Text/Lu Yi
Figure/source network, intrusion and deletion
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Many people will argue about small things when they are young, such as whose tofu milk is better, such as whether zongzi should be sweet or salty. As we grow up, we become more and more silent, not because we have less desire to communicate, but because as we mature, we understand that there are some things that do not need to be debated about right and wrong, and that some things everyone has their own ideas and needs.
Silence is a sign of a person's gradual maturity.
Rushing to open our mouths is a habit of many people, but because of this habit, we often cannot communicate well and even hurt others.
In "Life Has No Detours in Vain", an example is given:
The young mother gave two apples to her young son to verify her godson's achievements, and then she waited for his son to give her one apple. But after the son caught the apple, he didn't even look at her, and he took a bite of each apple.
The young mother, of course, was very sad and was about to be angry to reprimand her son for his selfish greed. Who knew that at this moment, the childish son said in a milky voice: "Mom, you eat this apple, I have tasted it, not sour!"
Many are not what we see or imagine, so the more mature people know not to rush to make judgments, let alone to open their mouths.
Maturity has nothing to do with age, and has nothing to do with personality, maturity is not a wrinkle on the face, but a peace and calmness in the heart.
People who are not at peace in their hearts, always love to complain about things, people who are not calm in their hearts, when they encounter problems, they are either busy or panicked, and only truly mature people know how to be silent.
Silence is not an escape.
Mature people are calm, do not complain, do not complain, but look for solutions, come up with countermeasures, because they know that words are never as effective as actions.
Mature people are misunderstood and do not rush to argue, do not argue with others, because they know that language cannot testify for themselves, but time is the best proof.
As Li Ao said: "Sometimes explanation is unnecessary: the enemy does not believe your explanation, and the friend does not need your explanation." ”
Tao Li is speechless, self-contained, and mature people have such self-confidence.
Many people think that mature and silent people are mostly indifferent, but in fact, they are not indifferent, just more calm, do not make a fuss, do not feel that some setbacks are falling apart, they are used to hiding these three things.
If you have such people around you, and they are also accustomed to hiding these three things, then they must not be indifferent people, but people who have become silent because of maturity.
When we were young, we always had a lot of wishes, some of which could be fulfilled, some of which became regrets or precious memories that were occasionally mentioned over time, and the adult world was more realistic.
Mature people understand that wishes are fulfilled by action, and no one can pay for our wishes.
Linyuan envy fish, it is better to retreat to the net, try to achieve what you want, and act on what you like, which is the maturity of being responsible for yourself.
The more mature people are, the more they know that they don't have much time, and the more they know how to make good use of every moment, make their lives better, and bring themselves closer to their wishes and dreams.
Therefore, they do not put their wishes in their mouths, but hide them in action.
After all, what you want, to fight for yourself, a sign of a person's maturity is to know how to take responsibility for their own things, rather than counting on others to be responsible.
Therefore, it is enough to act silently.
Why are some people often emotional, while others are always very calm?
I want to cry when I'm sad, I want to give up when I'm tired, I want to vent when I'm angry... Everyone has emotions, but mature people know not to release these negative emotions at will.
When we are young, we want someone to share our negative emotions, so when we are sad and angry, we will always talk to people and find someone to vent, but mature people understand that no one in this world owes us, and no one can always soothe our emotions.
To grow, it is to learn to digest emotions on your own.
Everyone is hard, so it is the responsibility of mature people not to tell others about their hardships, not to expect others to comfort themselves, and to help alleviate this hardship.
When we were young, we cried because of a fall, and when we matured, we didn't know how many times we fell, but we told ourselves that crying was useless, and we got up and continued to walk to get through this bump.
Emotions are our own business, someone can share, it is a happy thing, no one can share, but also to grit their teeth and insist.
Therefore, it is good to know to adjust silently.
An immature person is always afraid that others will misunderstand himself, so he always constantly explains himself and refutes the other party, afraid of not being able to express his own ideas, afraid of others misinterpreting his own meaning, constantly expressing himself, and wanting to prove himself continuously through this.
However, the more you do this, the easier it is to form an opposition with people, and eventually become a verbal argument.
Mature people know how to be silent at the right time.
They speak more of praise and affirmation, but hide their objections in their mouths.
There are many people in this world, everyone has their own principles and bottom lines, what you think is intolerable, others may feel nothing, others feel unforgivable, you may have your own grievances.
If this is the case, how can we really understand the meaning of the other party?
In "Life does not take a detour in vain" there is such a story, the author has cooperated with a friend on a project before, he feels very careful, but when he accepts it, he hears various criticisms and suggestions, and he is very unhappy.
A friend called to talk about the revision, and before he could say anything, I told me a lot about my reasons and thoughts. Later, the two of us basically sang our own tunes, each saying its own set, and the conversation was not happy and dispersed, and as a result, neither of us showed their own thinking.
The friend said anxiously, can you talk? If you can't talk about it, let's talk on WeChat! Later, friends sent their ideas clearly on WeChat, in fact, some opinions are indeed very desirable, and after listening to these opinions, the problem is solved. In hindsight, a lot of things are bad because we didn't give the other person a chance to finish their words.
Therefore, the more mature a person is, the more he knows how to be silent, how to hide his opposition first, and listen to what others say, rather than rushing to express and prove himself.
True maturity is silent, tired to find an opportunity to rest, pain quietly endured, the more experienced, the less likely to make a fuss, beat the chest, so naturally become silent. It's just that this silence will become a sign of maturity, like a detour that seems to have been taken, and finally become our experience.
This is the meaning that the book "Life Has No Detours in Vain" wants to convey to us.
"Life does not take a detour in vain" is the first collection of healing essays of the well-known Great V Lama, the whole work is diluted, as written in the book: "When people reach middle age, they carry a deep and broad, through the passage of time, and feel the advent of tranquility." ”
Lama Brother was born into a pastoral family and worked as a teacher and civil servant. Since 2015, he has created nearly 5 million words of online articles, and published books such as "My Relatives on the Grassland" and "I Leave You in the Name of Snow Sealing the Road". He is a middle-aged uncle who crosses the slash of literature and music, photography, and homestay tourism, and his writing is warm and full of power, and many articles have been forwarded by well-known platforms such as People's Daily Ten O'Clock Reading and Xinhua Net.
【Poetry Man】There is no detour in vain in life ¥39.8 Purchase
Click on the bar above to go to pick up. Following his words, the reader is more determined about the future, more convinced that his life is not only life, but also poetry and far away.
This point of view expression: the growth, motivation and encouragement of emotional life. Don't give up, don't be afraid, don't settle. Welcome to @Big Cows & Mice Let's get better and more beautiful together!