Text | Yo-yo Mom
Let's talk about a few small moments of life and see if you have any resonance?!
When you wake up in the morning, you can open the window or go to the balcony to feel it, and you will know whether it is hot or cold today, and how much clothes to wear. But I still can't help but open the phone to see how many degrees the weather forecast shows;
Put the bath water for the child, in fact, feel the same with your hands, but it is not comfortable to put a thermometer, and you have to confirm that the position of the water temperature is just right, and then rest assured to put the child down;
During the day, I went out for a big circle, I feel that I have walked a lot of roads today, but I still have to open the WeChat step number to confirm...
How, do you feel the same way?
I remember once watching friends chatting in the WeChat group, a friend just took the baby out to play all day and came back, but he was complaining: "I ran out of power on my mobile phone today, I felt that I walked so many roads in vain, and the Number of WeChat steps was not remembered, otherwise it would definitely be the first in the ranking."
Then there was a "hahahahahaha" in the group.
In fact, behind these small actions is hidden psychological preferences that we have not noticed, quite interesting, let's talk to you about these small things.
Today's insight, we must first borrow a word that is particularly hot at present - data. Anything is a piece of data for the brain, such as when you walk into a park, the grass under your feet, the blue sky overhead, the small flowers blooming by the side of the road, the birds chirping, and a few children chasing and playing not far away... These all become pieces of data into your brain.
Layton Christensen, a Harvard Business School professor whom Jobs admired so much during his lifetime, once divided data into two categories: positive data and negative data.
"Positive data" are those that can be expressed with clear indicators, such as how many steps and kilometers he has taken today; how much temperature and humidity he has today; whether his eyes are blue or brown;
Beyond that, all that can only be understood and cannot be said is "negative data."
As times continue to evolve, there is a clear trend in our lives: increasing reliance on positive data. This is exactly what is reflected in the first few examples!
However, this is also understandable, because this is our human preference written in the genes.
Because positive data can eliminate uncertainty, hundreds of millions of years ago, when the ancient ancestors of humanity lived in the jungles of Africa, uncertainty meant a threat to life.
In fact, positive data is a good thing.
It's like when you were a child, you often ran over to me to let me play with her when I was writing articles. If I say, "Mom is busy for a while, and I'll play with you after writing this", Yo-Yo will probably not cooperate and will stick to me all the time.
Later, I found out that if I used a timer, the effect would be very different. I turned it to the 10-minute position and said, "When this time comes, I can play with you," and Yo-Yo usually stops relying on me and starts staring at the timer.
For example, if we have a goal to achieve, whether it is in life or at work. If you keep thinking about the final goal, you often can't start, but if you break it down into small goals, you can continue to move forward with the progress bar, in an orderly manner.
With the advancement of science and technology, we have made good progress in AI, and people are increasingly aware that the true meaning of artificial intelligence is the feeding of big data, and combined with algorithms, machines can learn on their own.
In fact, human cognition and wisdom are the same.
For example, just as eating a variety of foods from childhood to adulthood and slowly growing into a strong body, cognition is fed by massive data.
A baby from birth, every day, looks at her mother's face, looks at her caressing eyes, has a gentle smile on her face, absorbs these data day by day, and then a response begins to appear on her stupid face.
And in these data, the truth is:
Positive data accounts for only a tiny fraction, like an iceberg on the tip of the ocean, and a large swath of negative data hidden deep in the subconscious, unaware of humans, hidden beneath the surface. That's the more important part of our perception.
It is not difficult to understand this, just imagine that when you meet a stranger, your impression of the person will come from gender, height, body shape, etc., but more is the smile when interacting with the person, the subtle look, the tone of the speech, etc.
Since the vast majority of cognition comes from extreme data, it is a matter of vigilance that we rely too much on positive data.
In life, in order to better achieve a goal, people often use a number of means that can be turned into positive data. In the end, however, the original goal is often forgotten, and the means become the new goal.
It's a bit abstract to say that, but let me give you an example.
For example, when a child learns the piano, at the beginning we may just let the child cultivate his emotions and enjoy music. In this process, how does the child master it? Examination is a means to actively promote negative data to measure the level of piano mastery.
However, after slowly practicing, I paid more and more attention to the examination, as if the examination was the purpose of learning the piano.
Another example is the exam, its original role is to present the children's learning with positive data, but later? But it becomes studying just to get a high score.
Don't forget the original intention, this sentence also hides a meaning: don't be wrapped up in positive data, give it a bias.
Have you found that the source of our anxiety is often too much attention to positive data and neglect of the more important negative data in life?!
It's like when we go for a walk in the forest at the beginning, just to relax, wherever we go, everything is very casual. However, if you want to pay attention to the Number of Steps on WeChat, your mentality has changed subtly at this time.
And when your child is in a daze, doing nothing, or fooling around with friends, you feel anxious because none of this can turn into positive data.
How many points to take the exam, everything to learn must be graded, and if there is no positive data in front of us, it is as if everything has been learned in vain.
It may be the characteristics of parenting bloggers, talk about what to feel, and finally talk about it will return to parenting.
If you know that your child's cognition is feeding that requires a lot of data, and most of this data comes from negative data;
If you know that negative data is really not taught by us, only by relying on children to feel and understand in their own life experiences, can they be absorbed into TA's cognition.
Are we also going to relax our minds about our children's growth?
You must know that children are also learning when they play, chatting is also learning, and even quarrels and fights are also learning! It's just that we can't understand these learnings ourselves.
We always pay attention to positive data, but also because positive data is better grasped, and negative data we can neither understand nor control.
Moreover, in the society where children will be based in the future, when AI is mature enough, the cognition of negative data is their core competitiveness.
Or back to the old saying I say most often, "Education should be silent."
There is really not much we can teach children, children have their own strong learning ability, and what we have to do is to provide him with a huge amount of data rich environment, so that they can absorb and grow.
To give you another example, everyone naturally learns their mother tongue, do not deliberately teach, to grasp what progress, just listen to the people around them every day.
In English, it becomes a deliberate pursuit of positive data, such as how much vocabulary is mastered and how many common sentence expressions are learned.
The original intention of language is to communicate, and communication not only contains the expression of meaning, but also a lot of subtle things. It's like saying a sentence in a different tone, and the accompanying expressions, these are all part of communication.
Native speakers you can apply freedom because in addition to vocabulary, there is also a lot of negative data infiltrated to help you master;
And how to memorize words in English and learn more sentence patterns, there is still no way to express them freely, precisely because there is too little negative data absorbed.
Thinking about this, you will find that in the growth of children, we can really only control the tip of the iceberg.
And the huge part under the iceberg, we must also have confidence, believe that the sun and rain and dew of this world can moisturize children and make them grow into a healthy appearance.
Well, today is here, another insight from the small things of life, has your anxiety eased a lot!
Yo-Yo Mama in Germany on December 13, 2021