What level does Tuo Qingde's "Hear a Bright Voice" belong to? Does such poetry have any meaning in writing? What do you think is good about this poem? What's bad?
Author: General without a gun
◎ Citations from review articles are: China Cifu; The author is a member of the Chinese Writers Association, Secretary of the Party Group and Chairman of the Jiuquan Federation of Literary and Art Circles, and Chairman of the Jiuquan Writers Association.
Tao Yuanming in "Three Songs of the Shadow God" with "In the great waves, I don't like or be afraid." Do what you need to do, and don't worry about it alone. "Come and tell us:
"One must have a peaceful state of mind that goes with the flow and goes with the flow, and does not need to be arrogant and complacent in good times, and not to be overly sad and complaining in times of adversity."
In fact, he may have forgotten that reality is often cruel, and the so-called "peace of mind" is just a kind of self-consolation for the "frustrated...... people".
All right! Next, we will follow the pen of Tuo Qingde, Secretary of the Party Group and Chairman of the Jiuquan Federation of Literary and Art Circles, to appreciate his "mood" and writing skills under the "lyricism of seeing the scene"!
"Hearing a Bright Voice" is a "scene-inspired poem" that is "low-level in expression and artificial". At the same time, it is also a "realist showmanship".
[(1) "Low-level expression" refers to the excessive refinement of poetic language, although it can be derived (self-brain supplement) into a picture that fits the reader's mood and feelings under the incomplete meaning of the sentence. However, the incompleteness of the semantic meaning will also indirectly lead to the weakening of the relevance between sentence structures and the generalization, ambiguity and ambiguity of the main idea.
(2) "Sentence selection and artificiality" refers to the fact that the poem fails to create an artistic effect in a harmonious context under the concise voice, exaggerated rhetoric and stiff and far-fetched words, but also brings people a sense of half-swallowing and half-spitting, pretending to be false and elegant.
(3) "Instant poetry" refers to the lyrical poetic form of a certain emotion or feeling triggered by the scenery in front of the poem. 】
In addition, the word "bright" in the title of the poem, "Hearing a Bright Voice", is used to describe "visual sensations".
However, by taking advantage of the respective meanings of "brightness" and "brightness" in "brightness", "brightness" is completely related to "hearing" and "sound", creating a sense of so-called "penetrating" atmosphere for the reader.
To be honest, such a blunt and far-fetched combination, even if there is a certain implicit relationship with the content of the poem, it is just an eye-catching and sensationalist artificiality, and there is no skill at all.
Of course, in a sense, the word "bright" can also be extended to the category of "auditory perception", and can even be artistically applied to some irrelevant imagery and context.
However, as far as "Hearing a Bright Voice" is concerned, such a way of using the contrast of common sense cognition to create alternative aesthetics will actually expose the "narrowness" of the poet Tu Qingde's cognition of poetry creation and his ignorance in "word meaning analysis".
Let's focus on "Hearing a Bright Voice" to carry out some discussions, hoping to bring some substantive references to readers' reading and writing.
"The sheep are drinking / I turn away / The sky is fading"
At the beginning of the poem, the change in consciousness and perception of "me" is used to depict a dynamic scene, and its main function is to pave the way for the following, burying a foreshadowing of a "change, uneasiness or complex state of mind".
And "the sky is fading" is not an idiom or a normal statement, it is only a descriptive or suggestive function here. It can be understood as a change in time or a change in feelings.
"The last snow / Falling above my head / The swaying north is unfathomable"
From the point of view of sentence structure, this is a continuation of the previous "sky is fading", which mainly tells about the change of mood caused by the change of weather.
"The Last Snow" and "The Unfathomable Depths of the Swinging North" can be understood here as both a representation or rendering of the seasons, as well as a catharsis or metaphor for emotional attitudes.
In addition, the "swaying" in "The Unfathomable Depths of the Swinging North" can be understood to describe the appearance of snowflakes falling (referring to a figurative description), and can also be used to describe a change in mood. "Unfathomable" here can be understood to describe the climatic characteristics of the northern winter or a kind of estimation of something.
"Grass Seeds Running Wild / Rain in the Future / Heavily in Debt"
The use of "scenery to love" here shows a certain sense of worry or anxiety about the poet's feelings about the arrival of the rainy season in spring or after winter (which can also be understood as the arrival of the rainy season in spring, and the rain is excessive).
The "wild run" in "Grass Seed Run" is a dynamic anthropomorphic expression, which can be understood here as a statement or description of the growth process of grass (seeds) after snow (after winter).
On the other hand, "future rain/debt" can be understood as some influence (i.e., abundant rain that causes grass to grow vigorously and rapidly) in the spring or when the rainy season arrives.
Of course, if the inverted sentence of "grass seeds running wild/future rain/debt" is understood in relation to the "sheep" at the beginning. The "debt" here not only conceals a feeling about the fate of "grass" (referring to sheep eating grass), but also a metaphor for the powerlessness and compassion of a life situation (or actual situation).
In addition, it should be mentioned here that "in debt" is the closing sentence of the poem, although it is easy to give people a sense of nonsense here.
However, if we look at it from the realistic level of poetry (or literary works), the "debt" here is not so bad, but may become a major "bright spot" of the whole poem.
(The so-called "one bright spot" refers to the "debt-ridden" that not only adds the defamiliarity of the "diaphragm" to the artistry of the poem, but also highlights the poet's cry from reality and the current situation.) ）
To sum up, if we understand "Hearing a Bright Voice" from the perspective of depth and connotation, we believe that it is actually a kind of consciousness or realm derived from life through the changes of nature or physical images.
Of course, these ...... It's just a feeling that we give, and it's hard to imagine whether the poet has reached this level.
Maybe it's hard for you to believe ......!
In fact, the poem is not much rubbish, but it is not very good either, and at best, it can only be considered an extremely ordinary work.
If such a work is written by an ordinary poet and can be published in the "Chinese Cifu" under the "Poetry Magazine", then it is a different ......matter.
About author:General without a gun, real name: He Tianjun, hometown: Wanzhou, Chongqing, chief writer of the contemporary poetics interpretation platform [Commenting on Poetry and Taoism], independent critic, critic, and researcher of practical poetics theory; Respect: "Cultivate nature with poetry, and evaluate self-cultivation".