Silence
Author: Zhu Ziqing Recitation: Gao Gao
Silence is a philosophy of life, and when used well, it is an art.
Everyone knows that the mouth is used for eating, but some people say it is used for kissing. I'm not wrong when I say it's full; but if you count, the most (perhaps not the greatest) use of the mouth should still be to speak, I believe. According to the popular discussion at present, speaking is probably a kind of propaganda, self-propaganda. So speaking is downright your own business. If anyone insists that it is for others, by virtue of all kinds of sacred names, but I am willing to give in, please allow me to say this: sometimes it is true that speaking only indirectly for oneself, but directly for others!
There are others outside of themselves, so they have to speak; others also have other people's selves, so they have to talk less or not. So we have to understand silence. If you have read Mr. Lu Xun's "Blessings", you will definitely understand what I mean immediately.
When the average person sees a living person, he will be silent, but there are many exceptions. Often in the train and ship, I see some people who can't wait to go around asking and talking, whether it is a passenger or a tea house, I can only envy the health of these people; because in such a trip in China, I will not feel a little tired!
See the silence of the living, probably due to primitive fear, but there seems to be something else. If you are completely unfamiliar with the name of this living person, the work you can do is naturally only intentional or unintentional defense—like defending against an enemy. Silence is the safest defensive strategy.
You don't have to know you, and you don't want him to find out what's ridiculous about you — there's always something ridiculous about a person isn't it? You only let him say what he wants to say, if he is a man of words. At the end you respectfully and respectfully parted from Him.
If this person is willing to be friends with him, you still have to be silent. But one must listen carefully to his words, and choose a few places, and give them short, considerable praise; at least a considerable agreement. This is the beginning of a confidant, or at least a confidant.
If this person is a big person you admire or may not admire, you must remember, and you must not be silent! There is something strange about the words of the great men, and even the looks of their faces; you had better sit far away and let those brave companions go to the front. Naturally, I'm only talking about when you meet or visit big people by chance. If you are willing to pray sincerely, you have to find another way; in me, that is a terrible thing. If you look at the conversation between the big man and the non-big man or between the big man and the big man, you can be satisfied without having to burst a word out of the gap between your teeth.
Speaking is a laborious thing, and when you can say less or not and say less or less, silence is really a way to live a long life. As for self-promotion, sincerity is important – who can't admit that it's important? ——, but for the living man, it is in vain; he will not appreciate the purpose of your propaganda, only laugh at your propaganda fever; he will forget it cleanly, after bowing or shaking your hand.
Friends are different from living people, just when they can listen and listen to you - propaganda. This need not be said to be exchanged, but it is exchanged. They know you and understand you to varying degrees; they have a fairly interesting and polite attitude toward you.
Your words satisfy their curiosity, and they listen with interest; your words are serious or sad, and they can temporarily follow you seriously or sadly because of politeness. In the latter case, it is you who are satisfied; what they really feel is the atmosphere of conservatism. They know what to do; it's a sacrifice that should be appreciated.
But even in the presence of a confidant friend, your words should not be said too much; the same stories, emotions, and aphorisms, phrases, should not be repeated. "Blessings" is a good example. You should be quite restrained, and you should not think that your words occupy the whole heart of your friends--your own heart, and you will not let others completely occupy it.
You should know how to hide yourself. Only the unknowable, the unobtainable, is pursued; if you give everything to others, you will have no meaning to others, to the world, just like the corpses used by medical students in their internship dissection. It will be an incredible loneliness, and you will not be able to support yourself and fall into the bottomless darkness.
A lover often likes to say: I am willing to give you everything! Who really knows what he or she has? The first to say this is only an expression of his own generosity, and at best an ideal; what follows later is more of a mantra.
Therefore, between friends, even lovers, silence is still indispensable. Your words should be like the stars of the night, not like the firecrackers of Chinese New Year's Eve — who is rare for a firecracker all night? And silence is sometimes more poetic.
For example, in the afternoon, at dusk, in the middle of the night, in the large and quiet room, a short silence may be far better than a continuous, tired conversation. Some people call this realm the beauty of speechlessness, you see, what a beautiful name! - As for the so-called flower-picking smile, that is even more remarkable!
But there are times when silence doesn't work. When there are many people, you are easy to be silent, and when there is one master and one guest, you are not allowed to do it. Your excessive silence may have annoyed your guests and driven them away!
If you are willing to drive him away, of course it is very good; if you do not want to, you must from time to time let him drink tea, smoke, read pictures, read newspapers, obey the box, and occasionally talk to him about the weather, the situation - just a repetition of the newspaper records, plus a few unsolvable questions - always lead him to speak. So you nod, hum your nose, sigh and listen. When he's done, you give it a head and listen.
But my friend met a guest who was a quasi-big man who went to see my friend out of some courtesy. When he sat down, he wrapped his hands up and laid them on the table. After saying a few words, I stopped and looked directly at my friend with piercing eyes. My friend was extremely embarrassed, and it was easy to find a sentence and a half to perfunctory.
This is naturally also a use of silence, used by superiors to maintain majesty over subordinates. It would be too explicit to use it in general communication; in the above case, it would be even more rude not to leave some room for the master. The horrors of big people and quasi-big people are in this place. As for the way to cope, in fact, there is, it is still silent; just to cage his hand, and he looks at him, he is probably helpless?
Zhu Ziqing (November 22, 1898 – August 12, 1948), originally known as Zihua (自華), was later renamed Ziqing (自清) and the character Peixian (佩弦). Originally from Shaoxing, Zhejiang Province, he was born in Donghai County, Jiangsu Province (now Pingming Town, Donghai County, Lianyungang City). Modern eminent essayist, poet, scholar, and democracy fighter.
Source: WeChat public account ▷ Sijimeiwen (sijimeiwen)