Cultivate the most interesting and practical psychology every day
With the development of the Internet and the popularization of the information society, many Internet hot words also occupy a certain position in people's lives, and even many words have been greatly affected by the Internet, and even the original meaning has gradually been forgotten by people.
Various abbreviations and letter abbreviations have now become a trend, such as the very popular "YYDS" in 2021: this word was originally written as "eternal god", originally used by a game anchor to describe the superb ability of a professional player; then it was completely "out of the circle", and was quoted by the majority of netizens to describe some more commendable people and things.
Similarly, "eating" was originally used to describe a person eating or eating something else without etiquette, or eating too rudely, resulting in a poor perception of the people at the same table.
Later, it was extended to the individual doing certain things, especially when doing things related to his own interests, disregarding etiquette, not following the rules, or even being too rude, acting undignified, and ungraceful.
Parents' "eating phase" and parenting
As explained above, the so-called "eating phase" actually affects not only the individual's position and image in society - when you find that some people around you have "eating ugly" words and deeds, it is bound to no longer interact with them as before, and it will also affect or even determine the fate of the next generation to a large extent.
The education of minors is a long process, but also a multi-level and all-round way of education. In the field of pedagogy, it is generally believed that the education of children exists at three different levels:
Social education
Family
School education
We usually understand "education" with schools as the main body and teachers playing the main role. In fact, the parents in the family and various people and things in society will occupy an important position in the individual's education process.
The famous German educator Friedrich Wilhelm August Fr bel put forward this view as early as the nineteenth century: "Parents are the first teachers of children, and the family is the first classroom of children." Such a concept has also been regarded as a guideline by relevant disciplines.
The so-called "eating phase", behind it is actually the basic quality of a person to do things, the basic quality of treating people and things, and the basic vision of treating everything in the world.
To a small extent, a person's "eating phase" can reflect its style and characteristics in some small things, and to a large extent, "eating phase" is actually a reflection of the person's three views and patterns.
Then, coupled with the parents' example of their children and the family's educational function for their children, there is no doubt that the parents in the family "eat" how, and their children will also form a way of treating people and things in a subtle way.
For example, Xiao Geng, 35 years old this year, has just reached the age of primary school. Xiao Geng himself had a difficult family environment when he was a child, and often suffered from hunger for some economic reasons, which also led to his relatively frugal life in many things, and even "cutting the door", such as sometimes eating some cheap vegetables from the morning market, almost not going to the restaurant and so on.
His lover Xiao Liu also feels mixed feelings because of this: her husband does not have any bad habits, but sometimes he is too frugal and leads to some "shabbiness".
Finally, one day, Xiao Liu was surprised to find that the two sons, who had just turned seven, actually took out the expired snacks in the garbage can to eat, and even wanted to share them with their friends who were playing together at home.
Xiao Liu was furious and immediately threw away the snack again, and told his son not to do it again.
This is Xiao Geng's almost "shabby" personality that causes him to often do some "ugly eating" things, which subtly affects his children.
As a parent, at least in front of your children, you can't act too "ugly", because it is possible that words and deeds that you think have no impact have become one of the key factors affecting your children.
Social observation and learning
Albert Bandura, a famous American psychologist, believes that in the process of individual psychological growth, in addition to the development of their subjective will and the education they receive, the environmental variables in which they are located will also effectively affect the development and growth of individuals.
That is, human behavior, especially human complex behavior, is mainly acquired.
In this learning process, a small part of the strength depends on heredity, and the larger part is fed by the individual's interaction with the external environment and external stimuli, and then adjusted by the individual's behavior through the adjustment of the individual and the interaction with the outside world.
If this theory is applied to family education, we can naturally draw obvious conclusions: as an underage child, the field of life is basically based on the two-point life of "family-school", so that the things that can provide learning for them are also concentrated in family members and school teachers.
However, for minors, the knowledge transfer attribute of the school itself will make their hearts more inclined to form the concept that most of the learning-related knowledge comes from the school, and the knowledge and skills related to life mainly come from the family.
It is clear that knowledge related to "eating" is a common knowledge in life, not a content related to school knowledge.
Therefore, whether it is to acquire knowledge or interact and feedback, underage children will learn and reflect more on the knowledge related to "eating" in the family.
For example, when he sees his parents desperately arranging their lives for some things, they are bound to pay more attention later, and even ask their parents directly at the first time, "Why is this matter so important?" Because the behavior of parents "eating ugly" is often different from the norm.
This fashion is understandable, once the parents' "ugly eating" words and deeds have become a norm, and the children are no longer confused by this, it means that the children have almost agreed with this value and the way of receiving people and treating things, and then they may learn and imitate this way themselves.
In order to provide their children with a good psychological development environment and a hotbed for the formation of the three views, parents must pay attention to their words and deeds in life.
If you've never thought about how to eat yourself, then I suggest you think about it now. A better way is to ask the people around you, after all, "the authorities are confused, and the bystanders are clear."
When you are a parent, you must pay attention to your "eating appearance", because this may determine the fate of your children.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Vogel, D. L., & Wester, S. R. (2003). To seek help or not to seek help: The risks of self-disclosure. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50(3), 351.