Children can't play with their mobile phones in school, will they play harder at home during the holidays?
When going to school, you can forcibly "confiscate" the mobile phone, and if the parents at home during the holidays also take simple and rough management behaviors, the child does not buy it and does not say it, which is more likely to intensify the parent-child conflict.
Whether the winter vacation can guide children to use mobile phones within a reasonable limit is greatly considered by the wisdom of parents.
Whether the child can handle the relationship between learning and mobile phones directly affects the success or failure of the winter vacation, and may even determine the future of the child!
As explained in front of the main text, this article is only for children who can't do without mobile phones every day, but they are not serious enough to be addicted to the extent of heavy addiction. If the child has developed to the point where he will not learn or even threaten to jump off the building without playing with his mobile phone, then it is recommended to seek medical treatment as soon as possible.
01
Spring Festival visits, adults play mahjong, nephews in the sixth grade of primary school, a person quietly lying on the sofa.
Of course, he had the phone in his hand.
It's a child's nature to love to play, but no child naturally likes to play with the phone.
Many times it is because we adults are greedy to play, in order to liberate our own time, we throw our children to mobile phones.
At an age when children do not have enough self-control, it is precisely because we are too lazy to accompany children that children gradually become addicted to mobile phones.
So when it comes to how to guide children to use mobile phones reasonably, the best way is to set a good example for children and concentrate on accompanying children.
The best in this regard are the parents of Tsinghua talented woman Wu Yishu.
Wu Yishu is the champion of the second season of the "Chinese Poetry Conference" and is recognized as a "talented woman". In 2019, Wu Yishu was admitted to Xinya College of Tsinghua University with a good score of 613 points (660 points in the Shanghai college entrance examination).
In an interview that year, his father revealed the key to family education:
Every day after 4:30 p.m., the mobile phone is turned off on time, no work, no play, no chat and play games, and the children learn together without distraction.
The child likes poetry and songs, and the parents accompany her to "like". They insist on accompanying their daughters to read, paint, study, and play "poetry solitaire", and enjoy it tirelessly.
With the popularity of the variety show "Heartwarming Offer 2", Wu Yishu's father also successfully "went out of the circle".
It turned out that he was one of the partners of the well-known JunHe Law Firm in Shanghai, and finally knew why his daughter was so strong.
As a lawyer, Wu Yishu's father, Wu Lei, is busy with his business, but he has made the decision to accompany his daughter to grow up every day.
For the sake of children's growth, how many people can really turn off their phones after work?
02
Tell me another story.
One of the students I teach often talks to my classmates about live streaming and games between classes. Homework is often copied with a mobile phone to take a picture of the answer, or let the classmates take a weChat photo to pass over.
In my small talk with this student, I learned that their family held their mobile phones at night, dad played games, mom brushed fast hands, and he played vibrato.
After meeting his father, I suggested that his family build a "machine" farm.
The whole family's mobile phones are put together. Whether it is a phone or a message, whoever has a mobile phone rings, who will deal with things, and immediately put the mobile phone back in place after handling things.
Three people supervise each other, and when they can't do it, the other two people can go and remind them. If you do not correct it after being reminded, you will be punished.
As for what to reward or what to punish, your family can discuss it well.
After discussing it, write down the reward and punishment system on a piece of paper and paste it in a more conspicuous place at home.
A month later, I made a routine follow-up visit to the students.
I asked him, "Do you still have your phone in your hands like before?" ”
"No, it's much better than before." The child looked happy, "Besides, I don't rely so much on my phone myself now." ”
Indeed, after the child arrived at school later, he could take the initiative to hand over his mobile phone in accordance with the school regulations, and did not need to be urged by the learning committee as before.
The cooperative efforts of the family have shown us the power of a small family to work together.
In this story, the main role is played by the child's father and mother.
Through the role of role models, parents create a harmonious and warm family life atmosphere that is conducive to the physical and mental growth and development of children, and finally help children get out of the mud of mobile phone dependence.
03
Parents lead their children through their own role models, and children can be influenced and changed, which is of course very good.
But what if parents can't go home without internet access, without looking at mobile phones, or if children don't care what parents do, they insist on playing mobile phones?
The point of this article is coming.
Learn to control the intestines and scrape the stomach and think of some "yin tricks", specializing in treating children to play mobile phones.
Everyone takes advantage of the fact that the children's learning pressure is not great during the holidays and the mood is relatively stable, choose a trick and a half, and let the children implement it.
!
Gentleman's Agreement
This article only applies to children who are not addicted to playing mobile phones.
1. You have the right to use your phone normally after school, but there is a maximum number of days per week.
When setting the length of time, it is best to refer to the data of the surrounding classmates, the following data is for reference only (in general, the older the age, the higher the degree of freedom to give the free control of the mobile phone):
7 hours/week of the first year;
9 hours/week in the second year of the first year;
11 hours/week in the third year of junior high school;
Senior 13 hours/week;
18 hours/week in the second year of high school;
Senior 15 hours/week
2. The use time of each type of mobile phone App is stipulated according to the principle of one-third:
One-third of the time spent playing;
One-third of the time spent socializing;
One-third of the time spent is spent on learning
3. Parents have the right to install devices and devices that monitor their children's network usage, and have the right to regularly check the apps in their mobile phones;
4. When you look at your phone after dinner every day to relax, use the time reminder software.
For example, some time management apps can set anti-addiction time reminders, once every half an hour, once every 10 minutes in the last half hour before the deadline, once every minute in the last 10 minutes, and once every 10 seconds in the last minute.
To put it simply, you can also use the timer function that comes with the phone to set a countdown, and then choose a bold and scary ringtone, which has a sense of urgency in minutes.
Equipped with dual mobile phones
Specializing in mobile phones is a bit addictive, like to brush the mobile phone before going to bed, unconsciously play for 1 hour without sleeping children.
Many children sleep in a house by themselves, turn off the lights at night, cats quietly play mobile phones in the bed, and parents are easily kept in the dark.
It is recommended to equip children with two mobile phones, a smart phone and an elderly machine. The elderly machine is agreed to be used every night after 21:00-22:00.
Take advantage of the Spring Festival family more parents to facilitate the supervision of the implementation, after a period of time, the child sleep well, the daytime learning efficiency is high, learning self-confidence improves, and slowly will quit the problem of looking at the mobile phone before going to bed.
Mobile phone playing time = exercise time (working time)
Presumably, parents will agree with the view of learning control: when children do not learn, more exercise can at least harvest a good body; addicted to mobile phones, is equivalent to self-destruction of the future.
There are no physical education classes during the holidays, but it is best for children to exercise outdoors every day.
Negotiate with your child that playing with your phone for an hour a day during the winter vacation must be matched with the same amount of outdoor sports. Or, every half hour of playing on the phone, you must complete the same length of housework, such as washing and cooking, cleaning.
This trick is especially suitable for children who like sports or need to improve their ability to live independently.
Do not buy a new machine after the phone breaks the screen
My son is hairy and doesn't care about things.
He bought an iPad in elementary school, and it only took 1 year to break the screen.
In order to make him less exposed to electronic products, he has not bought new ones. Later, a friend sent a new one, and at that time he told his son that he would buy electronic products in the future, and if the screen was broken, he would not buy new ones for a period of time.
My son came up with a mobile phone after he went to junior high school, but I quietly tore off the factory film (the mobile phone is more fragile without film). Then I agreed with him that the mobile phone would be kept well, and I would not buy a new one when I broke it in junior high school.
Sure enough, it only took more than half a year, and the mobile phone broke the screen. After that, he was embarrassed to take his mobile phone to school, and his use of WeChat was changed to iPad login.
The iPad has limited memory and does not support installing a large number of apps.
Unintentionally planting willows, he originally wanted to teach his son to cherish personal belongings, but inadvertently let him stay away from the infringement of mobile phones.
Headphones are not allowed on home phones
Children are not allowed to bring headphones when using mobile phones at home on the grounds that headphones affect hearing.
Of course, the whole family can't wear it.
Playing mobile phones without headphones, children will not be 100% immersed, playing games often turn on mute, listening to songs can not open a large volume, watching short videos do not feel, the length of playing mobile phones will be unconsciously shortened.
Desktops are only allowed on the Internet
I have a friend's house with two desktops and two laptops on an oversized desk.
The wife likes to shop online, the husband likes to brush Weibo, and the son likes to play the king - yes, but must sit in front of the computer and log in with the PC.
Whispering a word, like the king's kind of hand-speed game, playing with the computer will be quite clumsy, children always play the stars, and they will be interested in a long time.
Moreover, the use of desktops or notebooks instead of mobile phones, large screens can see each other, and the family sits together, although they are entertained, but they are connected, communicated, and also play a role in mutual supervision.
Most apps can now be logged in on the PC side. To log in with a computer, your child needs to sit squarely at the desk instead of lying on your stomach like with a mobile phone.
Moreover, the computer screen is large, which can also prevent children from logging into bad sites, prevent children from brushing mobile phones at night, and prevent the problem of mobile phones not leaving their hands.
04
The focus of today's article is not to explore how to take away mobile phones from children, but to explore how to let children use mobile phones less.
In the digital age, it is certainly not realistic to let children touch mobile phones at all.
Therefore, mobile phone control, "loose" is more important than "blocking".
There is nothing wrong with the phone itself, there are some mobile apps that endanger the physical and mental health of teenagers.
We parents should grasp the bottom line of mobile app use.
Share the bottom line of my home for your reference:
1. Short video App and live broadcast platform are red lines, and no family can touch them
The short video content is easy and funny, fresh and exciting, and it is easy to make teenage children addicted.
Recently, the China Youth Research Center released a survey report on "Characteristics and Protection of Short Videos Used by Primary and Secondary School Students".
The survey found that students who felt unwelcome among their classmates, were looked down upon at school, and had difficulty talking to people they met for the first time had the highest rate of exposure to short videos, and used short videos the most frequently and used short videos longer each day.
To sum up, lonely children in real life are more likely to seek comfort, recognition, understanding, and respect in the virtual world.
The short video will make the child close to himself, which will make the family lack communication, so our family's mobile phone is not installed with a short video App.
2. Games with social attributes can be played, and apps with social attributes can be used
A child's sociality is sometimes more important than academic performance.
Once someone from home came and played poker together.
But the son directly refused: "Our classmates interact, do not play cards, are all playing games." ”
A generation has a generational way of entertainment, and we must admit this.
Therefore, when children and classmates team up to play games, when children and their families play online games together, as long as they interact with people in real life, should we not allow it appropriately?
On the other hand, if you team up with strangers, play games just to pass the time, just to find a sense of existence in the virtual world, then this app will keep children away from society, should we resolutely oppose it?
3. Encourage children to make good use of online resources
After junior high school, the learning content deepens, and learning to check materials and expand knowledge on the Internet is an essential learning skill for children;
Downloading and printing exam papers from the Internet is faster and more comprehensive than buying reference books;
Many authoritative public accounts have strong effectiveness in articles, and can also broaden their horizons and increase their knowledge;
Use the learning platform to accurately find their own weak links, check and fill in the gaps in the winter and summer vacations, and review and consolidate;
Winter and summer vacations to read new books, listen to micro-lessons, do exercises, independently prepare mathematical, physical and chemical courses.
Now, as a learning tool, learning Apps can exercise and cultivate children's independent learning and inquiry skills; WeChat as a communication tool, children can discuss learning problems, communicate class and school-level affairs, and share growth secrets; games as a decompression tool, children can fight side by side, deepen friendship...
It is undeniable that mobile phones have been integrated into the lives of children and become an inseparable part.
It is not the phone itself that causes harm to the child, but the misuse of the phone.
During the Spring Festival, everyone is generally in a good mood, and there is more time with children, which is especially suitable for talking to children about mobile phone control.
Parents can use both hard and soft when negotiating with their children about the rules of mobile phone use during the holidays.
If the emotional card is not easy to use, and the rational rules are not observed, you can also make some strange tricks and strange tricks.
But no matter what the final family mobile phone use regulations are, our starting point is always to meet the child's inner growth needs, in order to get closer and closer to the child's heart.
The author | learning control
Original production of Beijing No. 4 Middle School Online School
Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited
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