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I envy Wang Zengqi's gardenia flowers, which are desperate to bloom warmly and fragrantly. But after so many years, people still aimed their guns at a certain flower that bloomed different colors. In 2012, a fire broke out in an old residential area on Weixian Road in Qingdao, which only burned down an old house. At that time, a local news program in Qingdao called "Life Online" came to the scene of the fire and interviewed the residents of the community. However, such a seemingly ordinary news has spread all over the country from Qingdao. Because the family that was burned down is really strange in the eyes of the public.
A middle-aged man over fifty years old, but wearing a gorgeous flower skirt. The face with heavy makeup seems to have been smeared by an oil painting. The man appeared in the camera hesitantly, repeating in his mouth, "I put out the fire before leaving, I obviously extinguished the fire." "Her house has been burned beyond recognition, but the neighbors don't care and even try to use this as a reason to force her to leave the place." Her name is Liu Peilin, known as "Big Brother". Her unusual attire has undoubtedly become the focus of the whole news. Finally, the host ended the show with a meaningful sentence: "What's going on, I want to ask more than just about the fire." "From then on, the fire was extinguished, but the man was on fire. Netizens were amused by her dress, saying that she was "the biggest miracle in history". The dress of big red and green is really festive, which is also the source of the name "Big Brother". Next, the crowd began to look at everything about "Big Brother" with a curious eye, as if all her experiences had been labeled differently. Today we will talk about her story.
It seems that from birth, the gray tone of Liu Peilin's fate has been laid. At the age of three, she was abandoned at the train station by her biological father. In the diary, she wrote: "My father was drunk and abused, and my mother committed suicide by throwing herself into a well in one breath. The disheartened father, after giving away all his children, lost his voice, and he was wrapped in a quilt and thrown to the train station. When she was separated from her biological parents, Liu Peilin was still young, so these so-called "pasts" are actually all from hearsay, the authenticity is unknown, but it is also the only "connection" she has with her biological family. Liu Peilin's date of birth on her ID card is February 16, 1956, and whether this day is her real birthday is unknown.
Her understanding of home comes entirely from her adoptive parents. That year, her adoptive mother found her at the train station, and although she already had seven sons in the family, the kind adoptive mother decided to take her back. Since then, her adoptive parents have treated her as if she were her own. When she grew up, she listened to her adoptive mother recall that she thought she could not feed her, but she did not expect to grow up in the blink of an eye. Because the family already has 7 sons, having a daughter has always been the wish of adoptive parents. When Liu Peilin was a child, her adoptive mother would often wear her beautiful skirts, exquisite cloth shoes, and sometimes tie her small braids. I don't know if it is because of these experiences, Liu Peilin, who grew up, still loves women's clothing, and was later forcibly changed by his adoptive mother. She recalled that when she was 9 years old, when she participated in the literary festival, she was very envious when she saw the little girls around her dressed up in flowers. When she returned home, she secretly wore her adoptive mother's clothes. At that time, looking at myself in women's clothes in the mirror, it was like an electric current, very comfortable.
During his school years, Liu Peilin's grades have always been among the best. But in that era, like many other children, eating and surviving was a more important priority than education, and Liu Peilin was pushed into society after barely completing junior high school. But she was still grateful to her adoptive parents for educating her. Whenever he talked about this matter, Liu Peilin felt sweet. However, fate did not let her go.
● Life-threatening
After leaving school, Liu Peilin was assigned to work in a garment factory. In the late 1990s, in the wave of layoffs that shocked the whole country, Liu Peilin was laid off.
At that time, Liu Peilin, who had just passed the age of establishment, felt that he was still a "young and middle-aged laborer", so he went to the construction site and prepared to work as a coolie to make a living. But within a few months, she was tripped and on her way to get a salary. In order to get back that meager salary, Liu Peilin and the construction site owner launched a protracted battle. The co-workers who had originally agreed to discuss the case together gave up because they could not see hope, but she was still insisting. Later, the "argument" became "beaten by the group", and in the end she still did not get a penny, and the pain became her only "reward" for this job. There was no hope of doing coolies, and Liu Peilin tried various jobs such as delivering newspapers, setting up stalls, being a waiter, and delivering gas cans. Once, she installed a cooling tower on the construction site in Qingdao's Chengyang District, and without paying attention to stepping on the scaffolding, she fell from the eighth floor with a board, causing concussion and hospitalization for several months, but the boss refused to pay the arrears of hospitalization fees, there was no way, and finally she could only slip away from the hospital. Another time, when she went to deliver gas, the back brake of the rickshaw carrying the gas canister suddenly broke and hit a moving bus head-on. The tricycle crashed, and the bumper of the bus was also knocked off, and he was later sentenced to full responsibility for the accident. In Liu Peilin's own words, "Life is quite hard, and several accidents have not been finished." ”
Not long after Liu Peilin's adoptive father died of illness, his adoptive mother was also diagnosed with cancer. Her seven older brothers already had their own lives and ignored their adoptive mother. When the adoptive mother's illness was found, it was already at an advanced stage. The doctor asked her if she would be cured or not. Liu Peilin thought about it for a moment and finally nodded vigorously. From hospitalization to nursing, she did not calculate how much money was spent, only remembered that the hospital wanted, she gave, there was no money in her pocket to borrow, and then step by step to the point of selling the house. When they were young, their family of ten lived in an old building of tens of square meters, although crowded, but also really carried some family warmth. Nowadays, to sell the house, Liu Peilin still has a lot of reluctance. Because of the rush to use the money, Liu Peilin's price for the old house is not high, but on the day of the house transfer, she only received a down payment of 100,000 yuan from the buyer, she asked what about the rest of the money? The other party lied that he would give it after completing the formalities, and the result was that he disappeared from then on. She also thought about using legal means to defend her rights, but she did not find an intermediary, did not even sign a contract, and could not even talk about evidence by the sale of one mouth, and she gave up thinking of it. Borrowing money and selling the house, Liu Peilin tried her best to continue her adoptive mother's life for four and a half months, and her home was gone.
After the death of their adoptive mother, the previous brothers who had no news of each other did not know where to get the news, and one by one they found Liu Peilin. When they learned that Liu Peilin had sold the house, they angrily asked her where the money had gone. Liu Peilin explained this for some time, and the brothers still turned against each other for this.
After the death of his adoptive mother, Liu Peilin was once devastated. Someone suggested that she should find a partner or start a family. After being introduced by a friend, Liu Peilin met a single mother. Because of some intellectual deficiencies, women have problems with both speech and self-care. At first, Liu Peilin was a little hesitant, but when she learned that the other party did not want a bride price, no house, no car, just wanted to find someone to take care of her, Liu Peilin agreed, because she was actually just looking for a companion. After marriage, she also took her daughter-in-law to several hospitals, worried about curing her illness, but the doctors said that this problem, not cured, is estimated to be stupid for a lifetime. After making up for a while, Liu Peilin found that she really couldn't control her daughter-in-law, no matter what she stuffed into her mouth, and ran to the hospital every day. Liu Peilin moved the idea of divorce, and the woman's family happily agreed. In this way, Liu Peilin hastily ended her only marriage.
There is another theory about Liu Peilin's marriage: some people say that her family was originally happy and happy, and she and her wife had a daughter. But the day did not follow people's wishes, the wife witnessed her daughter's car accident and died, began to be insane, and finally ran away from home, with no news. For these different statements, Liu Peilin himself has only vaguely said a few words, and the information is scattered to piece together a complete story. No one knows the truth of the matter, and we only see Liu Peilin, who is alone.
The marriage seemed to have become the last straw that crushed Liu Peilin. In order to treat her adoptive mother, Liu Peilin owed 150,000 foreign debts, in order to repay the debt, Liu Peilin began to pick up waste, and also began to respect her heart, wearing the women's clothes she had in mind. Her parents are gone, her brothers are broken, and her marriage is over, and Liu Peilin feels that it is time to face her true self, because there is no one else in her world.
● Unexpected popularity
Although it is to pick up waste, but before going out every time, Liu Peilin will carefully dress up, smear the cosmetics she picked up, put on the dress she picked up, and tie a ponytail, which is the only thing in life that can make her happy.
In the tenth year of showing people in women's clothing, Liu Peilin met a mute. That afternoon, she was in the alley in front of the residence collecting the waste she had picked up earlier. Suddenly a man hugged her tightly from behind, and she angrily turned back to ask the other party what he was doing, only to find that the other party was dumb. Dumb wrote a line on the paper, "I appreciate you. At that moment, Liu Peilin was stunned. For the first time in so many years, someone offered to make friends with her. Soon, Liu Peilin and Mut began to live together. Dumb can not speak, the conversation between the two depends on comparison, Liu Peilin does not understand sign language, often can only speculate on dumb body movements, or let dumb write down what he wants to say. Although there are communication barriers, the dumb still brings Liu Peilin a full sense of security. Liu Peilin said that as soon as the dumb man got the money, he would buy food and drink at home, and would also buy some cosmetics and clothes for Liu Peilin. The appearance of the dumb made Liu Peilin once again long for stability. They also deliberately took a set of wedding photos, and Liu Peilin said that this was the only witness to that relationship. Unfortunately, when moving, the photo was lost, so Liu Peilin was still pregnant for a long time.
One day two years later, the mute suddenly disappeared without warning. Later, Liu Peilin learned that the dumb man had caused trouble and was locked up. As for what happened, where she was locked up, and whether she would regain her freedom, she didn't know anything. It was hard to rekindle the enthusiasm for life, and once again it collapsed. Since then, Liu Peilin has never dared to ask for anything. She wrote in her diary: "There were once two people in this world who loved me, the first was a mother, the second was dumb, and living with them was my happiest day. But now they're all gone. The mother here, of course, refers to her adoptive mother.
The moment the dumb disappeared, Liu Peilin's world seemed to have come to an end, and the last person who remembered her was gone. No one cared what her name was, who she was, and the neighbors only thought she was a monster, a "ragged psycho." Until the fire in 2012, Liu Peilin was pushed to the cusp of public opinion, and this time she became the big brother in people's mouths. After the "Fire News", Daxi Brother was invited to participate in a program of Shandong Television Station", "Please Forgive Me".
In the show, she apologized to the creditors and promised that even if it was difficult, she would insist on repaying the money. Maybe it's for political correctness, maybe it's to match the slogan on the promo: the end of an online "strange thing". At the end of the show, the director team set up a link to let Daxi Brother return to men's clothing. Liu Peilin stood on the stage helpless. The female host saw that she was a little embarrassed, and specially helped her round the field and said: "If you change into men's clothes, it will definitely be even hotter than now, you don't mind men dressing up as women, are you still afraid of wearing back normal men's clothes, come and come, big brother don't be shy!" The atmosphere was stirred up to the heat, and everyone on and off the stage was cheering, only Liu Peilin was getting more and more cramped. The program team did not give her time to speak and think, she was pushed and shoved, standing in the largest aperture in the center of the stage, and completed the transformation of the program group.
He changed into decent men's clothes and put on a hat to cover his long hair. In the eyes of everyone, Liu Peilin at this time looked much more "normal", and no one cared about the tears that appeared in the corners of her eyes. She never understood that turning her into a "normal" man was the happy ending for everyone. Why wasn't she happy at all? Maybe she didn't figure it out, and it didn't matter if she was happy or not.
After the show, she went to the program team and wanted to get her clothes back, but she didn't expect the director to pat her on the shoulder and say to her: Clothes? I don't know, they probably threw it away, you can wear this back, no thanks. Then he added: You are assured, on our show, you will be more popular, when the time to buy what clothes do you not have, do you still care about these rags?
But Daxi Brother may never have thought of red, and this so-called "red" made her life worse. Every day they are surrounded by a large number of journalists, interviewed, photographed. The reports didn't bring her any extra income, and she wasn't paid to even participate in "Please Forgive Me." She no longer had time to scavenging, and she was not even guaranteed three meals a day. On the contrary, the people around her once thought that she had made a fortune, and the brothers who did not interact with each other began to contact her again, and the landlord also knocked on the side, implicitly and implicitly hinting at the rent increase.
In 2016, Liu Peilin, who was already sixty years old, finally paid off all the arrears. She wrote excitedly in her diary: Mom, I finally paid off all the money! But in the same year, the landlord had raised the rent to a level she couldn't afford. Even if she went out at dawn to pick up scraps and ate only one steamed bun a day, there was still no way to save enough rent. Liu Peilin was thrown out, and clothes and cosmetics were thrown directly into the street. Cornered, she remembered a kind man who had said he was willing to help her, Mr. Zhao. She opened the diary, found Mr. Zhao's contact information, and dialed the phone.
● Cold and warm rooms
On the day of the meeting with Mr. Zhao, Liu Peilin deliberately put on her favorite red dress, and tied a pink ribbon on each braid, which was the most formal and solemn dress she thought. But Mr. Zhao said straight to the point: I can help you, but there are two conditions, first, cut off long hair and take off women's clothes. Second, you are not allowed to pick up garbage. Liu Peilin was stunned, like a overwhelmed child, and she nodded reluctantly. Accompanied by Mr. Zhao, Liu Peilin cut off the long hair that had been left for more than ten years, and at that moment she felt as if something in her body had been violently withdrawn. She comforted herself and said that her hair and clothes are a layer of skin, and if you pick it up, you will pick it up.
Then Liu Peilin moved into the apartment that Mr. Zhao had arranged for her. According to the original plan, after cutting off the long hair, Mr. Zhao would go with her to apply for a new ID card and credit card, and arrange a job for her, but at this moment, Mr. Zhao suddenly disappeared. A few days later, Liu Peilin was evicted by the apartment property on the grounds that it would "scare the children". Later, she learned that this so-called well-wisher just wanted to repackage her and use her fame to make money. Mr. Zhao is gone. Long hair was gone, and women's clothes were gone. Liu Peilin was full of joy and was beaten back to his original form. She returned to the room hidden in the deepest part of Qingdao's old street hutong, and resumed her life of scavenging and women's clothing. Sometimes she would occasionally be recognized by passers-by, who asked her, "Brother Daxi?" Don't you "convert" without wearing women's clothes? Liu Peilin could only smile helplessly.
Because there was no electricity at home, she could only live a life of sunrise and sunset, and every morning at 5:30 a.m., it was time for her to get up and freshen up. From "too small to understand" to self-repression after growing up, the emotion of wanting to become a woman has always been wrapped in Liu Peilin's male body. She is particularly fond of beauty and is willing to spend all her savings just to make a cheongsam of her own. However, most of her flower skirts were picked up, and some were donated by volunteers. Even though there are not many options, every morning before going out, she will still carefully match and try to find a balance and harmony in clothes, shoes and jewelry. It was also the time of the day when she smiled the most.
In March 2019, Liu Peilin decided to leave Qingdao. As for where she was going, whether she was still scavenging for a living, whether she was still wearing women's clothes, no one knew or cared. The "big brother" who was very popular disappeared in the tide of traffic. The last time she was discussed on a large scale by the public was in early 2019. A group of enthusiastic volunteers want to give an interview to "Big Brother" and set up a charity foundation "Joy Public Welfare" in her name, which aims to help people who are in difficulty in life and marginalized people like Big Brother. But whenever money is involved, there will be voices of doubt. There are concerns that "the usefulness of the donation is unknown." In order to clean up, Liu Peilin took the initiative to terminate these donation activities, and issued a statement saying: "I personally like women's clothing, prefer to be a woman, this is my lifelong pursuit, blameless, but it is those villains who can be blamed." ”
The essayist Liu Liangcheng once said, "The snow that falls in a person's life, we can't see it all." Everyone spends the winter alone in their own lives. This sentence was appropriately placed on Liu Peilin. The public only sees her weirdness, but they can't see the beauty in her.
In 2016, under the overpass next to the Qingdao long-distance bus station, she encountered a drunkard lying on the side of the road, and she was afraid that the passing vehicles would roll over the drunk, so she called the police and waited next to her. Nearly a child, the police came and asked her with a straight face: Did you call the police? Liu Peilin said yes. The police then got the drunk into the car and drove away. She remembered the drunkard "humming" dismissively at her before he got into the car. Another time, when she was playing at the beach, she saw an eleven- or twelve-year-old girl struggling in the sea, Liu Peilin went to the sea to save the girl with her dog planing, but as a result, she also did not get a thank you from the girl's family. There are also so-called well-meaning netizens who have found psychological experts and come to Liu Peilin to do psychological counseling. Although he thought it was particularly ridiculous, Liu Peilin accepted the guidance of the psychologist in his sixties and wrapped her dumplings.
A few days later, the expert sent her a three-and-a-half-page A4 summary letter, which read: This is an individual case, not bad in itself, likes to be a woman since childhood, has no other intentions and ideas, and has no criminal record.
Liu Peilin also likes to read, and his favorite writers are Lao She and Ba Jin. She felt that those writings about human suffering resonated. The pain of reality leaves her with nowhere to run away and to seek solace in books. Since his youth, Liu Peilin has insisted on writing a diary, writing more than 400 books for ten years. There are her feelings in the diary, there are life trivia, and there are her little secrets. At the end of 2019, some volunteer friends raised funds to organize and publish Liu Peilin's diary into a memoir, "My Life". After leaving Qingdao for more than half a year, she returned to her hometown with her new books for a sharing meeting. She stepped onto the stage and shook hands with everyone one by one. The audience chanted her name: Old Liu, Sister Liu, Aunt Liu. This time, no one called her Big Brother. Liu Peilin said that she especially liked the name Liu Jie, appeared young, and pointed out gender.
In March 2021, Liu Jie wore a pink fur coat and delicate makeup to participate in a special group catwalk. The organizers presented her awards to her for her contributions to minorities. This time, the whole audience cheered for Sister Liu, no ridicule, no sarcasm, and no one wanted to reform her. She waited a full 65 years for this day.
The progress of civilization should not only be a new iPhone, or PS5, but also when filling in personal information, the gender column, in addition to men and women other options. Acknowledging that homosexuality is not a disease, we spent nearly a century. On October 27, 2021, the United States issued its first non-binary gender passport. Although it is only a small X on the gender column of the passport, it has extraordinary significance. It represents that in the past we saw the other as no longer the other, and everyone has the right to choose their own life and gender.
Someone said, "A person's preconceptions are a mountain, and the difference is her original sin." "But who in this world is exactly the same as who?" If you can't like it, you can try to understand, even if you can't understand, at least you can respect it. The strangeness and disorder in Liu Peilin's body are her contest with the times and destiny. I hope that thousands of Liu Peilin can be accepted a little bit in the future, and can no longer be lonely.