to the performance program, the children are the most annoying during the New Year
Probably when you get together, you are compared
When I was a child, I was taller than my grades
Grew up more than boyfriend and girlfriend, than work
When you get married, you will be more than your children and your income
In short, as long as relatives get together, it is impossible not to compare
The most frightening thing is that parents will also be very concerned, once the child is inferior in some aspects
Then in private they will be counted down in various ways
Since my son went to school, every time he went to my mom's house for a party
My brother loves to ask him
"How have I been studying recently, and how many points have I scored on the final exam?"
"Learn from your brothers and sisters, they have never let your uncle worry about it from childhood to adulthood, and you should not let your mother worry about it."
In this way, although my son has good grades, he is very annoyed every time he is asked and compared
Therefore, I did not want to go to my mother's house
Psychologically speaking, children are often compared
It is easy to have a sense of inferiority, and at the same time, it is also particularly concerned about what others say and how they see themselves
Thus it becomes "glass heart" or more vain
As parents, we should never compare our children
In addition, children who encounter relatives and compare should also stop it in time and tell the child
He's always the best
05
When parents do this, the child is not easily rejected
Many parents will reprimand and persecute their children when they do not want to return to their elders
But I forgot that the reason why the child does not want to go back is because of the above very realistic reasons
Therefore, parents must communicate more with their children
The first thing to do is to find out why the child doesn't want to go back
In fact, you must make sure that your child understands the problems he is worried about, and you will help him deal with them
Make sure you don't compare your child with others, and don't force your child to perform a show
At the same time, it is also necessary to let the children get along with the elders more often, so that the children will want to go back on their own
In addition, parents can also make an agreement with their children, they must go to this place several times a year, and how long they will stay
This way the child will have less resistance
Of course, if the child really doesn't want to go back
Then don't force it!
Well, that's it for today
Does your child prefer to go back to Grandma's house or Grandpa's house? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area to interact, see you in the next issue