Why are children so disgusted with adults talking about Gu Ailing

Abstract: What is education? I remember a famous psychologist who said that education is what makes a person the best version of himself. However, many of our parents are keen to find various idols, stare at various "other people's children", and strive to shape their children into "the best version of others". This may be the reason why many children are so disgusted with adults talking about Gu Ailing. Let Gu Ailing become an idol for her peers and adults who love ice and snow sports, rather than parents who are keen to set up idols for their children to "become the best version of others". Let the children like Gu Ailing and free skiing, dare to challenge and break through, rather than parents saying "you see people"!

　 Spit on youth production

There is no doubt that Gu Ailing is the top of the social media popularity recently, and a few days have passed, and the circle of friends still maintains the heat of "brushing one or two times will be able to brush its name". The overwhelming articles explain the reasons for her success from various angles, the "rabbit mother" education method, Haidian tuition, 10 hours of sleep, how to become a winner in life. However, a friend of mine said that when he excitedly forwarded these articles to his middle school son and wanted his children to learn from their idols, he did not expect that the children reacted very coldly and did not want to open those articles. Throw him a word: Or you will work hard first, and first learn Gu Ailing's mother to be admitted to Peking University.

Haha, it is not unreasonable to be scared! Why do we always take the success of "other people's children" as an opportunity to train our own children. The child scolds you, you look at "other people's parents", why can't you?

The "frustration" that this friend suffered from the child reminds me of the blind spot that we often ignore when we talk about education, and the articles in the circle of friends that worship Gu Ailing, reveal and explain its success, none of them are the perspective of the child's own learning, all of them are the perspective of parental discipline, and they have a strong father's and mother's flavor. Although the fans of many articles look up at the taste of madness, they are not from the perspective of a young man of Gu Ailing's age, and unconsciously they are all their parents. Therefore, the text is full of preaching sense of "how successful this kind of education is", "you look at other people's children", "you have to learn from her".

This reminds me of the previous year when the "back wave" speech was boiling with blood, people began to think that the "back wave" was surging and rushing, and later found out that this was just the self-touching of the "front wave" and the self-amusement of middle-aged parents. The front wave's full-flavored admonition to the back wave father fictionalized a rushing issue, and few back waves really bought it. Gu Ailing fever may not be the enthusiasm of young people of her age, but the enthusiasm of their fathers in the name of "parents". Anxious parents are always exploring "other people's children" in the field of public opinion, as "chickens" of their own children's successful learning resources.

On social media, a child's complaint is very interesting: can't you watch a game well? Can't you praise her as a good athlete? How beautiful and thrilling Gu Ailing's last jump was, why did she have to turn her into a "child of someone else's family" who educated other children.

Once, in exchange with students, a Peking University student helplessly said that he did not like this feeling very much, and after he was admitted to Peking University, it became a "nightmare" for other children in his family. How to say it? Every time other parents in the family educate their children, they will inevitably carry him out, and you see how people are doing. I don't know if Gu Ailing will have this uncomfortable feeling of "becoming a nightmare for other children" in the overwhelming father-style articles, what I know is that at least as a child, when he hears the words "other people's children", he is very repulsive.

Another time, I assigned a comment assignment to the student, and a student submitted three comments for me to comment on in order to train his writing ability and because he had the desire to express several hot spots. When she handed in her homework, she specially attached a sentence, asking me not to praise her in class for oversprote three articles, she just wanted to "write more and be repaired." I understand her, she's worried that that kind of praise will exacerbate a kind of "volume" that places a mental burden on others, just as praising the word count of the assignment or the length of the paper will lead to the volume of word count. The reason why excellent children are easy to attract hostility among their peers is that many times they are not all jealous, and there is also the kind of disgust stimulated by the inner-volume demonstration of "you look at other people's children". Smart as Gu Ailing, she must not want her own efforts and success to become a "nightmare" for other children.

What is education? I remember a famous psychologist who said that education is what makes a person the best version of himself. However, many of our parents are keen to find various idols, stare at various "other people's children", and strive to shape their children into "the best version of others". This may be the reason why many children are so disgusted with adults talking about Gu Ailing.

Most of the discussion about Gu Ailing's education and growth is not from the perspective of the child's own growth, but from the perspective of parental discipline. It is not to follow the laws of education to restore the growth of an excellent athlete, but to use the utilitarian logic of success to squeeze out the "reasons for success" that can be copied. People don't care about growth, only care about success, success is everything, and everything under success is worth learning. Success becomes a beauty filter, beautifying every past experience of celebrities, using vulgar dialectics of suffering to overinterpret the failures, struggles and efforts experienced by celebrities, viewing everything done as a preparation for success, with the simple and false cause and effect of "effort can succeed", covering up the accidents, specialities, luck, yin and yang errors and noble help that determine the determinants of individual success, and also ignoring the general laws after individual cases in "survivor bias".

One of the big problems in our education is that this success-based idol hunger and thirst is not the child's own orientation, but "other-oriented" and becoming the "best version of others". So, constantly looking for idols, constantly trapped by success, trapped in the anxiety system of being involved by others, losing yourself. Let everyone become the best version of themselves, this kind of education needs to pay attention to each child's heart, respect each person's personality, explore their interests, accompany the growth of children, love children, applaud every progress of children, give him applause when he needs encouragement the most, and give a push when he flashes the light of interest in his eyes. The beautiful education scene is not that parents push gu eling to their children, how to grow, how worth learning articles, but to sit with their children and watch the game, listen to him talk about how cool and beautiful the jump of free skiing is, and how beautiful it is to do what they love.

Let Gu Ailing become an idol for her peers and adults who love ice and snow sports, rather than parents who are keen to set up idols for their children to "become the best version of others". Let the children like Gu Ailing and free skiing, dare to challenge and break through, rather than parents saying "you see people"!