1, the wife went abroad, the family left me and my mother-in-law two people, my mother-in-law is 48 years old this year, the long charm still exists, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, my father-in-law

1, the wife went abroad, the family left me and my mother-in-law two people, my mother-in-law is 48 years old this year, the long charm still exists, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, my mother-in-law in a company as a financial director, the ability is very outstanding, the income is also very high, so there are many bachelors want to pursue my mother-in-law. But because my wife was not happy that her mother would find a stepfather for herself, she has always opposed her mother's remarriage. This time my wife went abroad, and many bachelors felt that there was an opportunity, and they all flocked to my house to propose to my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law was embarrassed to face such a scene, so she asked my son-in-law to come forward for her. In the end, I secretly operated, selected the chairman of our company, and let him and my mother-in-law come together. Our chairman promised me that when he retired, the whole company would be taken care of by me. I'm so witty!

2, recently the hand is a little tight, the money to buy cigarettes is gone, so I want to ask my daughter-in-law to ask for pocket money. Daughter-in-law: "Two hundred is enough?" I happily gestured OK with my fingers. The daughter-in-law suddenly roared angrily, "Do you dare to ask for three hundred?" Roll on, not a dime! After saying that, she turned and left, and I was stunned in the same place for half a day. Everything happened so fast that I kind of didn't understand...

3. The relationship with the president is ambiguous, and this month I was given an extra 5,000 yuan bonus. I was so happy that I asked my girlfriend out for coffee after work! I saw her fat figure and said happily, "Yo! The big miss has become fat, and people can't get fat if they want to! After saying that, I looked at her sheepishly. She looked at me and said calmly: "Getting married is easy to get fat, I really envy you to keep a good figure all the time." I was embarrassed at the time, she smiled elegantly, looked at me and said, "Hmm, the single dog still wants to fight with me!" ”

4. I worked in the United States for half a year, accumulated more than 200,000 yuan every day, and opened a small supermarket after resigning. This morning, a male customer came to the store to buy something, and he left without looking for change. I chased out with the change and yelled: Handsome man, look for your change! As a result, there are countless men on the street looking back at me, do they all want to be handsome?

5, pluck up enough courage, about the favorite girl at 6 pm to eat together, this is 6:20, she has not come. I couldn't resist and sent her a message: "Where's it going?" "There was no response. Is this a silent rejection? Or is gao leng ignoring him? My heart is sinking. Just then, I received a message. She sent it: "It's eye shadow." ”

6. ↓ Went to Sanya, Hainan with my wife for a honeymoon, and my wife asked me to take pictures of her. She took a look at her phone and angrily said, "Why do you shoot me in the face so big?" Me: "Didn't you say you were going to shoot a close-up?" Wife: "Then come to Zhang Yuan." After the shooting, the wife was even more angry, she said: "Let you shoot me and the beach, why do you shoot like I crouched on the beach and pulled SHI?" Me: "You're big and short, and I can't help it!" ”

7, the first love girlfriend who broke up for three years asked me to borrow 80,000, saying that she could meet my request, and when I was about to reply to her, I didn't expect her to block me. I couldn't accept this result for a while, shut myself in the house all day, played sad music, and then paralyzed myself with wine, and in the early morning and night, I sent a circle of friends: Why do I feel suffocated when I listen to songs? And with a picture of a bunch of finished Tsingtao beer. Half an hour later, I glanced at the comments and found that there was only one comment from the buddies: Trouble don't stuff headphones in your nostrils.

8, the husband especially liked their 50-year-old female boss, a few days ago was promoted to the project director, the annual salary rose to 2.5 million. Recently, my husband was particularly busy, and yesterday he went on a business trip with his female boss. Our house is 2 meters 2 big windows, I sleep alone is very insecure. At night, my husband suddenly called: You are fine, sleep on my side. I was immediately happy, thinking how much I missed me, do you want me to smell you? I asked shyly, "Why should I sleep on your side?" I didn't expect this cargo to say: You always sleep on the side of the window will be deformed...

9. I have always liked fitness, signed up for a sanda club, and later became a coach. Staying in the gym for a long time, with a strong body and muscles, he often caused the star eyes of fans. Later, I was with a sister who was in love with each other and continued to work in the gym after marriage. One night, while sleeping, a thief sneaked into the house, and I was ready to get up and arrest him. The wife asked confusedly: Why are you going? I said: You keep sleeping, and someone comes to me as a tutor.

10, at night to make a hot pot, I called my roommate and asked him to come back to eat, and the roommate said that I wanted to accompany my friend, so I ate alone, ate a lot of leftovers, and my brain pumped the leftover hot pot soup to the toilet and poured it on the toilet, blocked... Vegetable leaf balls and small sausages are everywhere, but I took the chopsticks and squatted in front of the toilet and fished and clipped. At this time, the roommate just came back, "Eat hot pot tonight..." "Yes", I turned my head and saw the roommate looking at me with surprise!?

11. My first girlfriend, who broke up for three years, suddenly asked me out to dinner. Halfway through the meal, the hotel manager came over and asked: Is the car parked at the door yours? I thought about not driving, but to avoid embarrassment. I said, "It shouldn't be mine, I don't seem to be parked at the door, you can look at what car it is, if it's Bentley it's mine." A few minutes later, the manager came back to me and said, "Sir, it's really a Bentley, you should be bothered to move it!" I was momentarily not calm...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #