When Luo Dayou, the godfather of music, was happy to have a daughter at the age of 57, when his ex-wife Li Lie was a guest of "Kangxi Lai", when asked "what does Luo Dayou feel like to give birth to a daughter", he said bluntly: "There is no feeling, I have no feeling for children, I am quite worried, so old, I can still be born." Frightened, Xiao S quickly stopped: "I'm afraid that Luo Dayou will block us." ”
Luo Dayou and Li Lie, who were known as "talented women" at that time, knew each other for 20 years and fell in love for 12 years, but their married life lasted only one year and nine months, which surprised many people at the same time, and could not help but feel sorry for it.
Is it easy to fall in love and difficult to get along with? Or is marriage the graveyard of love? Now that I think about it, maybe when I love each other, I just love and neglect to get along.
Li Lie debuted as a jade girl at the age of 18, starred in the movie "Story of a Small Town", the TV series "A Cut of Plum" and "Mimosa" were well known to mainland audiences, and was a goddess-level idol of that era.
At the beginning of her acquaintance with Luo Dayou, Luo Dayou was still a medical intern, who had just revealed his musical talent, and he felt sorry for Zhang Aijia, who was both talented and beautiful, and stepped into her marriage, which was a deep affection.
And Li Lie also had his first marriage, but this man who looked like his father was not very responsible, and after exhausting all of Li Lie's savings, the two broke up.
At that time, Li Lie and Luo Dayou often stayed with a group of friends in a café where insiders gathered, chatting about the literary and art films in Taiwan at that time, and after their release, they went to busy with their own affairs.
Eight years later, Luo Dayou, who returned to Taiwan from Hong Kong and resumed his singleness, met li Lie, who was also single, for dinner, and burst out a spark of love. At this time, Li Lie was 30 years old and Luo Dayou was 34 years old.
The two became lovers, and the trajectory of their lives did not change anything. Luo Dayou developed his music career in Hong Kong, and Li Lie continued to shoot in Taiwan, and when he was not filming, he also went to the mainland to do business.
When everything was over, Li Lie went back to Hong Kong to reunite with Luo Dayou for a week or two. This kind of gathering less and leaving more days did not make them alienated, but there was a kind of joy of "small farewell to the new marriage", which added a lot of points to the relationship between the two.
There is no romantic wind and snow moon, most of the time they are separated from the two places, just rely on the phone to maintain feelings.
Interestingly, these two people got together so hard that the topic of the chat was not you or me, but national affairs, and the conversation was very official politics, philosophy, and work.
Especially Luo Dayou, every once in a while will be fascinated by different things, like to share and communicate with Li Lie, so Luo Dayou is fascinated, Li Lie will follow what to learn.
At that time, the two lived in Hong Kong, and there was a street full of aquariums in Hong Kong, where Luo Dayou soaked every day, and every boss knew him.
Luo Dayou's addiction is very research spirit, buy a bunch of books on fish farming, aquatic weeds, aquarium landscaping to read, their home, the highest record is nine aquarium tanks, some fish farming, some aquatic weeds, and there are two super large.
However, Luo Dayou's fanaticism came and went quickly, and when he studied it thoroughly, he lost interest, and these fish and aquatic plants were thrown to Li Lielai for the aftermath.
In Li Lie's memory, once he and Luo Dayou drove up the mountain, not to see the night view, but to move stones.
Luo Dayou saw that there were beautiful stones on the side of the road, felt that it was very suitable for placing them in the aquarium, and excitedly asked Li Lie to move the big stones home with him.
While they moved, they were worried about being seen by others, so it was not exciting. Later, whenever he thought about it, Li Lie felt very funny and romantic.
In this "wandering" love, they spent three years of running-in, crossed the seven-year itch, survived the eight-year War of Resistance, and walked through ten years...
Luo Dayou has never wanted to get married, and Li Lie's marriage phobia, who has had an unhappy marriage, is not light. The two tacitly insisted that "love is good, but not married".
As Luo Dayou told reporters: "I always feel that Romeo and Juliet's feelings, if it is not 4 days but 4 years, the two will be finished long ago, and they will have been swollen with blue noses and swollen faces!" Li Lie also said: "Getting married is really nothing good."
Living together for such a long time, Luo Dayou and Li Lie did not restrain their personalities because of love, they were like Mars hitting the earth, arguing, arguing, arguing again, a few times, arguing until they ignored each other, quarreled until they broke up for months. It's just that the two can't give up this feeling, only compound.
Luo Dayou was originally an "angry youth", although he was old, he was still very sharp and childish, but his friends around him let his temper because of his talent, and he himself was pampered and spoiled by the old man in the family.
Li Lie said that she felt that urgent and important things, Luo Dayou felt that it was not important, Luo Dayou felt that important things, but she felt that there was nothing, and the two always argued in order to persuade each other.
Luo Dayou is like a child, he is easy to get mad when he is angry, like a crab spitting white foam and claws straight to grasp, Li Lie fights with silence, hides far away, and does not communicate until the qi subsides.
Li Lie's tolerance and kindness to Luo Dayou, Luo Dayou is clear, he said of Li Lie in the interview: "She has a good heart, will not take advantage of others, and also takes good care of me. After so many years together, she would always put a glass of water at the head of my bed, like a day for more than ten years. ”
When Li Lie was ridiculed for what was to be "strengthened", Luo Dayou would also laugh mischievously and say: "She is not as smart as me, sometimes I will tell her that the times are different, and I should think clearly about doing things!" ”
Li Lie listened to Luo Dayou's "comments" and fought back on the spot: "Don't you know what Dazhi Ruoyu means?" In front of smart men, women have to pretend to be stupid. If I wasn't smart enough, how could I pick you? The sweetness of this "needle hidden in the cotton" is a little special.
The relationship between Luo Dayou and Li Lie was already inseparable, and perhaps if marriage was a promise at that time, Luo Dayou would definitely be willing to prove his intentions with the action of signing. A seed of marriage has been planted in the hearts of the two, but it needs a suitable opportunity.
Soon the opportunity came, and in the twelfth year of their love, the two went to the United States. Since Li Lie did not get a U.S. passport, for her convenience in going abroad in the future, when passing by a church, Luo Dayou proposed to register for marriage.
Others seem to be more dramatic, but Luo Dayou is a little proud: "I have been with Li Lie for 12 years, and some couples who were not optimistic about us at first are divorced, but we are married, which is really strange." I think it's a kind of fate and effort. ”
It's just that after marriage, the two love to love, quarrel, plus busy work, pressure, the word "divorce" is gradually hanging on the mouth.
When there is no "one-paper marriage book" shackles, the two can still be free, do not care about those trivialities, once the mode of life is fixed, due to the different ideologies of the entanglement, it will become the bondage they all want to break free from and the stone hammer that is pressed in their hearts to overthrow.
As a result, Luo Dayou and Li Lie divorced, they did not quarrel and argue the plot, did not have a dog blood tearing war, and quietly embarked on the "old way home". It's just that people laugh and talk about the storm, and people are surprised to hear it.
In the two days after the formalities were completed, their relatives, friends and media called them one after another, leaving them busy receiving "divorce condolences" and explanations all day, and Li Lie smiled and said: "This is probably the most tragic part of the divorce." ”
Li Lie repeated the process, that is, to everyone, as if to say to himself: "It is true, we have thought it through." In fact, we have broken up many times in 13 years. The longer we spend together, the more involved, the more difficult it is to break up, we are friends, life and work are too close, to share, it is really a difficult thing.
The reasons for divorce are hard to say, too many things are difficult to communicate! Sometimes I feel wronged, and he also has a lot of grievances, and no one is right or wrong.
Before marriage, we do not have the general way of communication between men and women, and after marriage, we are not like the relationship of ordinary couples. So, for now, divorce is good for both of us. The relationship has deteriorated and we want to turn it into good energy and not let the relationship deteriorate. ”
Li Lie believes that newly acquainted couples may quarrel over small things such as picking up and dropping off workers and buying flowers and gifts; newly married couples may also quarrel because they are too loud to sleep.
However, the two people have been together for more than ten years, and these trivial issues must have been compromised and resolved, so the dispute between her and Luo Dayou has jumped out of the discord of a single incident, which is a difference in concept.
It seems that the clouds are light and the wind is light, and a relationship can not be separated from this, or "like a beautiful slogan that can't go away". Three years after the divorce, Li Lie, when talking about Luo Dayou, was still in tears.
When she walked out of that house, there was not a single valuable belonging around her, and in the years when the two were together, Li Lie did not ask for Luo Dayou's living expenses, and li Lie ate whatever he ate for three meals.
Every time there was a quarrel, she was the one who compromised first, and she would not buy any jewelry or jewelry. Li Lie is in the lower kitchen, he can go to the vegetable market to buy vegetables, and he can also personally lead a group of more than 1,000 relatives and friends from Taiwan to help support in Luo Dayou's tour.
Once upon a time, when the prelude to "The Story of Time" sounded on the stage, many people in the audience burst into tears. "Orphans of Asia", "Lukang Town", "Childhood", "Love Song 1990", "Tomorrow Will Be Better", "The Hur Also", "The Way You Look", "Rolling Red Dust"............
There is no need to follow the chronological order, the degree of liking, any capital can become a work of the gods, like a navigation lamp leading generations. It was only the talented God who ignored the concerned gaze behind the applause.
For a while, Luo Dayou was madly obsessed with "The Phantom of the Opera", and every night he had to listen to it very loudly, which made Li Lie sleep badly and reached the position of mental weakness.
When Li Lie proposed that the music sound was smaller, Luo Dayou replied with dissatisfaction, or a person is free and can do creative work at will. The helpless Li Lie could only endure, but forbearance may not make the other party wake up from unconsciousness.
After Luo Dayou and Li Lie divorced for a period of time, Luo Dayou learned from his friends that li Lie could sleep no matter what kind of noisy and noisy environment he was in, and he felt that he had inadvertently done harm to her, and he could not help but apologize.
This is when you are with yourself, you are trained in life. The apologetic Luo Dayou specially wrote a poem "Ah! Can't Stop Loving", specially to say goodbye to Li Lie.
“...... Even though I was covered in scars and tears, it was not easy for the upside-down servant to survive here, and I still saw that you were silently following... It is not that the ice and snow that have not passed through the chaos and collapse, the courage of youth when committing to youth, is not as good as the cherishing of changing hearts and minds... Let this desolate hands, holding the residual warmth emanating from your eyes, count the black hair that changes color, and tell me what kind of miracle this is..."
Luo Dayou also said that in fact, it is all small things in life, but he is too willful and self-sufficient, which has caused such a result, and it is right to throw away a negative man.
Luo Dayou, who is determined not to marry again, has children and enters into marriage with his current girlfriend again, but this time he is soft, no sharpness, no rebellion, no cynicism.
In fact, Luo Dayou and Li Lie also thought about having children, and never deliberately contraception, but unfortunately God did not send them for care. Today's Li Lie has long since come out of the past and become an excellent producer, winning the praise of Ruan Jingtian and the popularity of Peng Yuyan.
He also won the 47th Golden Horse Awards for Outstanding Filmmaker in Taiwan for his film "Mengjia".
She summed herself up: "Before the age of 30, I was a brainless woman; at the age of 42, I deeply realized that it was impossible to find a man like my father in this life; and two marriages made me understand that it was more important to love myself than to let anyone love me." ”
No matter whose life, is in the continuous experience, to find their own status, the past do not think about regrets, rather than sink regrets it is better to change themselves.