"I love you ~~~~"
"Me too!"
When I got off work, I saw a couple shouting at each other on both sides of the secluded road. Seeing me pass, the girl bowed her head with some embarrassment. But in my heart I was secretly rejoicing:
This kind of love that comes and goes and echoes each other is really good.
The true meaning of love is that two people have a common soul, and communication and response are the beginning of soul fit.
So what kind of communication is good?
The simplest thing is that when the other person speaks, you have to have a response. In other words, there must be an "adaptive" relationship between you.
Responsive relationships are often built on your attachment to each other. These attachments are mainly manifested in these aspects:
The emotional connection between you is deep;
When you are lost, the other party will definitely respond;
Show your support to your partner so that he will be better and his home will be better.
A good love relationship is based on these three points, as long as a benign mutual response mechanism is established, your communication will not be a problem.
I've talked about how to make you more understanding. It is said that empathy means two aspects:
1. Be good at listening.
2, good at placing each other's emotions.
In fact, empathy is also a "response" to the partner. And these responses will increase your emotional concentration as never before.
So, today, I'm going to teach you the first "way of responding." Help everyone and their partner to increase their emotional concentration.
Understand his subtext
Many girls say backstage:
"My husband is not happy, I went to comfort him, but the effect is always very poor, he always said that I don't understand him, how can I understand him?"
What does it mean to understand a man?
It is nothing more than knowing how to respond to men. And the best way to answer a man is to understand his subtext.
Because when you understand a man's subtext, in the eyes of a man, it is equivalent to you understanding his whole person.
How to understand his subtext? The answer lies in the key word law.
I went straight to a small theater:
For example, at 12 o'clock in the evening, the man comes home and says to you:
"Today I worked overtime until 12 o'clock, exhausted, and didn't eat. I have been changing the plan, changed more than a dozen versions, and the leaders are not satisfied. ”
If you just read through it and read that he's complaining about being too hard, you might immediately reply: "Don't be discouraged, come on." ”
But this response is very much like a "group" message. A man will feel that his emotions are not being put in place.
If you use the keyword method, you will find that everything is different, you can quickly choose a little from the man's words, make an extended reply, and make the man have a feeling that you especially understand him.
For example, in the sentence just now, "tired, busy, no meal, leader is not satisfied, plan, temporary notice" is a few keywords, when you reply to "tired", you can say:
"You are a very enterprising person, and I have always admired you in this regard, but I feel very sad that you are affected."
When you reply to "no meals", you can say:
"How about not eating for a day?" I really feel sorry for you. I'll order you a takeaway now, just your favorite braised pork ribs, and you'll have to finish it in a minute. ”
When you reply to the "leader is not satisfied", you need to pay attention to the fact that when complaining about the boss's pickiness, he is actually questioning whether his ability is competent for this job.
So, you can complain to him twice when he's angry:
"Yes, you're right! How could they do this! ”
After a while, you're going to say:
"I've always felt that your ability is fine, he can't use people."
That way, the man will feel like your response is "get him".
Every day, an emotional trick that is ready to learn and use
When praising men, how to look distracted?
1, when praising men, do not detract from yourself. For example: "You know a lot, it's not like I don't know anything." ”
Try not to say this type of thing, there is no need to put yourself down so low.
2, praise people's new formula: describe the specific scene + the other party specifically for you to do + the other party's specific advantages + your feelings. Like what:
"I was almost tortured to death by this matter before, and I have been unable to solve it, but honey, you are also too powerful, and it takes no effort to settle it." It feels like you're by my side, and I don't have to worry about anything. ”