Recently, many friends have asked me what qualities I have in order to meet true love!
Actually, I would like to say that meeting true love does not require you to have too many traits, you only need to have one thing: self-love.
I believe that many girls see the word "self-love" and will be the first to think, I want to buy myself a lot of clothes, try to earn money to make myself live well, travel, find sisters to occasionally meet, do a spa, and so on.
Guys, this is called "be nice to yourself" and not self-love!
The so-called "self-love" is that you can accept yourself, even if you have the worst side, even if you have some personality problems, you can accept yourself.
And in the dead of night, know how to listen to your innermost voice, for example, you are unhappy today, what caused you to appear, bad emotions. Can you find the source of negative emotions when you are alone, and then reconcile with them!
Can you not cling to a man and seek satisfaction and security, that is, let yourself be a person with independence first!
Instead of building all the happiness, joy, emotions, on men!
Because only if you are a complete and independent person, you have the ability to love people, and only if you know how to love yourself, you will know how to love each other more.
You will not take giving as a chip in exchange for love; you will not use the way to move the other party to let the other party stay by your side; you will not use the way of pleasing the other party to get the emotional needs you want; in front of this person, you are confident, you are not afraid of who leaves, and even you will not feel that you are not good enough, afraid of not matching him!
Remember: True love is always reserved for you who are confident, not humble, unflattering, and have a strong mindset.
As Murphy's Law says: The more you want to gain, the more you will lose; the more you are afraid of losing, the more you will eventually lose.
So, the strong mindset is, I believe I'm enough to keep you from leaving, and if you do leave, I'm not afraid, because it's not that I'm not good enough, it's that you don't deserve it.
When you can satisfy yourself well, you will find that you will get everything you want.
When we go shopping, you must think it's good, so you go and buy it, right?
Similarly, if you don't love yourself and think you're not good enough, why would you let true love choose you?
And when you don't love yourself enough, in essence, your heart is missing, and you need to fill this part of your missing part with another person.
But in this case, what if the other person leaves you? You will be in a state of collapse, and you will be in a state of disintegration, and you will be entangled with the other party because of being broken up, and you will even make some touching behaviors, hoping that the other party will feel pity and choose to continue to be with you.
You think, at this time, are you not very beautiful? Also very indie?
What's more, all the efforts you make to this person are essentially taking.
Because while giving to the other party, you will take the lead in presetting a picture for yourself: since you gave it to him, he should respond to you equally, and if the other party can't reach it, you will have a variety of negative emotions, thinking that "he doesn't love you".
When your needs are all projected onto another person, it becomes a black hole of needs that cannot be filled.
Because, you don't know how to love yourself, so you long to be loved by another person, and then you will subconsciously use some, giving touches, praying to impress the other party.
It is precisely because in your intimate relationship, there are various unreasonable expectations of the other party, resulting in your efforts, including a lot of negative emotions and dissatisfaction with the other party.
What about the other party at this time?
In the face of your negative emotional cycle again and again, he will be tired, will feel very oppressive, and even feel that you are really "inappropriate", because in many of my classes, I have repeatedly emphasized that "intimate relationship" can be better, and the most important core of demand is "comfort".
Do you think that under your high pressure, the other party will have this comfort? No, it won't.
Comfort is gone, is there still attraction? No.
At that time, he couldn't hide from you.
But when you know how to love yourself, it's different. Love is originally a game, if you base everything on each other from the beginning, then you really lose, and you will let true love slip through the fingers.
1, accept their own imperfections, allow themselves to have shortcomings.
Remember, there are no perfect people in this world.
You too, and so is the other person.
Think about how we are in love?
He doesn't take care of your emotions, you will tolerate each other, and then rationalize yourself with an excuse that you can accept; for example, whether he has been very busy lately, is it because he wants to give you a better life, so his attention is on making money; maybe the other party is very ordinary, but in your eyes, it is full of shining points; the other party is a straight man, does not understand romance, does not understand the sense of ceremony, and even any festival, can not think of taking the initiative to buy you some gifts, and so on.
But in the face of everything, you can forgive and accept, OK, maybe this is how you love him; but from now on, you have to project this state of yours to himself.
You have to allow yourself to be imperfect, maybe you're very manipulative, maybe you're making a fuss, maybe you're not the best, maybe you're not even the most empathetic, it doesn't matter, because in this world, there's only one you, and you're the one who's unique.
Because only by allowing yourself to be imperfect will you become your internal driving force, you will better reflect on your behavior, you can find your own problems, and you can change.
Then through constant correction, change, make yourself a better person.
However, if you are not willing to accept your own imperfections, you are equivalent to losing your "self-salvation", even you have given up on yourself, do you think, will true love still come closer to you?
2, see their own value, respect their own value, and from the benefit of their own.
I often tell girls to find their own value.
Because, if you don't know, what value you have, don't know where your shining point is, then how do you use this advantage to attract true love?
In many of my redemption cases, the girl who was broken up, once she broke up, began to buy drunk, let herself fly completely, and then drank every day confused, the good name is: borrowing wine to dispel sorrows. However, the truth is that sorrow is even more sorrowful. What's more, you're putting yourself in the process of internal friction.
You consume your own value within.
Because you have not respected yourself, and you do not believe that you deserve better, perhaps, hurt yourself, so that you can get a good vent, but at the same time let others see that you are a worthless girl. A girl who doesn't know how to love herself, how do you think others will love you? How can it hurt you?
Therefore, I think the best state of a girl is that I have done this thing, and whether it is a good thing for me. If not, ok then I will not do it. This is also the bottom line and principle that girls should have, only you know what you want, and finally you will get the results you want through hard work.
3, long-term maintenance of a good attitude.
A male friend asked me what kind of woman was the most attractive. My answer is: girls who are emotionally and mentally stable.
Because, you will find that girls with more stable emotions and mentalities can empathize with others and empathize. And can drive another partner's emotions, mentality is also a constant state.
Let me give you the simplest example:
Now people are willing to play a mobile game, the king xx, right, whether you lose or win, if you disturb your own mentality and emotions because of the game, and then you start to insult your teammates in various ways, scolding the game design is very bad, that can only mean that you are played by the game.
On the contrary, if you can treat the game objectively, if you lose, you will lose, and it's a big deal to start over, right.
Therefore, do not be a puppet of emotions, and keep your mentality in a very ok state for a long time, so that you are not insulted.
4, put your own needs first.
Once many girls like someone or enter a relationship, the common mistake is to rank the needs of the other party before their own needs.
Then this state will appear: to seek perfection.
Maybe at the moment you want the other party to accompany you, but the other party can't do it, and then you will be self-pitying, on the one hand, you feel that you are not loved, on the other hand, you will be miserable because you are not satisfied.
At that time, your whole person is very emo.
But what if the other person can't meet your needs, do you choose to meet them yourself? For example, the other party can't accompany you, you are very painful, very wronged, it doesn't matter, you find all the shows for yourself, ask your sisters to watch movies, go out shopping, or find something that can bring you happiness to do.
When you can put your own needs first, you will not be led by the nose of the other person.
Nor is it that in a relationship, it is often at a low level.
Putting your own feelings first does not mean that you should not care about the feelings of others, but to tell you that you do not have to wronged yourself for the sake of others.
To put it simply, in one sentence: true love must come to you because you are worthy of love and protection.
Only if you are a worthy person, true love will take care of you.
And when you are not afraid of everything, you are really the strong one, and you are very attractive in this state.
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C