Author/Pond Fish
I've said one point more than once: someone you once loved, it's impossible to forget.
Because lost love is not the same as amnesia.
So, I'm always telling people who ask me how I can forget him or her, you really don't have to force yourself to forget, no matter how much you miss and give up now, this is a process that must be experienced, just leave everything to time, and eventually you will find the answer you want.
As long as you have truly loved, the memory of this person will be the eternity in your mind.
No matter how many years have passed, even if you can no longer remember what this person looks like, the past of the two of you, when you have been impressed by this experience, will still occasionally come to your mind.
All experiences, for better or worse, ultimately have their own meaning of existence.
Seeing such a passage, I send it to you: No matter what we end up like, the good that was once good to you is true, even if there is a final dispersion, don't live up to the encounter. I hope you don't regret knowing me, you are really happy, if you can go back to the past, I will choose not to know you, not that I regret it, it is that I can't face the end now.
But if the ending has been made, this miss about the two of you, in retrospect, is nothing more than a parting that you will experience in your life.
You thought the stories of the two of you were different, but there really wasn't a difference. Everyone is like this, gaining and losing, searching, and standing at the same time.
What does it look like for a person who has truly loved, but then genuinely put it down?
I found the answer in a friend.
She once had a boy she loved very much, but later because of all kinds of regrets and misses, she didn't really come together. When she just separated, she was particularly unwilling, because the breakup was proposed by the boy, she saved it, but the boy was more resolute, also begged, did some humble things, but pushed the boy farther and farther.
Then she began to scold him for being a scumbag, degrading him to nothing, and she deleted all his contact information, but still quietly used the new number to pay attention to his various developments.
At that time, she was completely like a neurosis, and for a moment she said that he was not worthy of herself, she wanted to let go of him, to live a new life, to get better and better, to make the scumbag regret it forever, but after a while, her emotions began to repeat, and she kept crying, saying that she still didn't want him to leave and wanted to be with him.
When they first separated, she also thought that she would never talk about love again in her life, would not believe in love, but eventually fell in love again.
Later, she spoke of her ex, with a particularly calm state of mind, in which she no longer unilaterally denigrated, no longer complained, no longer cursed, but was able to stand in a rational position and look at the misses of two people. She is frank, in fact, when she was herself, there were many things that she did not do well, blindly willful, and did a lot of things that made him sad. She thanked him because he had taught her something in this relationship, and let her know how to love someone.
Her final attitude toward her ex is: From now on, I will not contact you again, nor will I deliberately miss you. But I still hope that even though I am not seen in my life, I wish you a safe and prosperous life.
When she thought so, she soon encountered happiness that really belonged to her. Because of the obsession with the ex, she has come out, and naturally she can find the good of the new people around her.
Some people say: He or she has hurt himself before, so I never want to forgive him.
But I want to tell you that in fact, if you have always held such a mentality, it is not the other party who does not forgive, you just did not let yourself go.
A person who has hurt you in the past, do you want this person to continue to affect your future?
Moreover, you did not forgive, in fact, do not affect the person in the slightest, even if you desire feng shui to take turns, to die, that is just your unilateral expectations, and the reality may often backfire, maybe people's lives as usual, happy, you are still there to hold on to the past, let a fact that has been established for a long time, and constantly change your current mentality and life.
It's really not worth it.
No one can always carry the weight emotionally forward, and the beauty of life has always belonged to those who have a relatively relaxed life.
Really, what I want to tell you is this: the past, no matter how much you regret it, has become the past, the person who hurt you, the thing that hurt you has happened, you can't change.
Because none of us can let time happen again.
We can only try to find the joy of life on the basis of what we have.
This person, you can never forgive, this lesson you can also remember, but this matter, you must learn to let go.
Let go, when you go forward and see better things, you will naturally have a stronger mindset. You will find that the original love in this world is actually very small in many cases, you can love, there are many things that can make you happy. Blindly trapped in this is a real waste of life.
Throughout our lives, we only seek a clear conscience, a peace and joy, and a smooth life. If you don't let yourself go, no one can give you true salvation.
Zhang Jiajia wrote in "There is a commissary by the clouds": There is a blooming cloud, slowly crossing the top of the mountain, floating with the wind to the sky, we slowly understand that some farewells are the last side.
In fact, there is nothing to regret.
Yesterday's things are like yesterday's death, and the future things are like today's life.
What you miss, others will get, just as what you get, are missed by others.
Finally you will understand: the comings and goings of others in life are all ordinary, and the only person who can accompany you all the time is yourself. And your mentality is often the key factor that determines everything.
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