Recently, I borrowed Barkin's "Home" book from the first picture, and when I was in school, I often heard people talk about this book, but I never really read it, and this time I really read it well.
The book is mainly about a feudal bureaucratic landlord family in Chengdu, Sichuan. He wrote about the different ideological personalities and life paths of the three brothers in this family, Jue Xin, Jue Min, and Jue Hui, wrote about several pairs of young people--Jue Xin and Qian Meifen, Li Ruijue, Jue Min and Qin, Jue Hui and Ming Feng, and wrote about their different encounters; at the same time, he also wrote about the students' petitions, Jue Hui was locked up, the mutiny was alarmed, Ming Feng, Mei Fen, and Rui Jue died tragically, Jue Min fled marriage, Jue Hui ran away, and so on.
In short, in that era, there were both big brother Juexin, who endured humiliation and burdens, and did not dare to come out of the atmosphere, but also Juemin and Juehui, who accepted new ideas and dared to struggle against feudal thought. Conflict is the charm of the novel. This book is constantly in conflict and introduces winning.
After reading this book, I kept thinking, what kind of home is Mr. Barkin showing us? In this family, the old lady's long mourning period, the eldest granddaughter-in-law who believes that she wants to have children will bring ominousness, and it is not counted that the granddaughter-in-law who is waiting to give birth is not counted, even if the room where she lives outside must also have a yin and yang theory, what is even more foolish is that during this period, the eldest brother cannot look at his daughter-in-law, and eventually causes the daughter-in-law to die in childbirth. Is this such a home filled with feudal superstitious ideas?
Moreover, it is this family's serious paternalistic style, as long as the old lady makes a decision, no one can change. Including not letting Juehui out of the house, including pointing out marriage to children, including gifts from domestic servants, are all words from the old lady, no one can have any objections, and whoever has even a little disagreement will definitely be accused by the old lady.
Of course, in such a family, not all of them are resigned to the big brother, but there are also two brothers and three brothers who receive new ideological education, although they cannot change the entire family, they will never yield, they are reasonable, argue, and finally flee, they can not stay in such a home for a moment, and even full of hatred.
At this point, we can see that in such a dictatorial and authoritarian, tough and non-negotiable family environment, there will be children as weak and resigned as the eldest brother, and there will also be second brothers and three brothers who rise up to struggle and disobey discipline. Strong families may raise these two types of children.
I remember my neighbor, there is a father is a strong person, the treatment of the child is either accusation or obstruction, his child every time he plays with us for a while, he will go home early, or he will be beaten and scolded by the father. When a few of our neighbor's children discussed what fun place to go, his father would not allow him to go. Later, we grew up slowly, we all had our own lives, and there was less contact, and then we returned home and listened to the old man at home, saying that the child who played with us, his son, had long since severed relations with him, did not come to see him, and could not stand his discipline.
Of course, there are also children, under the strong power of their parents, who are powerless, can only listen, and in the end they have no opinion at all, always seek help in doing things, and cannot handle it themselves. The family does not dare to make decisions on big and small matters, fears the wolf before and fears the tiger, is cowardly, and looks forward to the future. Just like the eldest brother in Barkin's "Home" book, he has a sweetheart, but the fate of his parents is not to disobey, not only can not concentrate on running the family, but also hurt the beloved. And it was so weak that his wife gave birth to a child and made a confinement, and he did not dare to look at it for such a long time.
Strength may be a state of some families, although Mr. Barkin's "Home" is in the context of the feudal ideas of the old society, perhaps this is the case, but we can see the different effects of such a coercive family on the growth of children.
In our current society, there may be fewer authoritarian and tough families, but there are also some parents who hold up the banner of loving their children and being good for their children, and they will also be tough to do a lot of things for their children, or stop their children from doing many things and making any decisions. In fact, this is also the strength of parents changing direction, always feel that the child is still young, nothing can do, weaken the child's ability. In this way, is the child not weak?
Some people say that home is a warm quilt in winter; home is a cool tree in summer; home is the breeze given to you in spring; home is a windbreaker in autumn; some people say that home is a lifelong bondage, a haven for you to shelter from the wind and rain, a bright light for you to walk in the dark; a bowl of hot porridge when hungry, and a chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea that cannot be separated. Anyway, home is a place full of warmth.
No matter how much Juehui hated this family, in the end, when she wanted to leave home, she still shed tears of reluctance. Regardless of the period when Juemin threatened the old lady by running away from home for his own love, he still missed his home and hoped to return home as soon as possible.
Therefore, since home is a warm harbor, everyone needs the warmth of home, it is necessary for everyone to trust each other, support each other, equalize each other, and understand each other, so that the family atmosphere can be warm, and children will grow up in such an environment, and they will be healthy and happy. After reading Mr. Barkin's "Home", although the story in the novel is far from the current era, I deeply feel that the strong family atmosphere is not conducive to the growth of children.