As everyone knows, Liang Qichao is a thinker, politician, educator, historian, writer and reformer in China's modern history. In his family life, he is both the children's loving father, mentor, and their closest friend.
If according to the world's vision, compared to whose children develop better, the Liang family's children are naturally not the most beautiful. None of them were rich or noble, and they were all "useless students." But they did not rely on "fighting daddy", did not rely on their father's reputation, and let go of their own way.
(Liang Qichao)
The inheritor and founder of the Liang family style
Liang's family style and tutoring, grandfather Liang Weiqing laid the first cornerstone.
In 1873, Liang Qichao was born in The village of Xinhui Chakeng in Guangdong during the Tongzhi period in the late Qing Dynasty. At that time, the Liang family had moved here for more than 240 years. In the long historical years, his ancestors and great-grandfathers were the most common ordinary peasants in the Chinese countryside, and their status, wealth, and knowledge were insignificant.
In the generation of Liang Qichao's grandfather, "he began to wantonly learn." While farming, his grandfather studied poetry and books, and finally passed the "student", commonly known as Xiucai, which made the Liang family rise to the gentry class and become a respected local squire.
Liang Qichao began to study at the age of four or five, carefully guided by his grandfather. Two books that his grandfather taught him to read had a profound influence on him, one was the Book of the Four Sons and the other was the Book of Poetry. Liang Qichao's endowments and the education he received as a child have come from his grandfather and from his parents.
His father, Liang Baoying, was known as Mr. Lianjian. Although he did not win half a name, he retired to the township, taught and educated people, and was deeply loved by the villagers. In Liang Qichao's eyes, his father was a man who did not smile and was decent.
In front of the children, he always looked very serious. As a father, he not only urged Liang Qichao to study hard, but also asked him to participate in some field labor. In addition, he also asked Liang Qichao's words and deeds to abide by etiquette, and if he violated family customs and family training, he would not tolerate it. The sentence he said the most to Liang Qichao was: "Ru self-esteem is as usual!" Liang Qichao said that he had never dared to forget this sentence in this life.
In the inheritance of Liang's family style and tutoring, Liang Qichao is a key figure in carrying on the upper and lower levels. His educational philosophy not only has the "righteousness" and "honor" inherited from his grandfather and father, emphasizes inner cultivation, spiritual cultivation and personality tempering, but also has the concepts of science, democracy, equality, freedom, respect for individuality, and civic responsibility.
Teach children to take responsibility for the family
Good parents are people who can lead their children in soul and spirit. There is no doubt that Liang Qichao is such a father.
Intellectually, he was an example for his children to learn, writing more than 14 million words in his lifetime, covering various fields; he was the pride of his whole family, and he lived in exile for several years, but he never forgot his motherland all his life, and struggled all his life to reform politics and awaken the people; he also set an example for his children in his emotional outlook.
Liang Qichao had two wives in his lifetime: Li Huixian and Wang Guiquan.
Although Liang Qichao's wife Li Huixian grew up in Shuxiangmendi, she did not dislike Liang Qichao because of her good birth. The weather in the south is humid, and Li Huixian strives to adapt to the weather, taking care of housework such as carrying water, scooping rice, cooking rice, etc., and never complains. Liang Qichao had no money to buy books, so Li Huixian sold the dowry jewelry; Liang Qichao's reform movement was in danger, so she encouraged him with great righteousness. Her talent made Liang Qichao have no worries.
Madame's profound righteousness has given Liang Qichao an extra "good friend in the boudoir". Liang Qichao also loves his wife, not only loves, but also "fears". His fear is not fear, but a respect for women.
On December 20, 1899, Liang Qichao was invited by the American Royalists to Honolulu, USA. During his time in Honolulu, Liang Qichao experienced an unforgettable emotional entanglement - "Hawaiian Love".
The daughter of an overseas Chinese businessman named He Huizhen admired Liang Qichao at a banquet. Her extensive knowledge, extraordinary conversation, and especially her familiarity with Liang Qichao's writings surprised those present.
Liang Qichao also felt a burst of girlish light fragrance into his heart. Friends persuaded him that he might as well take another concubine, but Liang Qichao said that he already had a family and could not renege on his words, "Yu Yu is running for state affairs today, and every word and move is watched by all the people of all countries." He also told his wife the original version of the matter. Although Li Huixian was angry, she calmly replied, saying that she would leave the problem to Liang Qichao's father, Liang Baoying, to deal with.
In the end, Liang Qichao locked his emotions with reason and ended this bitter love.
In 1903, the eldest son, Liang Sicheng, was born thin, and in order to make the incense flourish, Liang Qichao accepted Li Huixian's concubine as a concubine. To Madame Wang, although Liang Qichao is not as affectionate as he is to Lady Li Huixian, he is also extremely respectful. He once said to his eldest daughter Liang Sishun: "She is also a very important person in our family. She is very good at serving me and sharing many of your responsibilities, and you may as well write letters to her often to please her. ”
Under the influence of the father's concept of marriage, the children are very rational and loyal to love, and have a happy and happy family.
The avant-garde Liang Qichao advocated the pursuit of marriage freedom for his children, but resolutely opposed chaos, so he had the "most poisonous testimony of marriage words" at Xu Zhimo's wedding -- "Don't take marriage as a child's play anymore, make your parents ashamed, make your friends disdainful, I hope this is the last time you two will get married in this life..."
Xu Zhimo is a student that Liang Qichao loves very much, and he said this in the hope that Xu Zhimo can take responsibility for marriage and have a happy family.
(Photo taken by Liang Qichao at the age of 54)
Love is expression, it is expression
Liang Qichao's love for the children can be seen from the title. He nicknamed each child, more than one:
Calling the eldest daughter Sishun "big baby", "Xian'er", "BABY Sishun", "Shun'er", etc., gave Siyi the nickname of "Sima Yi", called Sizhuang "Zhuangzhuang", Sizhong "Zhongzhong", Sida "Dada", Si Ning called "Liu Liu", and called the younger son Si Li "Old White Nose (BABY)".
For raising children, Liang Qichao's principle is: no matter how busy you are, you can't ignore your children.
When children grow up and study abroad, how do they communicate with them when they are not around? Write. Liang Qichao left more than 2,000 letters in his lifetime, and there were more than 400 family letters to his children. He will give different encouragement and guidance according to the characteristics of each child, and it is this kind of education that has given him 9 envious children.
When the eldest son, Liang Sicheng, was studying architecture in the United States, he wrote: "Son, you should travel around, go to Switzerland to 'see some natural beauty', go to Italy to understand the Renaissance, and then go to Turkey to see Muslim architecture and art..."
He not only wrote letters to the children, but also inscribed banners for his daughters and framed them into small hand scrolls to send to them.
Liang Qichao sent Sizhuang "a smile of a thousand miles", and the first picture in it was Liang Qichao's beautiful brush characters: a funny poem by the old man in the ice drinking room and a letter to his beloved daughter. The second small letter reads: "Little Baby Zhuangzhuang: I want your cruelty, so I made this proud work into this exquisite and exquisite hand scroll and sent it to you." Your sister, she is old and will not rob you, but you have to beware of your two naughty brothers, they will not be angry... Little obedient, you hurry up and put it away. On May 13, the year of the ugly, Daddy sent love. ”
Not only did he communicate his feelings with his children in a timely manner, but he also had no heart for his children's lovers, and generously expressed his appreciation: praising his son-in-law Zhou Xizhe as "a person in the halls of heaven and earth"; having Lin Huiyin as his daughter-in-law was "a very pleasant thing in his whole career".
It is said that Chinese is implicit and introverted, and Liang Qichao is just a "negative teaching material", revealing his true feelings to the younger generations and full of love. This kind of unrestrained emotion is not exchanged for a pampered child, but a child's "pampering" of his father.
Si Zhong once wrote a long letter of 6 pieces of paper to his father, teaching him how to take care of his health, Liang Qichao "complained": "A good and long-winded child, who manages the grandfather and the mother, is stricter than the husband who manages the students, and hates to hate." But I have received his filial piety, and I have practiced it for eight or nine times in the past week. ”
Liang Qichao juxtaposed "emotional education", "intellectual education" and "intentional education" as the three major aspects of life education. He often said: "There is nothing sacred in the world than emotions, and we must put emotional education first." "After the irrigation of surging love, the family formed an atmosphere of fatherly kindness and filial piety, brotherhood and brotherhood.
(Liang Qichao's handwriting)
"Funism" allows children to become the best version of themselves
Liang Qichao's 9 children, because they enjoyed "too much love", became outstanding talents one by one. Among them, the architect Liang Sicheng, the archaeologist Liang Siyong, and the aerospace expert Liang Sili were elected as academicians of the Chinese Academy of Sciences.
Liang Qichao once borrowed Zeng Guofan's famous saying to educate children, "Don't ask about the harvest, but ask about the cultivation." "He asks the children to do things, not just to return, but to do things well, cultivate their own world, and naturally there will be good results."
Most of Liang Qichao's children are not "popular majors", but as long as their children really like it and are beneficial to society, he will fully support it. And his 9 children also lived up to their father's expectations and grew up to be the best people in the industry according to their own preferences.
After the second daughter, Liang Sizhuang, studied at McGill University for a year, it was time to choose a specific major. Liang Qichao considered that modern biology was still blank in China at that time, and hoped that she would study this major. Si Zhuang obeyed her father's wishes, but as she learned, Si Zhuang found that biology could not arouse her interest, and she was very distressed, so she told her eldest brother Si Cheng.
After Liang Qichao knew, he was very regretful and deeply uneasy about his own guidance, and quickly wrote a letter to Si Zhuang, "There is no need to mud daddy's words." Sizhuang later changed to very unpopular library science, was admitted to Columbia Library College, and eventually became a famous librarian in China.
The third son, Liang Sizhong, wanted to take the road of military politics. Liang Qichao was hospitalized for a while, Si Zhong was anxious, sweated heavily, and then got cold, and fell ill for a few days after returning to school.
Liang Qichao quipped: "Zhongzhong really did not show up, so timid, and said that he would be a general." Despite this, after consideration, he still supported Si Zhong to study politics in the United States. After Liang Sizhong returned to China, he became a colonel in the artillery of the National Revolutionary Army and performed well in the Battle of Songhu.
The 9 children of the Liang family have different interests and ambitions, and each has its own strengths. Seven people have received higher education abroad and become the best in all walks of life. However, none of them stayed abroad, returned to China after their studies, and shared the troubles with the motherland - all because Liang Qichao's personal practice and earnest teachings over the years have long rooted the feelings of "home and country" in the hearts of children.
In the most difficult period, Liang Qichao still insisted on "funism": "In my life, I have always been interested in what I do. What pessimism, world-weariness of such a literal, I use the dictionary, can be said to be completely absent. What I do often fails, but I always do it while failing. Because I feel fun not only in success, but also in failure. ”
This optimism is passed on to children.
During the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression, the families of Si Cheng and Si Yong traveled a long way to the southwest of the Great Southwest and lived in lizhuang, a remote and isolated village in Sichuan, and lived an extremely hard life. When Liang Sicheng and Lin Hui were still seriously ill and there was really no money available at home, Liang Sicheng could only pawn clothes to maintain his life, and "ate" parker pens and watches. He also joked: "Let's 'red burn' this watch!" Can this dress be 'stewed'? ”
Today's parents often worry about whether they will "coddle" their children. Liang Qichao, the "first person in Chinese family education", told you: True love is never blindly satisfied, but to teach beautiful qualities to children.
(Group photo of Liang Qichao's nine sons)
Liang Qichao's Ten Teachings of the Son's Scriptures
1. Don't ask about harvest, but ask about cultivation.
2. Learning does not have to be too aggressive, like canning, the more stuffed the more urgent, not necessarily will benefit.
3. When I say "don't be childish," I tell you to make up your own mind about the right things— such as doing your homework and taking care of your own affairs. As for being a little childish, it is good. You see Daddy sometimes has a "childlike heart".
4. All learning should always be used interactively in the two work cycles of "fierce boiling" and "slow stewing".
5. Being official is easy to damage personality, easy to get used to laziness and ingenuity, and finally not a place to settle down.
6. The cause of the world does not matter how big or small, as long as you do your best within your responsibilities, you are a first-class person.
7. Zhuang Zhuang's exam this year, even if he fails, it doesn't matter, don't worry, because he was barely able to enter the university. You brothers and sisters can all study diligently, and I will never blame you for your homework, but it is because you are too busy with the class and get sick, which makes me uneasy.
8. I have a very well-informed, strong, and great outlook on life, and I am often optimistic regardless of the circumstances.
9. Baby, I wander in the yard at night, thinking of you against the moon, and singing here, do you hear me?
10. Mere mortals must always live in fun, and life will be valuable.