Some people say that love is understanding and tolerance, and some people say that home is never a reasonable place, winning reason, losing feelings... I admit that all this makes sense, but isn't it mutual? I work so hard to understand, to tolerate, why do two people still go farther and farther? This life is so tiring, I really want to escape...
I am Zhao Zhi, 36 years old, working in a private company, and my wife, Liang Xiao, 35 years old, a hospital pharmacist. My wife and I are college classmates, in different departments at the same school. After I graduated, I directly looked for a job to work, my wife continued to study in graduate school, after graduation in a third-class hospital in the city to work, and I, because I am a general undergraduate graduate, the work was not smooth at the beginning, the money was not much earned, but my wife has not given up on me, I am very touched, and I am also good for her.
My parents are working in public institutions, my father is still a small leader, so the family conditions are good, as soon as I graduated, my parents bought me a four-bedroom house in the city, a car of nearly 300,000. Liang Xiao is a rural native, her parents have been doing small businesses in other places, and she and her brother grew up with their grandmother. Liang Xiao's parents have a typical old idea of preferring sons to daughters, and they rarely ask questions about their daughters, but their sons' affairs will be taken care of in every detail. Therefore, Liang Xiao is very sensible and capable, of course, but also strong. All of this deeply touched me when I first started interacting with Liang Xiao. My parents also liked Liang Xiao, who was sensible and generous. What's more, Liang Xiao's education and job are better than mine, and anyone who looks at it thinks I have picked up a treasure.
When Liang Xiao graduated from graduate school, we got married, and when we got married, in order to show their respect for Liang Xiao, my parents gave my father-in-law and mother-in-law a dowry of 380,000 yuan, and Gave Liang Xiao 120,000 to buy jewelry and clothes. Liang Xiao was very touched and deposited 120,000 yuan into my small treasury with her, but the 380,000 yuan, my parents-in-law did not give us a point, and the dowry was six quilts! I heard Liang Xiao call her mother behind my back and argue with her mother, hoping that her mother could refund part of the bride price, or buy her a car, otherwise she would not be a good person in her in-laws' house in the future. But the mother-in-law was unmoved. I was distressed by Liang Xiao, so I told her that the money was originally for her parents, and there was no need to bring it, and besides, there was no shortage of that little money at home. Liang Xiaocai was at ease.
After getting married, we lived in a new house in the city, and my parents lived in the county town, and only returned to their parents' house on weekends to reunite. The family is happy. But slowly, the contradiction came —
Liang Xiao is extremely sensitive, when I was with me, I accidentally said the wrong thing to make her unhappy, I would immediately coax her, so I don't think there is anything wrong, but when I get along with my family, she will always be inexplicably angry, saying that my family looks down on her, once I had dinner with my parents, my mother kept asking her to eat crabs, originally cared about her, but she said with a straight face that she had eaten, this thing is not expensive, not only rich people can afford to eat. It made my mother look stunned, the meal was also eaten unhappily and scattered, and what was even more annoying was that afterwards she still did not spare me to argue, saying that her family conditions were not as good as my family, but it was not so despised by my parents, I repeatedly explained to no avail, she was stunned for three days and ignored me!
Soon after, because of work problems, I went to work at a private company in Linshi, and we began to live separately. It may be that the distance produces beauty, we wechat every day, video, feelings seem to be back in love, because the number of times back to the parents' home is less, the contradiction is also less, our family of four built a group, usually chat in the group, feel quite good.
A year later, our son was born, and I was promoted to a department manager, earning even more than Liang Xiao. Of course, it's busier. Because my parents have not yet retired, they can't help us with the children, so they give Liang Xiao 6,000 yuan a month, let her ask a nanny to take the children, usually every one or two weeks, my parents will go to the city to see their grandchildren, chicken, duck, fish, rice noodles, oil and salt are bought and sent to my home. In the words of my parents, it is not easy for Liang Xiao to go to work alone and take the child, anyway, the money will be yours in the future, as long as Liang Xiao is happy. Liang Xiao was also very touched by my parents' approach, telling me more than once that my parents treated her better than her biological parents. Saying she would take care of the kids gave me no worries. At that time, I was very satisfied with my life and felt that everything was so beautiful.
Slowly, as I became busier and busier, as my income became higher and higher, Liang Xiao became more and more sensitive and insecure.
When I go to work during the day, it's okay, after all, she's busy, but she'll still squeeze in time to send me WeChat, ask me what I'm doing, and when I get off work, it's even worse, and at least six videos are sent over an average of a night, saying that the child is looking for a father. As we all know, working for private enterprises, to earn a high salary, is not easy, I am not on a business trip or on the way to a business trip, sitting on the car is still busy sorting out information, do PPT, sometimes can not reply to her message in time, she will kill the chain, sometimes I am too busy, the tone is not gentle, she will be angry, looking for me to argue, saying that my bones are hard, do not love her, do not forgive, even if I am tired on a business trip, if I do not apologize, she can find you to argue all night! Because I know her personality, many times I suppress my temper, explain it to her well, and pretend to apologize to my grandson - even if I am not wrong at all!
However, my concession did not satisfy Liang Xiao, but made her worse, and she vented her dissatisfaction with me on my parents and on the children.
Last month, because her brother was coming to my city to look for a job, she told me in advance, but it happened that the day her brother came, I received a notice from the leader that I was going to travel for a few days, so I could only ask a colleague of mine who had a good relationship to help me find a good hotel for my brother-in-law, and told Liang Xiao that I was on a business trip. But that night Liang Xiao sent a message in the group of four of us, saying that the poor people are not welcome, knowing that the brother-in-law is coming, but going on a business trip, my parents read the message and called me to ask me what was going on, I told my parents about the situation, and my parents also felt quite speechless. My father was used to being a leader, so he replied to Liang Xiao in the group: Zhao Zhi couldn't help himself from working outside, and arranged a place for his uncle to live, and he could only grievance his uncle to take care of himself first. Unexpectedly, this reply stabbed the honeycomb, Liang Xiao suddenly broke out, and kept asking my parents in the group what I meant, could it be that my Liang family could not afford to live in a hotel? Doesn't my brother take care of himself? Could it be that our sisters and brothers rely on Zhao Zhi to eat... A sentence aggressive, so that my parents dumbfounded, simply do not reply to her, Liang Xiao in the group can not get a response, so directly call bomb me, I repeatedly explained, she does not forgive, I let her calm down and talk again, then hung up the phone. Less than five minutes later, her phone came again, inside the son was crying heart-rending, mixed with her crying and scolding, the son was crying while shouting at his mother not to cry, at that moment, I really felt so tired, obviously a small thing, why can't she understand me, but to distort the facts? In a huff, I turned off the phone and let her make trouble, I just wanted to be quiet.
Because there were other colleagues on the business trip together, I met with a few colleagues on the next day's work, exchanged some opinions, and waited until I turned on the machine again, it was already two hours later. As soon as the boot was turned on, all kinds of information, missed calls poured out. Liang Xiao had 51 messages, 30 missed calls, and the last message was: Since you don't love anymore, then I will disappear with my son. Brother-in-law's message: If something happens to my sister, I will not let you go! My parents also made several phone calls. I rushed to contact Liang Xiao, the phone was connected, she just cried, I kept apologizing and swearing, and she told me that she was sitting on the roof with the child in her arms. Only after my repeated assurances did she agree to take the child home. During this period, my mother's phone kept calling, and when I dialed my mother's phone again, I learned that the two old people had to drive to the city late at night because I turned off the phone and worried about Liang Xiaomu and son! Thinking about it, because of a little thing, making my parents worry late at night, I feel like I'm in a lot of pockets! At that moment, I really wanted to let go, this kind of marriage, too tired! Even if you love again, what about it? Relying on me alone to seek perfection, when is it a head?
In fact, calm down, I know what the problem is, Liang Xiao has been too lacking in love since childhood, so she is sensitive and insecure. I love her, so understand her. However, Liang Xiao did not agree with this, she felt that saying that she lacked love was insulting to her, that her parents were irresponsible. Every time I want to communicate with her well, I will be upset by her. After a long time, I didn't even have the desire to communicate. I know that if the problem is not solved, my home may really be scattered!
Dip the sauce for life:
This is the true story of my cousin's son. Zhao Zhi is really a good man, diligent and thoughtful, is a recognized warm man, Liang Xiao is usually very good, diligent, with children to work hard, as for the cousin and cousin-in-law, but also spare no effort to help the son and daughter-in-law. How did such a good family come to be like this?
I want to say that Zhao Zhi's analysis is reasonable, the reason why Liang Xiao this girl is sensitive and sharp, mainly because she lacks love from childhood, plus she herself has to be strong, so she always puts up the thorns on her body to protect herself, as everyone knows, she hurt herself and hurt her lover by doing this!
If Zhao Zhi has a little more patience, Liang Xiao can also face up to his own problems and communicate well with the two of them, can the problem be solved? Wouldn't it be a pity if a happy family was dissolved because of personality problems?!
Do you have a good way to help the little two reconcile the contradictions? Welcome to the recruitment!
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