Mothers may feel: the child is still so young, how can it talk about independence?
Yes, you heard it right! Children under half a year old are already accumulating "independent" abilities and experiences.
Independence is not an absolute concept, on the contrary, it is a relative concept, no matter what age the child is, he can achieve a certain degree of independence.
From the child's ability, limited by age and experience. We can't say that because the child can't do anything, he is not independent enough, which is unfair.
As long as the child can operate within his own ability, that is, he can do what he "can do", he should be considered independent.
Another factor is the environment that children face. If the child is in an adult environment and cannot do anything, it is unfair for us to say that the child is not independent enough, because this environment does not provide him with the possibility of functioning. Only in a purely childlike environment can we evaluate whether a child is independent or not according to the range of children's abilities.
Children aged 0-6 months have two important and independently related nodes. One is birth and the other is weaning. The test of birth is whether the child can get rid of the mother's umbilical cord and survive by breathing air and digesting milk; weaning tests whether the child can gradually get rid of the mother's milk and survive by digesting food on his own with the support of the environment.
These two nodes are independent of the physiological level. Physical independence is easier to obtain with the improvement of children's physiological functions, while psychological independence requires us to help children build little by little, and this construction comes from the positive experience accumulation of children's interaction with the environment - I can rely on myself to achieve operation.
The independence of the child's psychological level contains many levels.
Psychological Independent Self-Testlist Check It Out
√ On an intellectual level, does the child accumulate enough cognition to enable him to rely on this knowledge to make judgments?
√ At the level of willpower, does the child already have a strong enough self-will to make decisions on his own?
√ On an emotional level, does the child already have a good sense of self and can be comfortable with himself without the need for someone to be around all the time?
Specific to the half-year-old child we discussed – as they develop physically, more and more things can be done, and the child begins to experience "I can operate on my own".
At first, it was a very vague feeling, but if this feeling happened many times, then quantitative change would bring about qualitative change. The child will realize that "I can rely on myself".
Once this awareness becomes part of the child's self-perception, it is constructed as one of the basic patterns within the child.
Conversely, if this feeling of "I can do it myself" does not appear, or does not appear enough to become part of the child's self-perception, then even if the child's physical ability develops in the future, his psychology may still think "I can't do it".
Some children will even form a psychological stereotype, in front of the adult who often tells him "you can", the child can be alone; and in front of the adult who often tells him "you can't", the child can actually complete the task, but also become unable to do.
So, if Mom and Dad want to raise an independent child, we have to always reflect on ourselves, do I understand children at this stage of development? To what extent have they reached the level of their abilities? What kind of environment do I provide for this child?
For example, when the child can reach out to ring the bell, when the child can pick up and release the black and white flashcard, we must give the child such an opportunity to accumulate the experience of "I can".
When we provide the child with an environment that matches his current abilities at each stage, so that the child continues to accumulate positive experience of "independent operation", the child's independence can be truly developed.