What do you do when your child is being bullied?

What do you do when your child is being bullied?

2022-02-14

New Year's Day, more or less will meet a lot of bear children, then quarrels and so on are normal, a long time ago we discussed a problem, if you have children, what to do if you are bullied?

Do you theorize on your own, or should you go to a teacher, or should you let him fight back, or should you do it?

In fact, we have all been bullied, and we may have forgotten how to solve it at that time, in fact, this is a philosophical concept, because at this time, the main problem will be designed, that is, to choose the Confucian route, or the Dharma route?

Confucianism is benevolence, righteousness, wisdom, gentleness, courtesy, thrift, and resentment with virtue, and others hit your left cheek, and stick out your right cheek to beat him to impress others. But this is problematic, after all, Confucianism is more about the society of acquaintances, the family, or the enlarged home, that is, the family, and the society is also a big family.

It's just that Xiu Cai met bing, and it is reasonable to say it clearly. Although it is said that it is a big family, when you go outside, he does not follow this rule. So you see, in the article of "Han Feizi", there are a lot of examples, who is very disobedient, very mischievous, can not be solved by any method, and finally use a very harsh means, all of a sudden. Severe punishment, with this method is effective.

Therefore, the Legalists believe that the country can only be governed in this way by severe punishment and magic. The Confucian set of things doesn't work. Therefore, in the past, there has always been a saying that the Chinese dynasties were actually called "Yang Confucian Yin Law", that is, it was spoken from the outside, and the theories claimed to be Confucian, and the theories used were all Legalists.

Maybe it is more propaganda, even if we have been greatly impacted or even destroyed, there are still things in the bones of Confucianism, and parents still hope that their children can be kinder.

For example, whoever hits you, you fight back, although on the surface it is solved, it is also relieved, but there will be a feeling that the eyes will be rewarded, which may bring greater disasters.

After all, this is similar to a game, that is, a game to give reactions, just like "Spring of the Cattle Herding Class", it is a reaction, and the bad children themselves know what they have done, because this is a reaction game, not spontaneous.

East Asians have a culture of conflict aversion, with a special emphasis on this etiquette. When I encounter this matter, I already have a judgment in my heart, I think what you say is not right, but because of this face, because of this etiquette, I will not say it, I always hope that he will correct it himself, this thing is actually unlikely, some things.

We are used to looking for big brother help, looking for big brother to solve, so we have human debt, in fact, many things are like this, you don't face, find someone else to solve, will only pay a greater cost, similar to human feelings. The second is that when you are not willing to face it, you will still not face other things later, and you will never face it.

In places where the influence of Confucian culture is relatively deep, when he encounters conflicts, he is like this, that is, emphasizing harmony is precious, forbearance, and forbearance!

Just like Chinese sports, they play well, there is a lot of confrontation, their physical fitness is a little lower, they dare not face it, the natural result, the most feared is to become a habit.

So, when you have greater responsibilities, such as in the organization, when you sometimes have to stick to some point of view, when you have to, even include verbal conflicts, you have to learn how to solve this thing without fear, without avoidance, and without getting angry.

This may be what we often call emotional intelligence, which takes many years of hard work to learn. Perhaps that's why so many people send their children to learn taekwondo!

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Laugh at the past and laugh at the present, laugh at the east, laugh at the west, laugh at the south and laugh at the north,

Laugh and laugh, laugh at your own ignorance.

Look at things and things, look at the sky and look at the earth, look at the sun and the moon,

Looking up and down, looking at others is always high and low.