Xu Zhimo said:
A person should at least once, for someone and forget themselves, do not seek results, do not seek peers, do not seek to have, do not even ask you to love me, only to meet you in the most beautiful years.
Such a beautiful sentence, the protagonist is not Zhang Youyi.
The best appearance in love has always been, I am with you, and you accompany me for a lifetime.
But the saddest thing is that I love you deeply, but you are infatuated with her.
Zhang Youyi was born in a wealthy family, but she was born from a young age.
Xu Zhimo
She was the second sister in her family, eight men and four women, and she had no place in the family under the patriarchal concept of the time.
She later wrote in her autobiography:
"Before telling you my story, please remember one thing:
In China, a woman's home is worthless. After she was born, she had to listen to her father; when she was married, she had to obey her husband; and when she was widowed, she had to obey her son. You see, women just aren't worth much. ”
From a very young age, her mother told her that her daughter would always be an outsider, eating dry food for nothing, unable to ascend to the hall of elegance, and unable to talk about the glory of the ancestors, so only the son was a "family member".
Therefore, regardless of the education situation at home, the family will not sacrifice their son's education.
Zhang Youyi
Zhang Youyi's second and fourth brothers began to learn German and French very early, and even when they were in the middle of the family road, the second brother studied law and political science at Waseda University in Japan.
What did she learn?
Three from four virtues, ethical principles, husbands and godsons, women are humble.
However, it was in such a family that she became the only woman in the family who did not have a foot binding.
She even went out to study alone when she was ten years old, and saw an admissions advertisement with extremely low tuition on the "Declaration", and she tried to persuade her father to sign up.
Zhang Youyi said that I am a person who has suffered, and this kind of suffering is caused by her not being valued as a girl in this patriarchal family.
Compared with Lin Huiyin's Jiangnan talented daughter, perfume lily, Zhang Youyi is more like a plum blossom in the waxing moon, which has been blooming in the cold winter.
"April Day on Earth" Liu Reuying played Zhang Youyi
Zhang Youyi was promised to Xu Zhimo when she was 13 years old.
During the two years, she learned from many that her future husband was a man with "talent and a bright future".
At that time, Zhang Youyi was full of joy, she thought that the people she entrusted were progressive in thinking, rich in extremely advanced outlook on life and values, and fantasized that she would have a happy and satisfying life in the future.
At the age of 15, she married Xu Zhimo.
She may not know Xu Zhimo's expression when he first saw her photo: disdain, disdain, and disgust.
That sentence: "Countryman" still impresses me to this day.
"April Day on Earth" Zhang Youyi got married
Xu Zhimo's wedding to Zhang Youyi was extremely sensational, and both political and business sessions at that time applauded the wedding.
Zhang Youyi later said: At the wedding, I did not dare to look up at his eyes, I had hoped that when he first saw me, he would smile at me, but his eyes were so serious from beginning to end.
15-year-old Zhang Youyi, even if her mind is mature, is just a little girl who has just opened her heart, and what she longs for is to be loved and cared for.
In the night of the candlelight in the cave, they only fulfilled the duties of husband and wife, but there was no slightest love.
Zhang Youyi recalled that night, she said:
Maybe a new woman would have said a lot that night, thanking fate for allowing me to meet him, but I didn't.
Stills from "April Day on Earth"
Marriage must begin with love, but for Xu Zhimo, marriage is only a responsibility.
After marriage, Zhang Youyi took care of her in-laws and was busy dealing with family chores, she talked and laughed with her in-laws, but to Xu Zhimo, she did not know what to say, and she did not know where to say it.
She deeply loved this man with deep eyes, romantic thoughts in his heart, and a clean appearance, but this love became an inexplicable pressure.
She wanted to pour him a cup of hot tea while he was reading, cook a table of food, and wait for him to eat.
She wanted to put on a formal dress, pick up her satchel, pick up her book, and carry him into the academy.
She missed him very much when she was thinking about him, and said to her: "Youyi, I miss you."
However, after the birth of his son Xu Jikai, Xu Zhimo fulfilled his parents' wishes, and he resolutely decided to go overseas to study, walking so crisply and without nostalgia.
People say that Xu Zhimo is affectionate, but he is so ruthless to Zhang Youyi.
For Zhang Youyi, the first half of her life was sad, the love was fierce, the ruthlessness of being abandoned, and perhaps she did not really understand this man from the beginning.
Two years later, she was lonely in the empty space after all, perhaps because she was uneasy about the prodigal son Xu Zhimo, or because she missed her husband, and he embarked on the road to Europe to find a husband.
Three weeks away, she fantasized about meeting Xu Zhimo every night in the cabin.
Three weeks later, she was in Paris, a romantic city where she seemed so out of place.
As soon as she got off the boat, she saw Xu Zhimo standing in the crowd looking east and west, and she would never forget that look and action.
Zhang Yi said: He was the only one waiting on the deck who did not want to stay there.
Indeed, after getting off the ship, Xu Zhimo's first words when he saw Zhang Youyi were: Look at your cold appearance, it is really humiliating to walk with you.
He took her to the department store to change her whole body, and she was like a lamb to be slaughtered, extremely obedient.
They went from Paris to London together, but along the way her husband's disgust and disdain made her feel full of sadness and disappointment.
I know that in Xu Zhimo's heart, zhang Youyi finally feels that Zhang Youyi is not worthy of him, she is like a woman wrapped in a lengthy footcloth in the old era, and he is the darling of the new era.
In her days in Europe, Zhang Youyi truly felt indifference and betrayal.
Not long after, she became pregnant, and when she said this, Xu Zhimo's first reaction was to quickly beat it.
It was so cold and desperate that she thought that the birth of the child might change his attitude anyway, even though he was so determined.
The world only knows that Xu Zhimo and Lin Hui had a romantic and beautiful encounter in Paris, a picturesque love, but few people know that behind this there is a woman struggling in pain.
Therefore, romantic love is sometimes two-sided, one side is the hormonal passion, the other side is the collision of reality.
Zhang Youyi said to Xu Zhimo: I heard that some people died because of beatings.
Xu Zhimo sarcastically said in a cold and frosty tone:
"There are still people who die because they took the train, don't they take the train?"
This was their last conversation, after which Xu Zhimo proposed a divorce and disappeared.
Wandering and helpless, being abandoned by her husband in a different place, pregnant with Liujia, I am afraid that no one is more miserable than Zhang Youyi at that time.
Fortunately, the second brother Zhang Jiasen was studying in France at the time and wrote to her: Don't beat the fetus, the brother is willing to adopt, abandon everything, and come to Paris.
With the help of her second brother, she spent that autumn in the French countryside, which was four months of gray for her.
After experiencing abandonment and betrayal, she finally understood that a woman's humility always comes from excessive dependence on men, and it just so happens that he is still a man who does not love you.
She decided to agree to Xu Zhimo's divorce agreement, she said: I want to pursue my own thoughts and be a woman with my own self.
She decided to become a teacher, self-reliant, she did not want the child to feel that she was a traditional feudal woman, she wanted to be the child's flaunt.
He also wanted Xu Zhimo to take a look, and I would still live well without you.
The divorce between Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo also became the first divorce case in the Republic of China.
Xu Zhimo divorced Zhang Youyi
Some people say: A woman has two lives, one dies in divorce and one is born in divorce.
Zhang Youyi, who left Xu Zhimo, is independent and strong.
She said in her autobiography " Little Feet and Daughter-in-Law : The Family Changes of Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo " :
"I want to thank Xu Zhimo for the divorce, if it were not for the divorce, I may never be able to find myself and grow up." He liberated me and became another person. ”
But fate was so cruel to this woman, and peter, the youngest son who had been born in pain, died of an illness.
She cried a lot, but for her immersion in pain meant death.
Zhang Youyi returned to China with the ashes of her youngest son
She regained her strength, went to Germany, and began a life of rebirth. She said: "Before going to Germany, I was afraid of everything, after Germany, I had nothing to fear.
She later returned to China to become a vice president of the China Women's Bank and then the general manager of a fashion company.
She is also the first female banker in China.
Even so, she never felt like a learned person all her life, because she felt that learning was difficult to do, but life was easy.
Zhang Youyi works in a bank
In terms of family, she raised her son alone and took care of her in-laws, even if she was divorced, she did not forget that she was the daughter-in-law of the Xu family, just like he said himself: I can not be Xu Zhimo's wife, but I must be the daughter-in-law of the Xu family.
I don't know if Zhang Youyi still loves Xu Zhimo at this time, but I know that her understanding of love that she interprets in her own way is responsibility, tolerance and support.
Xu Zhimo has loved Lin Huiyin and Lu Xiaoman, but he has not loved Zhang Youyi.
But Xu Zhimo was the only man Zhang Youyi had ever loved, and later when she got married, she also said: Do I love him or not? I do not know.
What is the real tragedy in love?
It is the companionship of infatuation and selfishness, deep love and stubbornness, and once love is impossible to extricate itself, absurd ignorance will flood into disaster.
In her later years, someone asked Zhang Youyi whether she loved Xu Zhimo, and she said: Among the several people I met in this life, I loved him the most.
Although her love for Xu Zhimo was humble, it was invaluable after all, and she eventually lived herself and received a lot of love.
Some people say that Zhang Youyi is free, I don't think so, no woman can still be free after being abandoned by love.
It can only be said that she is lucky, far away from harm, not to let herself suffer for a lifetime.
Middle-aged Zhang Youyi
There is such a question on Zhihu: Will men like women like Zhang Youyi?
I like one of the answers very much: most men just don't like women like Zhang Youyi, and women are not born to make men like.
Zhang Youyi's first half of life is lonely, inferior, and helpless, but the second half of her life is dashing, independent, and autonomous, and women should not be like this.
Lu Xiaoman is playful and cute, and has a variety of styles;
Lin Huiyin is a talented woman who exudes intellectual beauty;
And Zhang Youyi is a sonorous rose, a plum blossom of the waxing moon, a stubborn and tenacious woman.
Xu Zhimo's life has been tossed on them, and he is happy.
Knowing Zhang Youyi, I suddenly understood: only independence and self-confidence, rather than endless compromise and sacrifice, can women get real love and respect.