In real life, have you ever encountered some interpersonal problems?
When you need some simple cooperation or help, although you are kind and kind, you make requests, others look like they don't care about themselves.
For example, when you're walking down a crowded hallway with a cup of hot water. You want the people in front of you to cooperate with letting go.
At this point you might say, "Excuse me, let me go." ”
If you meet a better heart, you will take the initiative to give you a aisle. But people who encounter a little indifference may also be motionless, or even pretend not to hear.
Even if you have a good attitude, others will not cooperate.
At this time, will you think, "Why are these people so indifferent?" ”
Although you will be in a bad mood, you cannot deny that others are not obligated to cooperate with you. However, if you change the solution, maybe the situation will change.
In the same scene, you're still holding a cup of hot water and walking down a crowded hallway. At this time, change the words in your mouth and say, "Boiling water, very hot, is going to spill." ”
At this time, you will find that not only people in the vicinity will take the initiative to avoid giving way when they hear this sentence, but even people standing in the distance will take the initiative to give way to the road.
Others are under no obligation to cooperate with you, and you need to understand this when you make a request.
But if you can get your hands on something, make a connection with him. Your request may be effective. Let him feel that he does not cooperate with you, and he will also cause trouble, or he will lose his original interests.
Just like boiling water is very hot, if it spills out, you will also be in danger, and no one wants to be innocently implicated.
We have to admit that when what is in front of us has nothing to do with ourselves, many people will choose to ignore it or watch from the sidelines.
But when your own interests are related to the interests of others, you will pay more attention to yourself.
"The so-called high emotional intelligence is to be able to talk": The wording is like cooking, there is a recipe to follow. As long as they master the recipe, anyone can make a delicious dish.
In "Extreme Challenge", Huang Lei has used a similar method.
On the subway, Huang Lei was surrounded by clusters, and in order to squeeze out of the crowd, Huang Lei held up the soy milk in his hand, and said as he walked forward: "All sprinkled, sprinkled." ”
The people around them took the initiative to avoid it, Huang Lei spilled a road with soy milk, quickly left the crowded subway, and even the director team sighed: "Soybean milk can still be used like this?" ”
Daniel Gorman's "Emotional Intelligence" Emotional intelligence is not gentle and polite behavior. For example, in some moments of great importance, emotional intelligence may not require gentle and polite behavior. On the contrary, sometimes it is necessary, blunt, pointing out important facts that make the other party uncomfortable and have been avoiding.
In real life, we can often see similar situations.
For example, in order to make employees work better, companies will formulate various KPIs, which are often referred to as performance and indicators, and link these performances to employees' salaries.
Or when formulating the wage structure, the basic salary plus the method of drawing is adopted. In order to let the interests of employees better link with the company.
Establish reasonable standards to make employees more motivated and reduce the time and frequency of paddling.
Adam Smith The Wealth of Nations: Man is born, and always will, be a selfish animal.
Cooperation and help, when others are willing to do it, is out of affection, not duty. We can't ask others to cooperate, after all, that's not their obligation.
However, there are some ways and means, or verbal techniques, that can be used to make the interests of two people related.
When two people stand on the same side and become grasshoppers tied to the same ship, the other party will naturally take the initiative to cooperate, and even more attentive than you.
In real life, have you ever met someone who wouldn't cooperate with you?
I am a little bear, grateful for the unexpected encounter with you in the vast sea of people.
If you feel that the article is helpful to you, or if you feel empathy, I look forward to the cute you to like it.
You are welcome to share your opinion, and Bear is looking forward to finding a resonance with you.