I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
Wen | has a small bell pepper (the original is not easy, please do not copy, welcome to personal reprint and share)
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There are many happy things this year, if you must choose one or two, I found that it is not the people and things around me, but the fact that Sun Haiyang found his son Sun Zhuo.
I think there are many parents who have the same state of mind as me.
Every time I brush up on relevant information and posts, I feel warm.
Especially when he learned that Sun Zhuo was willing to return to his parents, he was really happy for this family and happy for Sun Haiyang and his wife.
After 14 years of hard work and hardships, there has been a good result, bringing infinite warmth to many families facing the same disaster.
Talking about Sun Zhuo's change for the first time is heart-wrenching
Now that Sun Zhuoyou has returned to Shenzhen with Sun Haiyang and his wife, the school in Shenzhen has also been properly handled, and Sun Zhuo can enroll normally and return to the peaceful life of the campus.
Sun Haiyang said that he will not disclose Sun Zhuo's dynamics in the future, and hopes that his son can have a quiet learning environment.
Sun Haiyang revealed that Sun Zhuo is studying in a private school and living in a school, although he is reluctant to do so, but for the growth of his children, he must let his children live in school to study.
Sun Haiyang can really be said to be a very rational and very sober-minded good father.
Probably because of this, with his wisdom and tenacity, he was able to find his long-lost son 14 years later.
In front of the media, Sun Haiyang talked about the character of his son Sun Zhuo for the first time, he said: His son used to be particularly naughty, and now he has become very Sven, he is no longer the original him, very good.
For Sun Zhuo's personality, as a parent, how to accept, this is a lost 14 years of treasure, how to feel in the heart, can only remain in the heart.
But onlookers have already felt Dad's heartache first.
When he left his parents, he had a lively and mischievous personality, and after 14 years, he had a stable and Sven personality.
Ordinary parents should not be proud of their children's steadiness beyond the age group
Sun Zhuo is very good, has very little personality, and the future can be expected.
This is for sure, believing that he can have a better life with the love and care of his biological parents.
Without these 14 years of experience, of course we would be happy for this child, indicating that the child has grown up.
But from another point of view, what kind of environment makes such a big change in a child's personality?
To know that after Sun Zhuo was abducted by human traffickers, there were 2 years of wandering time, could not find his parents, followed strangers around to hide, what happened to the naughty child in those 2 years, did not dare to think about it, needless to say that It is Sun Haiyang, it is us onlookers, we who can't help but cry when we think about it, can't help but feel sad.
My sister once said a sentence: "Don't be proud of the child's well-behaved and sensible, if the child behaves too mature and stable, well-behaved and sensible, beyond his age, it just shows that the child is not happy, and they are afraid of many things." ”
The sister said this at the time, the mother was praising the 7-year-old daughter brought by the cousin's new girlfriend, a 7-year-old girl who already knew how to look at people's faces.
Of course, different children have different personalities, but every child will show their inner emotions under the care of their parents, which is the trust of their relatives, which also shows that this child lives in happiness, and they do not need to hide their needs and emotions.
Memories may be erased, but the effects are there
Sun Zhuo was only 4 years old when he was abducted, and he couldn't remember anything about when he was a child.
For children, long-term memory is produced around the age of 4.
Some children have long-term memories earlier, while some children have long-term memories later.
There are also some children whose long-term memories are produced relatively late, but before long-term memories are generated, some special things will be deeply imprinted in their minds.
For those children whose memory is relatively late, the details of the experience at that time are not clear, but there will still be some special experiences in the depths of their hearts.
A 4-year-old child was abducted by human traffickers and could not find his parents, which was a very terrible experience, and for Sun Zhuo, even if he could not remember the events of the time, that sense of fear would exist.
Under the influence of this experience, it is most normal for the personality to develop in a stable direction.
After the child is born, the brain gradually develops, and as the brain develops, the child's memory will slowly lengthen.
From the first hour, to a day, to a week, to a month, to a longer time.
It is not that children before the age of 4 have no memory, but that the memory storage time at that stage is relatively short.
For a 4-year-old child, the events of half a year ago, they must remember, but as they come into contact with more and more things, the picture in their minds becomes more and more complex, and the new things will soon cover the past, and in the long run, they will forget the previous things.
As children grow older, their memory storage function tends to mature, and their memory becomes more and more durable.
However, for children, although the memory storage function is not yet mature, some special experiences will bring them a lifelong impact and become the background of their lives.
For example, if the child experiences some bad experiences, like Sun Zhuo, but then lives in happiness, the background of this fear will gradually weaken, and it will not have much impact on personality and life.
If the child's life is always turbulent and fearful, then this feeling will become the background of life.
Provide a warm environment for children to grow up
Sun Zhuo is unfortunate, but at the same time he is also lucky.
Hopefully the rest of his life will be warm.
Our children are undoubtedly happy and grow up healthy under the care of their parents.
The environment is crucial to the child's personality, and the personality directly determines the direction of a person's life.
Since we are so lucky and our children are so lucky, why can't we cherish the moment and provide a warm environment for our children to grow up?
In the process of children's growth, constraints must exist, and some inappropriate behaviors that restrict children are in order to let children grow in a better direction.
But at the same time, providing a free environment for children to grow up, so that children feel respected and able to make decisions about some things for themselves, is the key to the development of children's independent personality.
Sun Haiyang's father's words are very good: I don't want my children to be so disciplined, as long as I don't do illegal things, there are parents and mothers, although I release myself, this is a manifestation of great love for my children.