Author: Insight Muye
With a ruler on the mouth, there is a road under the feet.
Some time ago, the quarrel between the two hosts of Tianjin Traffic Radio Station in the program was on the hot search.
The topic of the day's program was "Beijing is not a food desert", and the host took the audience to find Beijing cuisine.
Some listeners proposed "Beijing roast duck", which was immediately rejected by the host Aries, claiming that roast duck is not a delicacy, and he is not interested in roast duck.
Then, another audience member listed the Beijing belly explosion, which was again rejected by the white sheep, saying that "the belly explosion is not a dish."
At this time, another host, Wang Lin, stood up and played the round field, and reminded the white sheep:
"Today our theme is to discuss 'Beijing is not a food desert', food is not necessarily a dish, it can also be a snack."
The program continued, at this time someone said about Qianlong cabbage, and Baiyang listened to the condemnation and said that Qianlong cabbage was a cold dish.
Then Aries said on the show: "Whatever the audience proposes, I oppose." You say that Beijing is not a food desert, and in my opinion, there is no food in Beijing at all. ”
Wang Lin couldn't sit still and asked calmly, "Teacher Baiyang, why do you have to take a lever when the audience says anything?" ”
In this way, the contradiction was about to erupt, and the white sheep slammed the door in anger, leaving Wang Lin alone to insist on recording the program.
After the program was exposed, Aries was ridiculed by many netizens and was suspended by the radio.
Aries's words and deeds remind me of a new word on the Internet, called "suicide social".
As the name suggests, it is like to talk about the sky to death, to exalt oneself by belittling and refuting others, and to offend people in three words.
A person's emotional intelligence is often hidden in the way of communicating with others.
01
Don't write a sense of superiority on your face.
Shakespeare once said, "Instead of being stupid and wise, it is better to be a smart stupid person." ”
Some things can't be said, and some things are rarely confused.
In interpersonal communication, not showing superiority is a kind of literacy, but also a kind of emotional intelligence.
In Mr. Lao She's novel "Divorce", Xiao Zhao, a character who likes to show superiority, has been portrayed.
Xiao Zhao is not only despicable in character and arrogant, but also likes to show superiority everywhere to humiliate others.
The wife of a colleague Lao Li came from the countryside to the city, and he not only did not help, but also maliciously harassed others and made others ugly.
Knowing that Lao Li's wife and children had not eaten Western food, they deliberately took them to the Western restaurant where their colleagues gathered.
Knowing that Lao Li's wife did not understand Western food etiquette, she wanted to mislead him with all kinds of words, making him indecent in front of all his colleagues.
When the peacock opened the screen, it also exposed its ass.
Xiao Zhao's sense of superiority also made him lose his popularity, and he was annoyed and hated everywhere.
Franklin said, "Rebuttal may lead to a temporary victory, but you can never win the respect of the other side through this superficial victory." ”
People with really high emotional intelligence never write a sense of superiority on their faces.
They are always kind to the world and know how to respect everyone's life.
02
Show weakness and leave the sense of victory to others.
Writer Li Xiaomo once said: "Always to be better than others in words is the lowest emotional intelligence I have ever seen." ”
The reason why there is such an emotion is because Li Xiaomo has suffered losses in speech.
When he first went to college, Li Xiaomo was dragged by his classmates to sign up for the selection of the debate team of the academy, and after watching several classic international college debate competitions, he was fascinated by the feeling of verbal warfare.
The problems in life have become her debates, as long as she is caught, she must argue right and wrong.
Talking to people, once she hears the loopholes in the other party's words, she begins to question, refute and attack, always trying to suppress people, until the other party is forced to admit defeat.
However, the people around her not only did not think that she was powerful, but also felt that she was very self-righteous, paranoid and narrow-minded, not only did not admire her, but also isolated and far away from her.
The philosopher La Roche-Fuucco said:
"If you want to make enemies, you are better than your friends; if you want to make friends, please make friends better than you." 」
Language is a tool for communication, not a weapon for victory.
When a person always has to outperform others in words, the purpose of his speech is no longer to communicate, but to overcome others.
People with really high emotional intelligence often know how to show weakness and leave the sense of victory to the other party.
After all, people get along with each other, seeking comfort, not winning or losing.
03
Always look up, occasionally, never down.
In the entertainment industry, when it comes to high emotional intelligence, the first thing that many people think of is definitely Huang Bo.
Here, I will tell you two small stories of Huang Bo.
Once in the interview session, a reporter asked him: Can you replace Ge You?
The question is very tricky, Huang Bo answered like this:
"This era will not stop you from shining on your own, but neither will you cover anyone's brilliance."
Because people have pioneered the world and are filmmakers who created the times.
We are just some juniors who continue to move forward, and dare not make a mistake. ”
The humble attitude in his words not only exalted his predecessors, but also affirmed his own value.
Another time, at the 46th Golden Horse Awards and Huang Bo and Zhang Jiahui equally divided the film emperor, Zhang Jiahui has always been a little uncomfortable in his heart.
Later, at the 50th Golden Horse Awards, Huang Bo was invited to be the judge and award guest.
For the mustard in Zhang Jiahui's heart, Huang Bo resolved it in this way, saying that he could only win the award more than half a time, because he and Zhang Jiahui were equally divided that year.
Speaking of this, Zhang Jiahui's expression sitting under the stage is a little unpleasant.
Then Huang Bo said: "Zhang Jiahui also had nominations last year, and this year also nominated, he wants to work hard to get back the half he lost." ”
A sentence did not lower his identity, but also praised Zhang Jiahui.
Hearing Huang Bo's words, Zhang Jiahui suddenly became full of smiles.
Your attitude towards others hides your true character and upbringing.
Truly cultured people will never exalt themselves by belittling others.
I have seen such a saying that there are three attitudes to interpersonal communication: looking down, looking up and looking up.
The one who looks down is crazy, who is arrogant and domineering, and despises others;
The one who looks up is weak, sincerely fears worship and despises himself;
The level-eyed person and, not humble, respect each other, but also respect themselves.
People with really high emotional intelligence always look up, occasionally look up, and never look down.
Get along with people, if you are not good at praising people, at least do not step on people, this is the most basic quality of being a person.
▽
In "Strange Story", Huang Zhizhong once said:
"Nine times out of ten, the troubles of life are due to interpersonal relationships; and nine times out of ten, the troubles of interpersonal relationships are due to communication problems."
Language is the second business card of adults.
The talking man wins the world, and the man who can't talk loses to himself.
There is an old Chinese saying: there is a ruler on the mouth, and there is a road under the feet.
Give it a thumbs up, stay away from suicidal socializing, and be a gentle, courteous, generous and humble person.