Text/Uncle Bei Anchor/Yunwan
Source/Bei Shu Youyo (ID: beishu2016)
Naran Rongruo wrote in the words:
"If life is only like the first sight, what autumn wind and sorrow paint fan."
The things of affection are easy to get at first sight, and they are not tired of finding them for a long time.
We always think that the encounter of a glimpse can be exchanged for a long-term mutual keeping, but we do not know that people's hearts are changeable and their original intentions are difficult to keep.
No matter how deep the feelings, if you don't know how to manage, you will fade; no matter how close the lover, if you don't pay attention, you will disperse.
The disappearance of no relationship between the opposite sex is for no reason, and the feelings slowly fade, often for these reasons.
Lack of communication
In a relationship, the most uncomfortable thing is the lack of communication.
You don't ask, I don't say, you don't take the initiative, I don't share, the two lack communication and exchanges, from complaining to each other to being tired and silent, the gap arises in each other's hearts, and the distance grows between each other.
Many people, just in the lack of words to get along with the drift, quietly withdrew from each other's world.
In the TV series "Thirty Only", the reason why Chen Yu and Zhong Xiaoqin divorced is not because they do not love and do not care, but because of the lack of communication, and both of them live like an island.
Eat breakfast in the morning, one eats bread with milk, one eats fritters with small porridge, and the whole process is speechless;
After work, one nestled in the sofa to chase the drama, and one fiddled with the fish tank to raise fish, not disturbing each other.
Chen Yu was counted down by the leader in the unit, Xiaoqin comforted him, but he replied, "You don't understand what you said";
Xiao Qin cried and cried night after the miscarriage, Chen Yu was very worried in his heart, but he didn't care between words.
Because there is no daily communication, no explicit love, in the misunderstanding and indifference, two hearts are broken and a relationship is ended.
The writer Austin once said:
"A happy marriage must not only have an exchange of ideas, but also an exchange of feelings, and keep feelings in your heart, that is, to push your wife out of your own life."
Yes, silence is always the beginning of estrangement, and feelings do not continue without communication.
Image source: Panorama Vision
Even the best husband and wife relationship should communicate frequently, share interesting anecdotes of life, alleviate the depression and worry of work, soothe each other's grievances, and feel each other's indispensable existence.
Only by responding positively in feelings, bravely expressing in appeals, and cherishing the people in front of you with your heart can you live up to a love.
Too calculating
How many people, how much have I paid for you, often hanging on their lips?
When arguing, I will say, how good I am to you, how bad you are to me, count your own efforts, and ignore the other party's giving.
Little boyfriends are like that.
A few days ago, Xiao Xiao broke up with her boyfriend, and I didn't expect to be defeated by 3 months of cohabitation for 5 years.
Every time there is a contradiction, the boyfriend will always crackle and say that his efforts are not:
I cooked a meal and you didn't wash the dishes; I surprised you for my birthday, and you only gave you a cheap gift; I went to your house to buy expensive gifts, and you went to my house and only brought some fruit...
Even the last time the quarrel was fierce, the boyfriend also took out a small bookkeeping book, listed a "love bill" of eighteen thousand, said that it was living expenses and money to buy things for her, and asked for AA.
Xiao Xiao thought that the 5-year relationship could not reach 9,000 yuan, he felt extremely cold, if he was married, he had to worry about it every day, it was too hard, so he simply proposed to break up.
Feelings, it is impossible to calculate the gains and losses, falling in love with a person, is to be involuntarily good to her, will be willing to pay for her.
If you always worry about the trivialities in life, there will only be mutual accusations and complaints between you, the mentality will be unbalanced, the resentment will gradually arise, and even the best feelings will fall apart.
Writer Ma Renegade said:
"If you overthink the gains and losses, it's not love, it's a deal."
Too calculating in front of the loved one, slowly the enthusiasm will become cold, the joy will become sad, the love between each other will be consumed, and the relationship will become indifferent and alienated.
When two people are together, their hearts do not care, in order to maintain their love, people do not care, in order to see the beautiful.
There is no fear
"What is not obtained is always in turmoil, and those who are favored are fearless."
Eason Chan sang so shallowly in "Red Rose".
In the relationship, for what is easily not available, it is always extra yearning, and those who are within reach around are used to it, feel that the other party's efforts are taken for granted, and there is no initial patience to care for this relationship.
Over time, the enthusiasm is exhausted, the heart is hurt, and the ending cannot escape one or two wide.
In the movie "Forgive Him 77 Times", Lu Huixin and Zhang Zhisi are a pair of lovers.
In the interaction between the two, Zhang Zhisi used Huixin's liking and tolerance for him, and repeatedly made mistakes without repentance, but more brazenly deceived.
For example, when I went to the movies, Huixin waited for him for a long time in the rain, but he didn't care about his tardiness;
At the age of marriage, in the face of Huixin's urging to marry, he evaded it by excuse and continued to stir up flowers and grass outside;
Huixin's father had an accident, he was drunk and unconscious, leaving her alone to face the pain of losing her father...
Zhang Zhisi thought that no matter what he did, she would forgive, but she did not know that Lu Huixin, who constantly encountered disappointment and hurt in this relationship, was already disheartened.
By chance, Huixin saw the woman's contact lenses in his house, and she no longer chose to forgive, but left without a word.
The estrangement of a relationship is for a reason, all the departures are not temporary, and no one will be willing to give up a long, long relationship easily, unless it is really tired and desperate.
If love is not two-way, but a person who seeks perfection, will eventually slowly fade in the disappointment accumulated again and again.
Life is a lifetime, but cherish the two words, cherish to deserve to have, intentions can be long-lasting.
There is a sentence in Zhu Shenghao's love poem to Song Qingru:
"Don't have to be accompanied by ears and sideburns, a smile and a low head have fallen."
It's endlessly desirable.
What is missing in this world is never a thin fate, but does not know how to operate with heart,
You must know that without communication, feelings will deteriorate; over-calculating, the relationship will lose balance; there is no fear, and the love will be exhausted.
Feelings cannot withstand snubs, and deep love cannot withstand squandering.
For the rest of your life, may you live up to all your kindness, not owe me any enthusiasm, and resist the long years with love.
Like this article, remember to light up "in the watch", good night.
Tonight, let's talk about Zhang Yimou and Meng Wanzhou
Tomorrow, who remembers the Chinese women's football team
Author: Uncle Bei. Source: Beishu Youyo (ID: beishu2016), an all-round growth platform for urban women, there are marital emotional problems, pay attention to Beishu, give you the answer! Every night at nine o'clock, we don't see each other. Editor on duty: Liang Xiaoyu.