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I've seen a topic like this on Zhihu: What is the way adults express disappointment?
Gao Zan's answer was: more and more silent, more and more unwilling to say.
I used to feel that any relationship should be pure, especially love, and when you meet someone you like, you will give it wholeheartedly. However, after adulthood, I understand that there are too many trials that two people need to face together, and it is not that you can exchange the same love for your sincerity.
At the beginning of love, the love and attention that boys can give you will exceed your imagination, and the girl who is loved will be immersed in happiness and feel that she is the luckiest girl in the world.
However, after the two people have been together for a while, the boy feels bored, the freshness gradually recedes, and he will deliberately snub you.
At this time, he is not testing the feelings between you, but your pattern.
Women who are really patterned and smart enough will not deliberately try to please, but silently do the following things, so that men will take the initiative to come to you.
01: Stay calm and don't pander to humility
In the relationship, when the boy deliberately snubs you, if you can't control your emotions, in order to restore each other's relationship and bend over backwards, then in the boy's view your love is cheap, he can't even see any advantages in you.
Really smart women, when the boyfriend does not initiate contact, they will not be emotionally controlled, but know how to stay calm.
They have a clear ability to think clearly, and believe that they are attractive and do not humbly pander. Even if you love each other very much, you will keep the bottom line that you should have.
In the TV series "The Perfect Partner", Wu Min is a housewife who has almost no merit in the eyes of her husband except for housework and children. In her husband's eyes, she didn't have any sense of presence.
When the two went home together, Wu Min had not yet stepped into the house, he closed the door, and Wu Min was almost locked out of the door.
From this detail, it can be seen that the strong husband has hardly paid any attention to his wife Wu Min, but Wu Min does not cry, does not make trouble, and slowly starts his own career.
She opened a custody class with the help of her neighbors and realized the value of her life, and at this time, it was her husband who was nervous, and he kept calling wu min and sending messages, but Wu Min would no longer revolve around him alone.
This is the attitude that a woman with a pattern will have, she will not be humble and flattering, she will only let the man please herself in turn.
02: Understand the inner thoughts of men in order to get back the initiative
Qu Xiaoxiu in the TV series "Ode to Joy" loves Zhao Qiping very much, but the cultural gap between the two people is a bit large, Zhao Qiping is a doctor, and he became the chief physician at a young age.
And Qu Xiaoxiu did not like to read since he was a child, only liked to clubbing and drinking. Once they played cards with Andy and Singularity, Andy said a word, everyone understood, but Qu Xiaoxiu did not understand, and ended up making a joke.
At that time, Zhao Qiping began to dislike Qu Xiaoxiu, felt that they were not suitable for each other, and proposed to break up.
Qu Xiaoxiu felt very unwilling, but when Zhao Qiping did not contact him, she did not lose her sense of proportion, but tried to understand more about the man's heart, and she would ask Andy what kind of psychology the other party was.
After truly understanding Zhao Qiping's thoughts, Qu Xiaoxiu knew what to do. She deliberately invited Bao Yifan to dinner, and also asked to take a photo with him, and sent a circle of friends.
The purpose was to let Zhao Qiping see it and mistakenly think that she did not like him anymore.
Sure enough, Zhao Qiping immediately panicked, before Qu Xiaoxiu went to the hospital every day to pick him up from work, they only broke up shortly after, Qu Xiaoxiu immediately dated other men.
Zhao Qiping's self-esteem was hit, and he went to Qu Xiaoxiu's house that night, and when she returned, the two of them were reconciled soon after.
Men don't contact you, in fact, it is testing your pattern, when you make him feel that you can't do without him, then your relationship will be unbalanced. And if you can deal with it in the right way every time you encounter a snub, men will love you more.
03: Accept it calmly, go with the flow, and do not force anything
Zhang Xiaoxian said: "A person's greatest shortcoming is not selfishness, sentimentality, barbarism, willfulness, but paranoia about loving someone who does not love himself." ”
In a relationship, it is not that you can reap the happiness you want by giving more, even if you have given everything to it, there are still people who do not love you.
In life, there are many girls who obviously feel the perfunctory and indifference of boys, but they still stubbornly love and are reluctant to let go. When men don't connect with themselves, smart women don't feel like the world is falling apart, but can accept it with openness.
Love cannot be demanded, and if his heart is not in you, no matter how sad and unwilling you are, you cannot change his attitude.
The more you can accept the woman you have lost, the more determined you are, and the man is reluctant to leave you.
We will meet so many people in this life, we will experience so many things, who really left and who can't live? Gain calmly, lose indifference, maintain an open-minded and calm attitude, and you will find that instead of bothering to love others, it is better to love yourself first.
True love does not require you to be humble and flattered, if it is not true love, why should you be humble and flattering.
END