A few days ago, I brushed a video in which violin master Zander is giving a guidance lesson to an Asian girl. After a class, the child's movements slowly unfolded.
But no matter how Zander guides him, the smile is never visible on the child's face.
At the end of the video, Zander found his mother sitting in the audience and asked her several questions in succession:
"Do you think your daughter is beautiful?"
"Do you think she plays the piano well?"
The girl's mother gave a negative answer to these questions.
The next scene is the most meaningful part of this video. Zander confessed to the girl's mother:
"I'm worried that it's hard for a child to smile at the moment, and I see your anxiety spreading through her. The only job for parents is to make their children jump around happily. The real transformation of today's lesson is not in the children, but in you..."
This is a lesson for girls' mothers and for all parents.
On the road of raising children, there are 5 mountains that parents can't get around:
Many people say that this is a time of national anxiety. As Zander says to the girl's mother in the video at the beginning of the article:
"You worry that the kids don't practice enough, and then they don't get into good schools, they can't find good jobs, and then they die."
A short sentence seems to be a joke, but in fact it reflects the anxiety in the hearts of many parents at present.
In fact, most of the anxiety comes from craving too much and focusing too little.
When you gaze into the child's clear eyes, when you see the smile on the child's face at this moment, when you feel the sunshine sprinkled on you at this time, when you focus on the current companionship, when you focus on the present, you will find that parenthood is actually the happiest "profession" in the world.
Communication is an art of communication and the most temperate discipline.
Socrates said, "Nature gives us one mouth and two ears, and it makes us talk less and listen more." ”
Wise parents know how to put themselves in their brains and put their children in their hearts before they open their mouths.
Someone said, "The power of listening is equivalent to a loving embrace." ”
Childhood communication is the source of children's sense of security throughout life, and if you want to communicate with children, you must first start by listening.
A few days ago, "Wei Yongkang passed away" became a hot search term on the whole network. Known as the "prodigy", he was able to read a thousand words at the age of 2, became a graduate student of the Chinese Academy of Sciences at the age of 17, was dissuaded by the school at the age of 20 because of "poor self-care ability in life", and died of illness at the age of 38.
His mother had regretted her own ordinary, in order to let the child complete her dream, except for studying, everything else was not touched by Wei Yongkang.
So that as an adult, he did not know how to undress when he was hot, he needed to be fed to eat, he needed to be called when he got up, and even exams and graduation thesis needed to be reminded by others.
Wei Yongkang's greatest misfortune was that he was too dependent on others, that he was a vassal of his parents, and that he had no self at all.
Making children adult and adult is a compulsory course for parents, and making children self-reliant and free is the highest level of parenting.
There is a passage in "Child, You Take Your Time":
"I sat on the stone steps in the slanting sun, looked at this child with clear eyes, and concentrated on doing something. Yes, I'm willing to wait a lifetime for him to tie this bow tie with ease, with his 5-year-old fingers. ”
Only by educating slower can we discern the road under our feet, and only then will we let the children gradually enter the better situation in their own time zone and rhythm.
"The years are long, the busy people promote themselves" Life has no road in vain, and smart parents never rush to achieve success, but slow themselves down and allow their children to take it slowly.
Parents and children are the first to end up pointing to two words – separation. When children fly higher and higher, it also means a little bit of separation from us.
When we exit the table, the child can learn to eat by himself; when we exit the bathroom, the child can learn to bathe himself; when we exit the desk, the child can learn independently...
With each withdrawal, the child is closer to independence.
There are no shortcuts to growth, and children who are held will never learn to walk.
Timely withdrawal is the last decency of parents, and it is also the most "far-reaching" parenting for children.
The love of parents for their children is the most beautiful emotion in the world. We have witnessed the growth of a life, and we have the warmest title of "dad, mom".
Children never belong to us, life is like a stranger, we guide them to learn to walk, and they let us flowers everywhere. Parents and children are actually a two-way success.
Parenthood is a journey of heart and wisdom. All the way up the stairs, some mountains must be bypassed, some mountains have to face difficulties, and those mountains that cannot be bypassed will eventually be cultivated into a path of light under their feet