One day in 2021, shaoshan city in Hunan Province was sunny, windy and sunny, and the citizens enjoyed a comfortable life until a sharp voice broke this tranquility, "Roll! This home can't accommodate you. I know how to play games all day, and I don't see how old you are, I can't even find a daughter-in-law, and I don't lose anyone! After a strong reprimand sounded, there was another, more intense roar, "Why are you so much nonsense!" What's wrong with playing games? I played games when I was a kid, so why don't you care! ”
Hearing such a conversation, the neighbors are no longer surprised. Everyone knows from the voice that it is not someone else who is speaking, it is the Panjie family.
There is nothing they don't know about Pan Jie's story: Pan Jie, who is now 35 years old, does not even have a daughter-in-law, and has not succeeded in 59 blind dates. Every day, I only know how to play games against the computer, and when I am unhappy, I will angrily scold my parents. For such an unfilial descendant, the surrounding neighbors are both angry and distressed to see it, in fact, this child is quite pitiful. Because the older neighbors knew that Panjay was very well-behaved when he was a child.
In elementary school, Pan Jie was smart and well-behaved and loved by everyone
More than 20 years ago, panjie was a very smart and clever child when he was a child. He was particularly active in school and had good grades, being at the top of his class in every exam and often being praised by his teachers. He not only studied well, but also helped, and some classmates in the class could not do their homework, so they went back to him to explain. Sometimes after class, I also help my classmates clean up, and I am a standard three-good student.
Pan Jie is also very diligent when he returns home, and he often helps his parents to do what they can, such as cleaning, washing their own clothes, and so on. Therefore, Panjie's parents loved him very much. The neighbors saw that Pan Jie was so smart and sensible at a young age, and they also praised him, saying that he must have a great future in the future.
The reason why Pan Jie can have such a good performance is on the one hand his nature, on the other hand, it is also influenced by his parents. Born in 1986, Panjay was already difficult to get into college in the 1990s, but both of his parents were college graduates. At that time, such an intellectual family still had a great influence on the growth of children. Because Panjay has done very well in all aspects, his parents have high hopes for him.
Such an excellent elementary school student, who would have thought that when he grew up, he would become a violent and strange and self-depraved person?
Although the little Panjie is very good, his parents have little love for him. As a people's teacher, his father's usual teaching tasks are very heavy, and he rarely has time to play with him, even if he occasionally comes home, he is busy with work and has no time to accompany him, which makes Pan Jie feel the lack of father's love at a very young age.
And his mother, the child is very loving, although the work is busy, but can not bear to let the child alone at home, she will lead him to the company, and the people who work in the company are adults, Pan Jie can not find a small partner to play there, it is obvious that there is no fun in that place, but he still did not refuse, although there are no toys and small partners, but at least you can get the company of your mother.
Pan Jie's parents usually feel guilty about rarely spending time with their son, plus Pan Jie has always performed very well, and his parents have contracted almost all the housework in the family in order to make him better study and make up for his inner guilt. In this way, their precious son does not have to worry about things outside of learning, and can devote himself wholeheartedly to learning. The parents were good at the intention, but they caused Pan Jie's self-care ability to slowly lag behind the children of the same grade.
In middle school, Pan Jie was inferior and rebellious and lacked love
Later, Pan Jie was admitted to a well-known local middle school with excellent results. The school was far from his home, and in order to make more time for him to study, his parents decided to let him live in. Pan Jie, who grew up living next to his parents, suddenly left the familiar environment and entered the collective dormitory, suddenly becoming a little overwhelmed.
He really didn't think that there were so many things to do in life, such as folding quilts and washing sheets by himself, sewing clothes by himself, and so on. At home, all these things were done by his mother, and now all of them fell on him alone.
Watching other students do very well, but he does not know anything, Pan Jie began to have inferiority in his young soul, and gradually, his low self-care ability was ridiculed by his classmates, and everyone said that he had good academic performance and poor personal ability, which was a typical "high score and low energy".
How can Pan Jie, who has always grown up in the envy of his classmates, stand this kind of ridicule! He began to drift away from his classmates who laughed at him. Because of his inferiority and conceit, he fell into this contradictory mood every day, and his academic performance began to be affected. Later, the classmates in the class gradually began to exclude him, coupled with the lack of parental company and care, he was very depressed every day, and he no longer cared about his grades. And I don't want to take the initiative to communicate with my classmates, nor do I want to improve my grades.
Several times, he called home and said he wanted to be a day student and wanted to be home once a day. But his mother always said that he was too busy at work to pick him up, while his father was busier and less likely to pick him up. Panjie felt sad, but could only accept the fact that he was living on campus.
He often felt empty inside, that no one in the world cared about him, that no one understood him. In order to relieve his worries, he gradually walked with the little in the class. By chance, he went to the Internet café under the leadership of a small, looking at the wonderful and exciting game screen on the screen, as if opening the door to a new world, Pan Jie fell into computer games, and has been out of control ever since.
Every weekend, he would go to the Internet café to play games for hours. What started out was once a week, then it became once a day. Because the school management is more strict, at night after the lights out will close the school door, can not go out of the school normally, in order to play games or even go out of the wall, a play is a night, the next day class doze off.
As Pan Jie's performance in the classroom became worse and worse, his Internet café was finally discovered by the homeroom teacher, who repeatedly advised him, hoping that he could focus on learning and not go to the Internet café to play games. But where would Pan Jie, who was addicted to it, listen to the advice of his teacher? The teacher had no choice but to tell his parents about it.
Pan Jie's mother has always felt guilty about the lack of time to accompany her son, so when she learned that her son went to the Internet café to play games, although she was very angry in her heart, she did not dare to blame the child loudly, just a few symbolic rebukes, and did not play any substantive role. Pan Jie is playing games online for longer and longer every day. With an Internet addiction, he loses his temper every day without playing games. His mother felt that things were not good and wanted to stop her son, but it was too late.
One evening, Pan Jie's mother walked around many local Internet cafes, and finally found her son in a very remote Internet café, Pan Jie was wearing headphones playing the most popular "Legend" at that time, the mother saw her son playing so greedily, suddenly did not hit a place, she reached out and knocked off the headphones on his head and unplugged the network cable on his computer host.
The game screen on the screen also stopped abruptly, and Pan Jie was stunned at first, but when he looked back, he found that his mother was standing next to him, and he was very angry and pinched a network cable.
At this time, if you change to other students, you will definitely apologize to your mother very ashamedly, but Pan Jie has already found a little crazy when playing games, and he does not have the slightest sense of guilt in the face of his mother's questioning, but instead says with a straight face: "Why do you want to pull my network cable, why don't you let me play games?" At that time, it was also in a period of rebellion, and Pan Jie's head was hot, so he pushed his mother, and his mother did not stand still and fell to the ground on the spot.
Because it was the hand that landed first, so it broke the wrist, when Pan Jie's mother did not go to the treatment in time, it was a little too late to go to the treatment, and finally the palm fell to the root of the disease, unable to move flexibly, and fell into this mild disability.
Pan Jie, who graduated from secondary school, has a hopeless blind date and a bad temper
Although Pan Jie's parents hate their son, under the impact of guilt, they think that as long as their son grows up and understands things, all this will get better. But things didn't go in the direction parents expected.
Pan Jie's academic performance plummeted, so he did not enter the ideal university according to his parents' expectations, but only entered a normal secondary school. After graduating from secondary school, his classmates began to look for jobs, but he never considered finding a job, just hid in the Internet café day and night every day and night to play games. Later, after the family bought a computer, he stayed at home every day to play, the door did not go out, the second door did not go. He has gone from what everyone calls "someone else's child" to today's waste firewood.
Because Pan Jie played games every day when he was in secondary school, he did not have direct contact with people for a long time and did not receive a good education, so his three views were different from ordinary people, and this difference was also reflected in his attitude towards marriage.
The world pitied the hearts of the parents, and the parents did not give up hope for Pan Jie. They were old enough to have children, so they thought that when he had a family and became a father, he would get better. His parents began looking for a matchmaker to propose to him.
During the blind date, Pan Jie said something that made people cry and laugh. This was the first girl Pan Jie was going to meet, and he came to the girl's house, and as soon as he sat down, he said with a word: "I like to play games, so you can't disturb me when I play games, you just go to work every day to earn money to support me." ”
Panjie not only wants the woman to earn money to support him, but also does not want to provide a bride price and garage, and he only wants to play games at home alone. I'm afraid no girl can accept this kind of thinking! So he was rejected one after another. But Panjie stubbornly believes that why should men feed women, and women can't feed men in turn? Playing games is a man's hobby, a woman can wear makeup, can go shopping, why can't he play games
Pan jie's parents could not change his thinking, so they had to ask the matchmaker to find one girl after another to kiss him. But no girl was willing to accept him. Pan jie went on a total of 59 blind dates and was rejected 59 times.
In the process of blind date, Pan Jie at first only felt that there was no common language with those girls, and the three views were inconsistent before he was rejected, and later, he gradually felt that no girl could approve of his ideas.
His parents were humiliating him by constantly introducing him to blind dates. In the process of being rejected again and again, Pan jie began to resent his parents, believing that all of this was caused by them.
Panjie's parents were helpless and had to send him to the psychiatric department of the hospital for examination, and the results of the examination turned out to be biased dementia.
Later, he received some treatment, his obsession with the game eased, and his idea of marriage changed, but his resentment towards his parents did not improve in any way. In ordinary life, Pan Jie would look at his mother angrily if he was slightly unhappy, and even scolded him.
Once he was cursing his mother, and his father really couldn't look at it and reprimanded him a few times, and Pan Jie immediately shrugged it off and said, "Do you have a share of your speech?" Am I not harmed by you? I see you're going to get beaten sooner or later. When Panjie's father heard his son say this, he stopped talking, but silently wept, hating why his child had become like this, and also hating why he did not discipline his child well in the first place.
Pan Jie, who is now 35 years old, still has not found an object, and every day he is silent in the game, and his parents have completely died to him, just providing him with a certain amount of living expenses every month, and no longer have any hope for him.
Pan Jie's matter has been spread by the media and is well known by the majority of netizens, and some netizens want to help him out of enthusiasm, but when they find his home, they find that he is not at home, and it turns out that he went to the Internet café to play games. After finding him, good words and persuasions to him did not have any effect.
For Pan Jie, it is difficult to return him to a normal life through conventional methods, and the saddest thing at this time is his parents. Why did such a good child when he was a child fall into this kind of field step by step? What is wrong and how to solve it?
In fact, in the process of understanding Pan Jie's story, we can find that his temperament changed in junior high school, and at this time, he had a strong sense of self-esteem in the rebellious period, but he lacked the love of his parents psychologically, and he could not fully take care of himself in life, which produced an inferiority complex. If his parents can take the opportunity to care and enlighten, then he can fully return to normal life, but on the grounds that his parents are busy at work, they do not give him much care.
epilogue
Panjie's story is thought-provoking, his parents are powerless to change the status quo, if time can be repeated, then they may become a very qualified pair of parents.
This matter is also a warning to other parents, when the child is young, we must pay more attention, do not ignore the psychological needs of the child because of too busy work or other reasons, once the child has developed a vice in adulthood, it is very difficult to reverse the child to the normal track. Even if you give changes through some special means, you will bring some harm to your children. In addition, parents can not only emphasize academic performance in the education process of their children, but also ignore the education of life skills.