Friends since ancient times are considered to be the most important resources in real life, the so-called multiple friends have multiple roads, and many friends mean that they will not be alone when they need help.
Just like Stella in the TV series "Perfect Relationship", when she wants to divorce her scumbag husband, her friends are helping her, liquidating the marital property, and letting the scumbag who betrayed Stella clean up.
In this way, you can see the power of your friends.
Therefore, in our traditional conception, it is believed that a person with friends is good.
If there is not even a true friend, then this person is too pitiful, and even people will think that there is a problem with the character, so they are not willing to make friends with this person, and the corresponding scene is also a lonely and lonely scene.
But there are exceptions to everything, and there is a kind of woman in this world, who has no real friends, but their lives are getting better and better.
They cut away from ineffective socializing
01), there are many women who always feel that they must be integrated into the group to be the best, even if the group is not liked, they will still choose to meet the song.
In their view, they are dealing with interpersonal relationships, they are in charge of networking, but when they are busy, they find that they have wasted time, wasted money, and in the end they have not received anything substantive, and the interpersonal relationships they deal with are ineffective socializing.
Some women, they walk and walk, in the sudden look back, only to find that a lot of their time, wasted on those ineffective social, they have made so much effort, just to make the people around them satisfied with themselves.
02) In order to gain the approval of others, in order to get the praise and smile of others, we involuntarily do things that we don't like, and we tremble and put ourselves into a shackle, becoming less like ourselves.
As a result, they are on the cliff and lost, understanding that the more friends we have in this world, the better, and sometimes the friendships we have are just wastes of our time and wasted our years.
So, they cut off the ineffective social interactions, so they began to focus on their own hearts, the mountains and rivers, I think, so I am.
They learned to talk to their souls
Remember when I was in college, there was a female classmate who was alone no matter what she did, she didn't go to the housemate party, the roommate black she didn't participate, slowly, the housemates all felt that she was an outlier, so they formed a small group, and she became more and more estranged, and the female classmates did not feel anything, but were happy.
At the time of graduation, when the roommates were worried about finding a job, the female classmates were guaranteed to graduate because of their excellent grades in the four years of college.
Perhaps, their life trajectory has been divided when deciding whether they want to fit in or not.
True friends are good, one or two is enough, too much is crowded, but there is no obstacle, we can also become our own confidants, talk to our own souls, and understand what we want.
In this way, our lives will become clear and clear, and it will be easier for us to understand what we want to live and how we should work for it.
As Zhou Guoping said: "A person has a persistent self, he has spiritual coordinates in this world, no matter how far he goes, he can find his way home." ”
They understand that the meaning of life is to do subtraction
People chase gregariousness because in their worldview, they think that a person is too lonely to be alone, in fact, they confuse the meaning of loneliness and solitude.
Loneliness is a state, even if a person is in the group, they will feel out of place, and loneliness is a negative emotion, no matter what kind of environment they are in, they feel bored and do nothing, and being alone is different, it means that a person completely enjoys their state of quiet solitude.
People who are good at being alone are usually less likely to feel lonely, because they will arrange a lot of things to do, so they will not be easily influenced by others.
There is a passage in "The Ragtag Crowd": "As soon as a person enters the group, the IQ is seriously reduced, and in order to gain recognition, the individual is willing to abandon right and wrong, and use the IQ to exchange for the sense of belonging that makes people feel safe." ”
The more friends we have, the more things we need to deal with, then our time will be more focused on the management of friendship, and when we do not have real friends, it shows that we have a lot of time to spend on ourselves.
Sometimes life needs to do addition, such as experience, such as ability, and sometimes life needs to do subtraction, such as friendship, such as desire.
Women who have no true friends understand that the meaning of life is to do subtraction, so they focus on themselves and travel between heaven and earth alone.
The End -
Author | Psychological counselor Fu Dongsheng
The main writer of love and marriage psychology | Use psychology to analyze love, marriage, and life
WeChat public account: love marriage psychology