01
These are two true stories.
The story of five dollars is told by a girl:
Junior high school residential, go home once a week. Mom usually gives $2 a week in pocket money, and that week she wants $5 and Mom doesn't give it. She said she wouldn't go to school. Mom said, "I can't fall in love, I can't go home now." ”
Later, she kept pestering her, and her mother was very unhappy to take out 5 yuan and throw it on the table, looking disgusted. And the five dollars bounced to the ground.
The little girl, trembling, picked up the money.
It seems like this is just the way things are over. But she said it had a big impact on her, and she had always felt humble, and at the same time, she had buried a desire for money in her heart.
The story of fifty cents is told by a man:
In the summer vacation of the second year of junior high school, two female classmates in the class came to his house to visit. They sat together and chatted, the first time in his life that he had interacted with a girl of the same age.
Later, the female classmates proposed to go around the street. Penniless, he went to his mother, hoping to give him some pocket money.
Mom wouldn't give. He pleaded and pleaded again and again. Finally Mom pulled out fifty cents, "Take it!" ”
He bent down, picked up the fifty cents, went out into the street with his female classmates, invited one of them to drink a large bowl of tea, and scattered.
The boy of that year is now in his 30s, graduated from college, financially independent, and has long reached the age of talking about marriage, but he has not been willing to get married.
He doesn't marry and doesn't come home. He knew his parents were very lonely. But for now he just wants to live like this, not to get married, not to go home. He said it all started with the fifty cents thrown on the ground.
02
I can't see the real state of the two families' economies, but all I can feel is a kind of "poverty." This poverty is not the economy of the family, but a poverty manifested in spirit.
When the child reasonably requests some money, the parents' reaction above is as if to say, I don't have any money, how can you ask me for money.
But for the little boy, he stretched out his hand and asked his mother for a little pocket money because the adolescent boy knew that he was decent and educated, and he knew that his friends should be warm when they visited. At the moment when he reached out, the image of the mother in his heart was still complete, the one who could reach out.
His mother took out fifty cents and threw it at him, scolding him to "take it", and the dignity of a boy was now exhausted. And the most humiliating thing was that he couldn't refuse, he needed the fifty cents, and two unknown female classmates were still waiting for him in the outhouse, looking forward to a pleasant trip. When he bent down to pick up the note, he must have heard the sound of dignity shattering to the ground.
His heart was torn apart.
Fifty cents thus seriously affected his life path as an adult. From reaching for pocket money to bending down to pick up the fifty cents, the objective time was only a few minutes; in his mental time, it was as long as the whole life. Everything that churned in the son's heart, the mother was completely unaware from beginning to end.
03
In fact, mastering money is also a kind of power for parents, and the mothers in the above two stories have used the power that money brings to humiliate their children fiercely.
Many parents in China have control diseases, especially financial control. When they feel that their authority to speak for themselves is being challenged, they use money as a weapon to split it into their children.
Now a lot of people don't know how to spread the view that children should be poor, especially poor boys, but deliberately poor children, how much they will lose, you know?
Some rich parents in order to prevent their children from developing the bad habit of big hands, so they "hide the rich" and "cry poor" in front of the children, this practice requires moderation, moderate "hiding the rich" and "crying poor" can become the driving force for the children to move forward, if excessive, it may cause a pressure on the child and cause financial insecurity.
Everyone wonders, can a child who watches his parents worry and complain about money all day long be able to concentrate on learning? Therefore, before the child reaches adulthood, parents should tell the child in a firm tone:
"Mom and Dad will definitely guarantee the cost of your schooling and living, you don't have to worry, but when you grow up, you have to create wealth through your own efforts."
This commitment is very important for children. Because when the child's heart is stable, intelligence can be well played. In fact, the most important thing is that poor support will make children lose a lot.
04
Poor parenting can make children lose their generosity and decency.
Poor children, they will be inferior because they are inferior to others in some way. They are both introverted and timid, and they dare not even associate with other children.
When they grow up, they will show restraint and even feel inferior in front of their peers, they dare not show their own light, their inner inferiority feels unworthy, and only by shutting themselves in a small space can they find a little ease.
Blindly learning from others' poor support will make children lose their generosity and decency.
Poor parenting can make children lose the pattern.
Many people say that "the poor will be poorer, the rich will get richer", and the reason why the poor are poor is because their parents have laid a set for their children, which is called "pattern".
Our poor children will spend 2 hours walking to the destination in order to save 2 yuan, but what do the rich children do? In order to save 2 hours of travel to 2 minutes, they will not hesitate to spend 20 yuan to get a taxi. That's the pattern!
Our poor children may spend their time every day on things that don't add value to themselves, while the rich children have more time and opportunities to contact the world.
Poor parenting can make children lose their temperament.
Many times we can judge a person's origin from a person's words and deeds. Why do some children look temperamental and educated, but some children feel vulgar at first glance? The temperament of the child is infiltrated from the bone marrow and is a symbol of the upbringing of the family environment.
This temperament comes from the child's self-esteem and self-confidence. Just like a poor man in Hong Kong who lives in a cage house said, I have to work hard for 50 Hong Kong dollars three times a day every day, and we have no dignity or dreams to speak of.
Children who grow up in a poor environment are more in pursuit of materialistic satisfaction, and they have no energy or opportunity to pursue higher-level things.
05
How can a poor child turn over? Only when achievements in life, such as studying or working, overshadow their own inferiority, can they slowly find self-confidence and then make a makeover, but how many poor children can become such lucky people?
Recently, the American "Psychology Today" magazine also expressed the same view - it is difficult to turn over poor children! Children in a stressful environment, the people and things around them will become extremely sensitive, unwilling to participate in social activities, this psychological pressure will hinder intellectual development, affect academic performance, the most obvious impact is to inhibit curiosity and explore the world.
As a China that has just begun to become rich, many of us have tried the taste of poverty, and we have also tasted the inferiority of poverty. We also know how much effort we ourselves have put into overcoming this feeling of inferiority. These efforts may include that we are making money so wildly that we forget why we are making money.
In addition, the prevalence of social worship of gold may be largely due to the imbalance of wealth in our society. But the family has taken a crooked path for money education, and it is also a big reason to go to the so-called poor support!
If you can, please don't continue this error! Many of us are already caught up in this evil consequence, and don't let the next generation continue this mistake.
Therefore, education should not go to extremes, balance is the best way to educate:
To ensure the material life of children, they will not be greedy; let children suffer a little, they know how to be modest; let children learn music and art, children understand elegance and taste; let children suffer a little setback, their souls will be more tenacious; children often travel, their horizons will be more broad...
