Text | Kale
Source 丨 Ten Point Reading (ID:duhaoshu)
A few days ago, a video of "Chongqing women angrily cut more than ten sets of wedding dresses in a wedding dress shop" rushed to the hot search.
The woman originally paid a deposit of 3500 yuan at the wedding dress shop, but because she was pregnant, she wanted to return the deposit.
Unable to negotiate with the merchant, the woman took the scissors and cut 32 wedding dresses in the store.
In the video, the owner of the wedding dress shop reminded her while filming: "A set of wedding dresses is thousands, think clearly." ”
The woman replied, "Thousands and tens of thousands." ”
The store said that the cut wedding dress was bought for a total of 67,400 yuan.
Some people questioned that in the process of cutting the woman's wedding dress, the store not only did not stop it, but also took a video to stimulate the anger of the other party, and the store responded that because the other party was pregnant and held scissors in her hand, she did not dare to forcibly stop it.
Afterwards, the woman apologized to the store, but the amount was too large, and the woman was suspected of deliberately destroying public and private property, and the police had intervened.
One conflict, two reactions, with very different results.
For the store, in the face of customers holding scissors, one does not move, two do not quarrel, three do not block, directly take out the mobile phone to take photos and evidence, not only to ensure their own life safety, but also to protect their own property, but also fulfilled the obligation to remind.
For pregnant women, although they vent their anger for a while, they face the cost of compensation and even imprisonment.
Some people speculate that after the woman's husband discovers her reckless personality, it is likely that he will reconsider the marriage and whether it is necessary to continue.
Venting for a while, the price is secretly marked with the price tag.
Adults are responsible not only for their own words and actions, but also for their emotions.
There were two videos that took place at the airport last year, in stark contrast.
Planes were delayed, passengers had to spend the night at the airport, and the scene was chaotic.
But a girl confronted the airline staff and expressed her grievances and demands in a reasonable and methodical manner.
She first quoted laws and regulations: according to the laws and regulations of civil aviation, flight delays and cancellations caused by airlines can be refunded and changed free of charge, and the economic compensation that should be given to everyone must also be given.
She then pointed out what the airlines mishandled: As soon as the passengers got off the plane, the airlines asked an employee who had no say in informing the passengers, indicating the airline's perfunctory attitude towards the passengers.
Finally, she put forward the appeal: first, the air conditioning at the airport is now off, it is very hot, and it is necessary to solve the problem of food and accommodation; second, due economic compensation; third, to assist everyone to refund and change visas for free; fourth, arrange make-up flights.
The boy in another video, who also suffered a plane delay, had no choice but to shout at the airline staff: I want to fly, I have to fly.
Netizens in the comment area joked: "Give him a kite and let him fly." ”
Two stories vividly illustrate a person's ability to control emotions, that is, his maturity and ability to deal with things, you can never beat an emotionally stable person.
Once they can't control their emotions, people who make radical moves are called "garbage people".
Emotionally, shouting, smashing objects, and even attacking other people, regardless of the occasion.
The reason why they choose this way to vent is because they can't control their emotions, and the other is because he doesn't have the ability to deal with problems and emotions, and can only use these extreme ways to attract the attention of others and blackmail others to solve their own problems.
After causing irreparable consequences, they will throw the "pot" on the emotional head.
"I didn't mean it, I was mad at the time."
"When everyone can't control themselves, understand each other."
Unfortunately, the consequences of many out-of-control emotions cannot be tolerated and understood.
Junichi Watanabe wrote a story in Blunt Force.
The hospital where he interned had a skilled doctor whose only drawback was that he liked to constantly blame his subordinates during the operation.
"Hands and feet are too slow", "Hurry up, hold firmly", "Where do you look at your eyes?" ”......
Many young interns were nervous when they heard about his involvement in his surgery.
The professor's first assistant, Dr. S, was reprimanded the most.
But no matter what the professor said, Dr. S's answer was the same, always repeating softly twice: "Yes, yes." ”
At the end of the operation, he forgot all about the reprimand during the operation, took a comfortable bath, and continued to talk and laugh with his colleagues.
In this way, Dr. S became the fastest surgically improved among his peers.
Zeng Shiqiang, who served as a lecturer at the "Hundred Tribunes", believes that anger, depression and anxiety are a kind of human reaction to the environment, and there is no distinction between good and bad, but there is a distinction between rationality and irrationality.
Traffic jams on the road, everyone is in a hurry, there is a car that is not caught in a hurry, you get angry, these are rational emotions.
But if you are suddenly feeling that the things you encounter today are not going well, is it god who is working against me, the more you think about it, the more angry you are, from anger to irritability, you will enter irrational emotions.
Rational emotions are people's instinctive reactions based on the situation they encounter, while irrational emotions are emotions that arise after exaggerating facts and generalizing them.
For example, if a small thing is not done well, it will rise to "I can't even do this kind of small thing, what future can I have?" ”
The child did not do well in the test, and the parents blurted out: "Why are you so stupid?" You can't learn anything! ”
In the midst of irrational emotions, people's pressure will become greater and greater, and their emotions will collapse more and more tightly, and a small thing may stimulate him to make irrational behavior.
Lisa Federman Barrett, president of the American Psychological Science Association, believes that a person's emotions are more important than his cognition.
She wrote in "Emotions" that most cognitions believe that hard work, healthy eating, hard work, saving money, going to bed early and getting up early are the things that should be done, and they are also more responsible for themselves, but most people cannot stick to this life.
We will focus on the phone, not on learning and improving skills;
At present, we will covet a momentary pleasure and forget about the health problems that may occur in the future.
Rationally speaking, if we can achieve our goals by sticking to a healthy lifestyle and actively learning, why can't most people still do it?
The reason lies in emotions.
Many people think that the best way to refuse to eat another piece of chocolate cake, refuse to spend your salary on impulse consumption, and refuse to play with your phone at the time when you should be working is to let yourself know the consequences of doing so and make rational choices.
But such a strategy usually doesn't work because you can't control your emotional need to satisfy immediately.
So Lisa Federman argues that the secret to success is not that we know what is right, but that we can use our emotions to achieve our goals.
No one's life is smooth sailing, living in the crowd, always angry for all kinds of people and things.
You may be angry that you are not valued, angry at the stupidity of others, angry at not being understood, angry at your own weaknesses and faults...
But does the result of anger help solve the problem, or does it create a new problem for yourself?
If we can think of this when we are emotionally focused, we can slowly change our ability to manage and control emotions.
Author: Kale blue, should have nothing to dwell in, but give birth to its heart. Source: Ten O'Clock Reading (ID: duhaoshu), late at night ten o'clock, accompany you to read, a good life. Good book/story/american text/radio/aesthetics. Reading has a way to publish articles with authorization.
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