I heard my friends talk about a topic: what is the difference between having a son and having a daughter?
A friend said, "Aren't boys and girls all the same?" As long as you can eat and sleep. ”
Some people also smiled and shook their heads: "When you wait for your children to grow up, you will know what 'different' means." ”
My neighbor's grandfather is in his 70s and has a son and a daughter.
When I asked him this question, he smiled meaningfully: "When I was young, I thought that having children was the same, but now, ah, alas, I dare not speak." ”
So, is "having children and daughters" the same or not? After 20 years, I knew that it was different, and the parents of 1 son and 1 daughter were silent.
One: the difference between raising sons and daughters
What is the difference between having a son and giving birth to a daughter?
(1) Expectations are different
When it comes to raising a son, the first expectation of parents is to "raise children to prevent old age".
Traditionally, boys have to shoulder family responsibilities, marry a wife, have children, and support their parents. When the parents are old, they have to rely on their sons to support their old age and rely on their sons.
The expectation of parents for their daughter is that they can often go home to see it in the future; can be delicate and intimate; can buy some clothes and supplies from time to time to be filial to their parents; Able to chat with parents.
Studies have shown that daughters tend to be more emotionally close to their parents and more actively involved in their parents' later years than sons.
The son pays more attention to "financial responsibility", but his emotional expression is relatively restrained.
Therefore, the older generation often says: "Raise children to prevent old age, and raise daughters to be intimate".
Although it sounds cheesy, it does have data to back it up - daughters are more likely to care more about their parents in life and psychology.
(2) Practical life is different
In 20 years, you'll find:
After the son gets married, he cares more about his wife and children, and they may usually live with their parents and will also provide financial help. But mostly, it is the parents who help take the baby to do housework.
Are parents short of clothes? Aren't you happy? If you feel unwell, should you go to the hospital?
The son has a bit of a big deal about these.
Even if your daughter gets married, she will call you and ask, "Mom and Dad, how have you eaten lately?" "Or go home and silently bring you a new dress or two or two.
However, after the daughter got married, she saw her parents a lot less.
Even sometimes when my daughter comes back, she is just a "guest", and the family comes for a meal and leaves the same day.
Many parents will feel that after their daughter gets married, she will be a member of "someone else's family", and she will no longer be a "family" with herself.
Two: a family with 1 son and 1 daughter
Since there are advantages and disadvantages regardless of whether you give birth to a son or a daughter, a family with 1 son and 1 daughter is always perfect, right?
The old man mentioned at the beginning of the article is a son and a daughter, but he said when he met people: "I thought that both children could be happy, but I didn't expect it to be like this." ”
It turned out that the old grandfather had a retirement salary, and he and his wife usually did not rely on their children to support the elderly, and the two of them lived very comfortably.
Unexpectedly, a few years ago, my wife was sick and hospitalized, and it took a lot of money.
The son said that such a large sum of money has to be shared equally with his daughter, half of each person.
But the daughter said that the old man has a pension, why can't he use the old man's money and have to share it with his daughter? Does the old man's pension have to be left to his son?
The son and daughter quarreled so much about this that they almost had a grudge.
In the end, the old man paid for the cure of his wife.
After this incident, the two old people also looked away: "We support our own pension, not relying on our children, and it is better to rely on ourselves than on anyone." ”
If you are raising 2 sons or 2 daughters, then, if the parents are sick or something, the two children have to run, and everyone has to bear it.
If there is only one child, then whether it is a son or a daughter, you are the only one to rely on your parents.
But if it's a son and a daughter, then it's more complicated to deal with this kind of thing.
If one of the sons and daughters has a wealthy family, it is good to be able to afford a large amount of money. If both parties have average family backgrounds, it is inevitable that there will be conflicts over the financial affairs of their parents.
The son will feel that my parents are not my alone, even if the daughter gets married, then you have to be filial to your parents.
But the daughter will feel that the house belongs to the son, and the parents' money is also the son's, so why is it the daughter's if she is sick?
Two people will inevitably have disputes over this kind of thing.
I thought that my children would be the happiest, but I didn't expect that in the end, it was the most difficult to deal with.
However, whether parents are happy or not does not depend on the sex of the child. If we can build a close relationship with our children, we can cultivate good moral character in them.
When we are old, whether it is a son or a daughter, we can enjoy a happy old age.
Do you think having a son is the same as having a daughter?
[The picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted]