It is really simple to want children to be proactive, and parents learn this trick, and the effect is immediate
Parents who are truly emotionally intelligent will not urge their children to do things one by one
Instead, it will guide the child to be proactive in doing things on their own
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After a few years with the baby, I originally felt that my temper had been almost worn out
But since my son went to school, I realized that I was still not calm enough
After elementary school, everything is different from kindergarten
The child's homework suddenly increased, and every day when I came home from school, it was already five or six o'clock in the evening
When you get home, things are even more
There is homework in mathematics, homework in Chinese, and physical exercise every day
It's almost like a war, and no one can be slackened
What's even more exhausting is that my son is young after all
As long as you don't supervise and don't urge, this child will not take the initiative to do homework
Either one person picks up a picture book and looks at it with relish, or hides in his room playing with Lego bricks
In short, it is a fantasy to expect him to learn on his own
Even sometimes, you call him to study, and he will drag his feet
Shouting urgently, he also complained
"It's so tiring to study for a day, Mom, you can't let me rest for a while."
To be honest, who doesn't feel sorry for the child, I also want him to play for a while and rest for a while
But time doesn't allow it!
Eating, writing homework, physical exercise, things are too many to count, and sometimes it's time to go to bed in the blink of an eye
If he is late, he will worry that he will not be able to get up the next day, which will affect the learning status during the day
So I had to force myself to urge him
The result is that the child is tired, I am tired, and I am physically and mentally exhausted every day
Until one day I met a friend
When I chatted with each other, I found that other people's children were really more proactive, and I was really envious and crying
But my friend told me
"In fact, I also experienced your stage, and later I found that instead of urging children, it is still necessary to let children exert subjective initiative."
I quickly asked, how can this subjective initiative be brought into play?
So the friend told me the following words
I'm sharing these words with you today, and I hope they will help you as well
01
I think a lot of people have had that experience
When many things come together, if you don't have a clear plan, it is easy to crash headless flies
Become busy, until the last thing to achieve nothing, people are still very tired
Conversely, if you can plan your time wisely, think clearly about the rhythm and steps of doing things
Then no matter how complicated things are, they will also be caught. Done methodically
Many parents in life see that their children are tight on time and heavy tasks
It is easy to be anxious and uneasy inside, and will only follow behind to urge the child
But I forget that doing so will only increase the pressure on the child, but it will not really solve the problem
In fact, the best way is to help children develop a practical learning and life plan
For example, in the first half hour of coming home from school, we can let the child continue to maintain a state of learning
Instead of going to play or lying down to rest
On the one hand, this regulation can help children complete their homework in advance
On the other hand, it will also give children a psychological presupposition, that is, not to go home means that they can rest
In this way, children can form a good understanding of learning
In addition, at what point in time and what homework to be completed, it is also necessary to plan in advance
In this way, once the time comes to the appointment, the child will naturally do things
And once the efficiency is improved, it means that the child has more free time to arrange
At this time, for children, why not enjoy it
02
Whether we are adults or children, what do we crave most?
I think if you ask this question, I think more than half of the people will tell you that it is freedom
Yeah, who wouldn't want to schedule their own time
Who wouldn't want the freedom to do something they love?
For children, when the plan is made
On the first day, you may still need to supervise the implementation, and the second day, the third day, the situation may not change
However, once the child does things according to the plan every day, it improves the efficiency of learning
I also have more time to do what I want to do
Then for them, it is an invisible reward
As the saying goes, "There will be brave men under the heavy reward"
Since the child desires freedom so much, when he carries out the plan, he fulfills this desire
Then next, his execution will only get stronger and stronger
Like my son, on my first day helping him execute a plan together
He still needs me to shout
But as soon as he came home from school the next day, he picked it up and did it himself, and he went to do his homework
When I set the meal, my son proudly boasted
"Mom, I've finished my math homework, I'm awesome."
At this time, I also happily encouraged him
"It's really good, I think we can read picture books together today"
In this way, the son is more and more active day by day
Many times, without my urging, the child himself goes into the room to study
03
Many parents have to say at this time, I also made plans, but the child insisted on not doing it for a few days
The effect really doesn't work
Seriously, how to arrange time, this question is actually not simple
Parents must grasp the priorities and take care of the growth rules of their children
Otherwise, it is no wonder that the child will give up halfway
For example, for children before elementary school
They have more time, and their cohesion and thinking ability are weaker
At this time, the parents' schedule can not be too tight
Just take it easy, be a little free, and make a rough plan
Like my son,000, he was able to read and play games in the morning
In the afternoon, I painted, listened to some nursery rhymes, English nursery rhymes, etc
In addition, I read picture books every day before napping and going to bed at night
In this way, the child will not only learn something, but also will not be too tired, nor will he be bored with learning in advance
There are some parents who compete for their children before kindergarten
I also wish they would never forget it, and they would recognize it when they saw it
So I bought a lot of books and enrolled in various early education classes, and as a result, the children could not withstand the pressure, of course, they could not persist
For children after elementary school
At this time, their homework is heavy and their time is more tight
If you procrastinate again, it will not only delay the child's learning, but also develop bad learning habits
At this time, the parents' time schedule should focus on learning
At the same time, children in this period of time already have self-awareness, so when making schedules and study plans
Parents also need to involve their children
Then the children will feel from the root that this is something they are going to do on their own initiative
And when the child is lazy, parents can also use this to motivate him
Also, when the child really did it
Parents should also give encouragement and affirmation in a timely manner
In this way, the child will develop a kind of self-confidence and enhance his internal drive
Because for children, what they want most is the recognition and acceptance of their parents
And once the child is able to stick to it effectively
Over time, children's habits are formed
At this time, you don't have to say too much, and the child will be the first to do it
It is called habit into nature
Like myself for so many years, every day I have to do a while to read
Otherwise, even if it is late, it always feels as if something has not been done, resulting in unable to sleep
The same is true for children
Children who are accustomed to reading picture books and listening to stories every day often need to read a few pages and listen to a few paragraphs before they fall asleep
And children who are accustomed to exercising, if they don't exercise for a day, they will also be uncomfortable
As a parent, if you want to cultivate your child's subjective initiative, you must do a good job of time planning and reasonably arrange your child's schedule
So as to help children develop good living and learning habits
In this way, without you bothering to say much, the child will consciously and self-discipline to complete well
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