In the garage, the child saw a Tesla that opened the door on it, and was attracted by its cool way of opening the door, and his eyes could not leave for a long time. He walked past the Tesla and said, "Mom, why don't we buy a car like that?" ”
I thought, why, it's not that your mother is poor and can't afford it.
Although I was a little weak-minded, I still said to the child with a lot of positive energy, "That car is a bit expensive, it takes a lot of money to buy, if we want to buy that car, there is no money to buy other things..."
Before my voice could be heard, the child patted his chest and said, "Mom, when I grow up, I'll earn money to buy it for you!" So, a discussion I had envisioned about poverty and wealth ended in the child's inspirational and warm confession.
Although the discussion was over, the mystery in my heart did not stop. Should I discuss the family's financial situation with my children, should I talk about money? If so, in what way?
01
A change of mindset: Money is not the source of all evil
As the saying goes, "money is the source of all evil", but it is this source of all evil that many people pursue for life, looking forward, becoming everything looking at money.
Is money the source of all evil? Of course not, money is just a tool, and it does not have the attributes of good and evil in itself.
As Mrs. Tao Mu, who is wealthy in "Puppy Money Money," says, "Money is neutral, neither good nor bad." It only has an impact on a person when the money belongs to that person. A happy person will be happier with money, while a pessimistic and worried person, the more money there is, the more troubles there will be. ”
Some families, even if the family is not rich, in line with the purpose of "no longer bitter can not be bitter children", let the children continue to be "food and clothing" of the little emperor, repeatedly put forward excessive requirements to parents, buy the latest mobile phone, the latest sneakers;
Some families, in order to make children suffer, deliberately conceal the family's "ten thousand family wealth", just like Wang Sicong, by his father who "set a small goal and earn 100 million yuan first" to conceal the family's financial situation, until the age of 16, he did not know that his family was so rich, and instantly became a rich second generation.
Many parents feel that money is not a good thing, and children can protect their children by staying away from money as much as possible. But in fact, this practice of parents is actually harmful to children.
Julin Godfrey, a financial adviser in the United States, said, "When a child lives in this world, he will definitely see a variety of things on tv and tablets." If you fantasize about how you can protect your child, you must prepare your child, which is the best way to protect yourself. ”
Therefore, parents should prepare their children as soon as possible, learn to face money, learn to spend money, learn to plan their financial situation, establish a correct view of money, of course, the premise of establishing a correct view of money for children is that parents first have a correct view of money.
When the child asks a question related to the previous, parents should not escape, do not overreact, use some small skills, answer the child's question frankly, and guide the child to establish a correct view of money.
02
Answer your child's questions about "money" head-on
Susan Engel, a senior psychology lecturer at William College and an expert in curiosity by nature, points out that the personality trait of early childhood is the obsessive-compulsive psychology of having the answer, which is a strong urge to arrange and improve reality.
Therefore, do not avoid the child's problems, and even encourage the child to ask questions, and the process of asking questions is the process of children's thinking.
The process of answering children's questions is actually the process of parents transmitting money concepts and even values to their children. Children's questions may be strange, but regarding money, there is always no escape from these questions, "Is our family poor, is our family rich, how much does Dad make, how much does Mom make..."
Before answering the child's question, we must first understand the cause and effect of the child's question, different situations, and corresponding to different answering methods.
Universal sentence - "Why do you ask that?" ”
Why do you ask that? This universal sentence is the best sentence form for answering the question of money that american writer Ron Lieber has summed up after years of research on the cultivation of children's financial quotient. In fact, this sentence pattern is suitable not only for money-related problems, but also for any problems of children.
Asking children this song question can not only help parents understand the causes and consequences of children's doubts, facilitate specific analysis for specific situations, but also get a certain buffer time to organize language and think about how to answer children's questions. Many times, such a sentence can draw a lot of information.
The child may ask, "Is our family poor?" ”
There may be two reasons why a child has such a question:
The first category, occasional events, such as chatting with friends, or seeing related TV series, occasionally have questions;
The second category is that children may have heard their parents quarrel over money, which produces a certain fear, so they will ask the question "Is our family poor?".
Answer your child's questions honestly
Are we poor? If the family is still well-off and has no worries about food and clothing, parents do not need to be humble at all, and must say that they are very poor to guide their children to be diligent and thrifty. You can tell your child categorically, "Our family is not poor, because the poor can't afford to buy what they need, such as food and clothes." We have all of this, so we are not poor. ”
Of course, some parents will worry that if I say that my family is not poor, the child will ask, since I am not poor, why not buy me the latest toys.
This brings us to the deeper question of values. Buy a toy, how can you still get the value? In fact, the concept of money is a person's value.
03
To talk about money is to talk about values
What are values? Values are what you think is important. In Anti-Coddling, Ron Lieber says, "Questions about money are about values: pocket money is about patience, giving is about generosity, work is about perseverance, compromise or reconciling the difference between 'wanting' and 'needing' is about thrift and shrewdness." ”
Distinguish between "want" and "need"
Should I buy a toy? It's actually a trade-off between "wanting" and "needing."
Need, a necessity of life, is a necessity that must be bought. What you want, you can buy or not buy. How do you weigh whether you should buy it or not? In Anti-Coddling, Ron Lieber proposes to use the calculation of the "happiness-output ratio" to measure whether what you want is worth buying.
Simply put, spending a dollar on this item can keep your happiness for how long. The same is to spend 10 yuan, buy a balloon, may be fresh for 10 minutes and not play, buy a yo-yo, maybe you can play for a week. Through this comparison, children understand the meaning of spending money and learn to weigh what they want, whether it is worth buying or not.
The process of weighing is the process of comparison, the process of exploring one's own needs, the game of ideal and reality, and the process of making trade-offs.
Know how to cherish in the trade-offs
We can't have everything we want, it's all about trade-offs. Let children face trade-offs in the process of selection and learn to make trade-offs. Truly enjoyable by spending money on items or experiences that truly bring lasting happiness and memories.
Not only does the application of money need to be trade-offs, but also the use of time. There are only a limited 24 hours in a day, and each time period, when you do this, you can't do another thing. Let children understand the meaning of trade-offs in advance, understand the limited resources, and know how to cherish them in the trade-offs.
Only the last 100 yuan left, buy toys, or play games? There are only 30 minutes left before going to bed, watching cartoons, or reading a book, or chatting with Mom and Dad?
These are the choices a child may face, and to choose one, one must give up the other. What to take and what to give up requires the child to make his own choices. In order to obtain it, it is necessary to give up, so that children can cherish what they get, so for money, and so on time.
The child's view of money and the cultivation of values are not achieved overnight, nor can they be epiphany after the child grows up. Dare to talk about money with your child, and discuss money with your child frankly and openly, is a good start.
With money, you can buy what you want to buy, you can make life happier, in order to achieve your dreams, to work hard to make money, is full of positive energy inspirational stories, nothing to be ashamed to talk about.
When the child asks if he has money or not, when the child wants to buy the gift of his choice, he may wish to calm down and think about it:
How to let the child's problem become the key to open the education of the concept of money, let the child contact money when he is still a child, understand money, understand how to spend money, how to choose, to avoid him from becoming "financial illiterate" when he grows up.
Maybe in the near future, we will become the fathers and mothers of the rich generation?