What is loneliness for a person?
It can be torture, it can be torment, but it can also be metamorphosis.
The 2013 European premier best-selling novel The Pilgrimage of One Man tells the story of one's metamorphosis in solitude.
The protagonist, Harold, receives a farewell letter, and it turns out that a friend he has not seen for many years has cancer and will soon die. In order to save his friend, Harold decided to visit her on foot.
1 person, 87 days, 627 kilometers, this is destined to be an extremely lonely journey.
But it was this loneliness that allowed Harold to undergo metamorphosis and finally achieve self-redemption.
Starting out of doubt is the greatest courage
Harold was eating breakfast when he received a letter from his friend Queenie, whom he hadn't seen in more than 20 years.
This is a 60-year-old British man with no friends and no enemies;
He only worked a trivial job in a winery before retirement, and stayed at home almost every day after retirement;
The farthest way to go is to send a letter to the post office at the end of the street...
He seems to be trying to live a mediocre life.
But the news of Queenie's cancer fell into Harold's otherwise uneventful life like a stone.
On the way back to Queenie, Harold had a sudden thought: "I'm going to walk to see her!" ”
When he excitedly told his wife Maureen about the decision, he got Maureen's signature response: "I don't think so. ”
In Maureen's mind, Harold was just a failed husband and father; he seemed to be forever unresponsive and unable to give Maureen and her son what they needed.
Harold was silent in the face of Maureen's questioning, with only one belief in his heart: as long as I go down, Queenie will live.
This belief was so strong, so strong that Harold was willing to endure the loneliness of being questioned and set off.
I have seen a sentence: "The deepest loneliness of man is not understood." ”
Such loneliness, many people have had:
If you want to repeat the failure of the college entrance examination, some people say: "You are wasting time"; naked resignation, some people say: "You can't succeed"; running for dreams, some people say: "You are delusional"...
But the real brave ones still choose to set out after being questioned by the whole world.
Life is short, and some things are not done, and they eventually become regrets.
Don't let other people's questioning become the words of your life's inaction.
Reconciliation with oneself is a new beginning
In the first week, Harold's body was unwell, but he still forced himself to go down.
Along with the pain in his body, he remembered something more painful from the past:
When his mother left him, he was so resolute; when his alcoholic father took his aunts home for the night, he was so lonely and helpless; every time his son vomited and cried, he did not give him a hug or a word of comfort; after the son died, his wife lived in the guest room and drifted away from him...
The more he recalled, the more Harold's heart ached; the more his heart ached, the faster he walked.
It seems that he wants to cover up the inner wound with the pain of his body.
Until he fell into the pouring rain and was saved by Martina.
Martina is a doctor in her country. But for her boyfriend, she came to England.
One day, the boyfriend's wife and children suddenly appeared; the next day, they disappeared together.
Martina waited for her boyfriend day after day. She knew he would never come back, but she couldn't let go of her obsession.
Harold suddenly realized that he wasn't like this too? Unwilling to let go of the past, unwilling to let go of yourself.
In order to continue, Harold decided to reconcile with himself.
After re-embarking, he was no longer opinionated, but followed Martina's advice and purchased medicines and basic toiletries;
He no longer struggles with the body, when tired he will stop and rest, rest enough before continuing to move forward;
He no longer blames himself for not doing well in the past, he is now thinking about how to make up for it...
As the book says, "Harold's journey really unfolded from this moment." ”
Zhou Guoping once said: "The soul of the sincere person is often split into a judge and a criminal; when the judge and the criminal reach a reconciliation, the soul of the sincere person is saved." ”
No one is perfect, and if we cling to the regrets and mistakes of the past, we can only become prisoners of time.
Only by letting go of attachment and reconciling with yourself can you get a new beginning.
Only by returning to loneliness can we re-examine ourselves
After spending almost the pension, Harold stopped staying in hotels and found dry, flat places to rest in the wild.
Lying in his battered sleeping bag, he often heard the mournful cries of animals. But he was not flustered, not afraid, and was accustomed to capturing a sense of stability in loneliness.
A one-man journey, Harold will undoubtedly have to endure loneliness.
But it was this loneliness that gave him the opportunity to re-examine himself.
In the quarreling couple, Harold found that he should give his wife more understanding and hugs;
From the hollow eyes of the woman who had lost her child, Harold realized that when her son died, his wife must be equally desperate and painful;
In the relationship with his followers, Welf, Harold also realized that he owed his son so much patience and closeness...
In the loneliness, Harold saw his problem clearly and finally found a way to make up for it.
Jiang Xun wrote in the "Six Lectures on Loneliness":
Loneliness is the beginning of a full life, and without the experience of being alone with oneself, one will not know how to get along with others.
Life is in the sea, the years are hurried, how many people are used to moving forward with their heads down, and gradually lose themselves in the crowd of chaos.
It's time to stop, to return to solitude, to give yourself a chance to reflect and examine yourself; to think about how the happiness of the past was lost and how to recover it now.
The end of loneliness is the rebirth of happiness
"I can't hold on, I can't go."
With 16 miles left in Berwick, Harold called Maureen and he had a complete breakdown.
A few days ago, he was accompanied by a large group of followers.
Later, the large army, led by Richie, left Harold behind and reached Berwick in a faster way;
Wilf, whom Harold regarded as his son, had long since disappeared;
Her favorite Kate also decided to end the trip and go back to reconcile with her ex-husband;
Even the puppy that accompanied Harold all the way jumped into a girl's car and left him...
The hustle and bustle passed, and loneliness struck again, crushing Harold.
Fortunately, Maureen encouraged him to go. Because Maureen knew that if he was made to give up so close to his goal, he would regret it for the rest of his life.
Harold finally gritted his teeth and completed a man's pilgrimage, metamorphosed in loneliness.
At the end of the story, Queenie, who has been suffering from illness, waits for her long-cherished old friend, and leaves peacefully like a child.
His wife, Maureen, had driven a hundred miles to Harold's side and accompanied him to Queenie's funeral.
The journey was over, but something new was reborn.
Harold and Maureen walked hand in hand again after a gap of 20 years.
In the setting sun, they remembered the scene of their first meeting and the long-forgotten joke, and the laughter of the two people came and went.
Bi Shumin once said, "The path of cultivation is always lonely, because wisdom must come from loneliness." If a person can achieve something in loneliness, then his heart must be strong. ”
Loneliness is hard, but if you survive loneliness, you are overcoming yourself.
After all, there are some roads that must be walked by one person in order to see different landscapes; some truths must be understood by oneself in order to fully understand.
"One Man's Pilgrimage" is far more than a one-man pilgrimage.
Harold has completed this quiet and courageous journey, and it is time for us to go.
The road ahead is vast and only a shadow.
I hope that you and I both have the courage to face loneliness head-on, and we also have the perseverance to survive loneliness.