Heidegger: Everything has time.
The finiteness of time, like a state of suspension, may fall at any time, but do not know when to fall.
So people developed a philosophy: living in the moment.
Does the phrase "live in the moment" offset the fear of death?
Psychologists are very concerned with this psychological mechanism of fighting the fear of death.
The psychology of resisting the fear of death
We already know in the psychology of fear management that there are three ways for people to fight the fear of death:
Intimacy, self-esteem, and worldview.
So how did the mechanism of intimacy against the fear of death come about?
The latest research suggests that there is also social support in the mechanism by which intimate relationships combat the fear of death.
First, let's look at intimacy. Now people use attachment types to measure intimacy.
There are four types of attachment:
Secure
Avoidance type
Anxiety type
Fearful type
This classification method has been recognized by the academic community and has also been widely used.
One might ask, which type of death fear is most effective?
Psychological research has shown that secure attachment is most effective in regulating fear of death.
Why is secure attachment most effective in regulating fear of death?
Anxious types often feel anxious in intimate relationships, and the emotion of fear of death is also anxiety, and humans, as highly intelligent beings, know that life is limited. The fear of death has always affected people's thinking, generating anxiety, and in order to resist this fear of death, human society has developed intimate relationships, self-esteem and worldview to counter the fear of death anxiety. If the individual has a lot of anxiety in itself, indicating that the intimate relationship is not good, then the anxiety against the fear of death is reduced by one-third. Think about it, if there is no family without love, is the world a lot less warm?
Of course, some people may say: I have a career, I have money and status, and I don't need love and affection.
Having a career and having money and status, belonging to self-esteem and worldview, are the two pillars of resistance to the fear of death. In the absence of intimacy, the fear of death can only be resisted by self-esteem and worldview, so we see that many successful and powerful people lack intimacy.
Therefore, for people who are insecure, it is necessary to increase social support, such as having good girlfriends, good friends, and good friends to resist the fear of death.
Psychological protection of adolescents
So, for teenagers, is there a similar need?
It is indeed necessary, we know, that the security of adolescents is related to the parenting of parents, and babies who are not well taken care of during infancy are likely to develop into insecure attachment types when they grow up. As mentioned earlier, intimacy is a very important psychological pillar against the fear of death. Therefore, for those teenagers who were not well taken care of when they were young, it is likely that they will have more emotional problems such as anxiety and depression when they grow up. In order to help these adolescents grow up healthily, families need to rethink whether the care and affection for adolescents is enough, whether more support is needed, and help from the perspective of adolescents, not from the perspective of parents themselves.
In a large number of cases, we see that the support given by parents to their children is not what children want, such as children have grown up, and parents are also overprotective and over-restrictive to their children, especially in the use of mobile phones and computers, which often become the fuse of struggle between parents and children.
In one counseling case, in order not to let the child use the mobile phone, the parent snatched the mobile phone with the child, resulting in a serious fight incident, causing a very large emotional injury to both parties.
With this article. Once again, for children, especially those who did not take good care of them when they were young, parents must reflect on their own behavior, rather than blindly asking children to do what they do and not do, and listen to what their children think. Try to provide as much support as your child needs.
The importance of couple support
For couples, it is also necessary to follow the above ideas, such as an anxious wife, the husband should do more support, rather than hiding far away because of the wife's anxiety, or reasonable "why do you lose your temper again", "how to always provoke it?" ”
In fact, for anxious wives, anxiety is difficult to digest themselves, many times, the need for husbands to help digest, and the husband to provide support, according to the requirements of the wife to do, it is possible to alleviate the wife's anxiety. Many people think that the wife's anxiety is a bad emotion, and the wife needs to control the emotions, or let the wife learn to grow on her own and become mature and stable. We believe that the husband's demands are excessive, and there is no such requirement for the wife to grow, and even if she grows, it is not a repression of emotions. The more support the husband has, it is possible for the wife to ease anxiety and be more emotionally stable. Of course, when I write this, a lot of my fellow men will stand up and say, ".
I'm also anxious, why should I support my wife? ”
In fact, our society still makes some basic agreements for men, that is to say, the social and cultural agreement on men is to be the backbone of the family. If the husband does not support the wife, then who will support the wife? Could it be a child? The child itself has no time to take care of itself, it is an individual who needs to be cared for and cultivated, how can the child provide support to the mother, if the child wants to provide support, then the child must bear the unbearable responsibility, how difficult should such a child growing environment be?
In short, mutual support in the family is very necessary, almost all families with good relations support each other, while families with bad relationships are busy and rarely communicate and help.