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The social sciences will comprehensively consider and carefully consider various aspects of human society. Taking the family, the most common form of organization in human society, social science scholars have studied this basic way of organizing in two directions:
The first is the heir relationship maintained by blood, that is, the relationship between father and son in our lives; the second is the in-law relationship maintained by kinship. Human society can develop and maintain in an orderly manner in the relationship maintenance of different dimensions.
Therefore, "relying on parents at home and relying on friends when going out" will become the creed of people for thousands of years. So will there come a day when people will stop valuing these relationships? Of course, it will, in fact, at the moment, there is already a more obvious trend.
The phenomenon of "breaking off relatives" after the 90s is becoming more and more ferocious
As mentioned at the beginning of the article, since some people rely on kinship, there will be people who will try to separate themselves from these relationships.
The so-called "severance of relatives" refers to the increasingly cold relationship between relatives, which has gradually become apparent in today's society.
Although there is no precise data to visually reflect such changes, it is not difficult to appreciate such phenomena from the changes in our lives.
Especially for the generation born after the 1990s, whether it is the one-child policy or the specific growth environment, it has had a great impact on their lives.
As a result, when this generation encounters emotional, spiritual and material difficulties, it often does not think of its relatives and parents at the first time, and if there is no sibling, they are more inclined to associate with their peers.
In addition, this "rupture" has actually begun to spread to parents and children, especially at present, young people have even reached a "ungrateful" realm, looking at the post-90s childhood education, everything was a foregone conclusion 20 years ago.
We may find that the younger the individual, the more he will choose to highlight his personality in life, and even all the words of his parents will be regarded as nagging or even, resulting in strong conflicts.
This is not because the current generation is no longer bound by the "filial piety" standard of traditional Confucian culture, but because certain psychological obstacles are at work in intergenerational communication.
Intergenerational conflict
In fact, in the long process of development of human society, generational conflict is not non-existent, and it has only now begun to be analyzed, one because people's relevant scientific development level has reached a stage where they can be deeply explored.
Secondly, the development of the times and the changes in society have led to an increase in the factors that promote intergenerational conflict, and this phenomenon has become more and more obvious to people.
We may wish to start with the concept of Generation Gap, which is obviously an "imported product" that originates from the Western discussion of intergenerational differences from a psychological point of view.
Margaret Mead, a famous American cultural anthropologist and a well-known representative of the cultural and personality school, wrote the book "Generation Gap" in the 1980s, which mentioned that "young people and old people - teenagers and all those who are older than them - look at each other through a deep ditch ..."
As for whether this "ditch" is growing or closing, Mead believes that it is "dug" by human hands and will eventually exist.
The same is true in Chinese society, where there is a clear tension between the different levels of need between two generations and more generations and the order of superiority and inferiority given to people by traditional culture, and this change has led to some consequences:
1. Elders tend to use their "old man" identity to forcibly influence the younger generation with their own values
2. Similarly, the younger generation will have a strong resistance because it is difficult to accept the concept of the elders, especially after the introduction of Western self-consciousness to China
3. Intergenerational conflicts will rise to such a point of tension that there is "intolerable" between relatives...
What shows this is that in today's society, as the competitive pressure increases, millions of college graduates pour into society every year, and there are only a certain number of jobs in society.
Under this premise, many students will choose not to be employed for the time being, but to prepare for various qualification examinations at home; in the eyes of their parents, it seems that this behavior is the pursuit of a more educated and stable job.
So the chatter of traditional elders about their children "taking the civil service exam" and the motivation of young people to avoid the peak period of employment are in agreement at this moment.
However, the consequence of this "reconciliation" is that this atmosphere in society is becoming more and more serious, so that a large number of students believe that what awaits them after graduation is not a cruel society, but an easy "old age" life.
For their parents, it seems that their value is to work for a few more years for their offspring, so that they can "prepare for the exam" without looking for a job.
Do the two generations really "take what they need"?
The phenomenon mentioned above should not be underestimated, because it is already very common. We may as well start with this to analyze the different needs of generations.
For the older generation, with richer experience and more influenced by traditional culture, their desire for life is more stable, smooth, and "drought and flood protection" and other concepts with strong agricultural social implications.
Therefore, in terms of job search, civil servants, scientific research institutes and institutions have become "fragrant food", because in their view, no matter how high the income, as long as it is enough to live; but the job opportunity is not easy to come by, it must be stable.
However, in the younger generation, growing up in the new century, with a strong sense of self, society is full of temptations for them, and they often do not pay attention to the stability of life and work like the elders, but pay more attention to the attractiveness of the work itself, the level of income and treatment, and whether they can enjoy it.
In short, drawing what you want from life is the most obvious feature of this generation.
In fact, behind the phenomenon of severing relatives, there are all "failed" parents who live an unsatisfactory life and cannot cross the cognitive gap, delusional that their children will become famous, and use the wrong way to coerce their children to "achieve fame".
The phenomenon of "breaking off relatives" is difficult to avoid, and blindly "hoping for a son to become a dragon" can sometimes backfire.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205