Have you ever experienced in your relationship that you have the other person as if you have the whole world, you have the smile of the other person as if you have the praise of the whole world; when you hug each other, you will feel that every cell of yourself is excited and reveling, and every inch of skin is cheering. The male protagonist Tom in "500 Days with Summer" experienced this most beautiful and ecstatic happiness, but at the same time he also experienced the pain, dazedness and regret of falling to the bottom in the face of a sudden breakup.
Many times, we are longing for true love to appear, but do we know what love really is? When we think of the appearance of the true son or soul mate in life, who knows if it will be fate together or a fateful miss?
The film "500 Days with Summer" attempts to irregularly string together some special days in the 500 days of the male and female protagonists through dates, depicting the relationship between men and women and the true feelings of love.
(The following contains spoilers, so be careful with your mind.) ）
The film was shot in Freud's psychoanalytic theory paradigm, especially in the first two minutes or so through the story of Tom Thompson. Hansen) and Shamo. (Summer· Fin's upbringing before the encounter was already hinting at the development of the relationship.
So I tried to analyze the emotions of the male and female protagonists from a psychoanalytic point of view, so that the destined love became less elusive.
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In psychoanalytic work, sorting out the growth experience is an essential task. We believe that understanding a person's growth experience can better understand a person's character formation and what happens in the relationship, and it is possible to find a solution to the gap between reality and expectations.
The name is given by the parents, pinning on the parents' expectations of the child, and the meaning of the name will also bring a lot of psychological hints to the child.
Tom Hansen Tom in Hansen is a very common name among boys, and even the English name for Tom & Jerry is Tom & Jerry. Hansen is a dutch-speaking name meaning that people are introverts who deeply desire to have a stable, loving family or community that needs to work with and be appreciated by others.
From Tom Hansen The name Hansen) shows that his personality will be introverted and passive, and his heart will be eager for good relationships.
Summer. (Summer· Summer in Fin) is meant to be summer, and it's also a season of energy and enthusiasm. And Fin means the end in French.
From Shamo. (Summer· Fin) name can be seen that her character will be sunny and enthusiastic, but the end will be her destiny.
From the growth experience of two people, Tom Hansen (Tom · Hansen) is more influenced by tragic British songs in his life, and his heart is very empty and lonely, and he can't believe that someone can be willing to accompany him.
It's like the bubbles that Tom played with when he was a child, everything was like a phantom, and it was easy to burst.
Tom's favorite sport as a child was football, which implied that he cared about interpersonal connections and confrontations, and longed for a sense of belonging.
Tom's favorite art as a child was playing the guitar, but in fact, he also longed to be able to play his own voice, to be able to show and be appreciated by others.
And Shamo. (Summer· Fin) experienced the divorce of her parents, and all she could care about was her long, dark hair, and the ability to cut that black hair at any time without feeling anything. Summer is prone to pessimistic and painful experiences of emotional relationships, and will be so sensitive to her disappointment in relationships that she will eventually choose to end the relationship without hesitation. This will allow Summer to gain control over emotions and even pain and disappointment.
It's like Shamo calling himself an "Anal Girl," where there is a stage in psychoanalysis called the Anal Stage, where the individual needs autonomy and control.
Summer's attitude towards affection is like the dandelion she played with when she was a child, blowing it around with the wind.
Summer's favorite sport was horseback riding, which, from a psychoanalytic point of view, is a symbol of the individual's attempt to ride and obtain a sense of pleasure on a physiological level.
The art that Summer loved as a child was dancing, and more often than not, she gained the attention and appreciation of others by showing her own vitality.
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Many times determine whether two people can fall in love at first sight, or can see each other when they meet each other, which is closely related to each other's expectations of love. All of this needs a process, but many times we will choose to ignore these processes.
From the film, we can find that When Summer and Tom first met, they did not immediately feel for each other, but after the two slowly contacted each other, they gradually found that each other's expectations and wishes could be satisfied in the relationship between the two, which made the two people get closer and closer.
Because of the influence of his upbringing, Tom's desire for affection is to find a significant other who can be proactive, actively focused on, and tolerant of himself.
Therefore, In Summer's continuous initiative in the relationship between the two, expressing his appreciation and encouragement for Tom's talent, as well as his willingness to open up his desires, this allowed Tom to find a sense of love.
What Summer longs for is a relationship that can be controlled by himself, a relationship that starts and ends at his own pace and wishes, and a relationship that allows him to experience excitement and pleasure. Tom is quite passive in the relationship, and many things are willing to listen to Summer's arrangement, so this also allows Summer to gain a strong sense of control in the relationship.
At the same time, Tom is willing to try many ways and means to release desire with Summer, and Summer also feels more and more intense passion in her emotions.
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The so-called love model includes not only the mode of getting along between two people, but also the mode of running in and resolving conflicts between two people. These patterns of love will slowly develop as we grow up interacting with important others, especially parents or important nurturers.
From the growth experience of the two, we can see that Tom is a passive introvert in the relationship, accustomed to suppressing his inner feelings, and even does not know how to express his inner anger, grievances and sadness.
In the relationship, Tom will also be more inclined to show himself, eager to be recognized by others, rather than taking the initiative to care about each other's preferences, and communicate with each other to communicate their ideas and expectations.
This is like to play football and guitar like Tom, focusing on winning and losing in relationships and performance.
And Summer is more in an active state in the relationship. But her heart is easily disappointed by feelings, and she is very sensitive to the pain and disappointment of feelings. She prefers to allow herself to enjoy the passion in her relationship, and is afraid to admit that her emotions are involved.
When Summer encounters emotional conflicts and problems, on the one hand, he tends to respond to the other party's concern for himself with passion, in fact, this is like Summer is good at riding and dancing.
On the other hand, she is more inclined to end the relationship decisively in the face of emotional pain and disappointment. She only cares about what she wants to do, not what it will do to others.
It was like Summer treating his own black hair, cutting it off without feeling anything.
One is more depressed in feelings, and does not know how to express their inner thoughts and feelings; the other is more inclined to escape and stay away from the contradictions and conflicts in feelings. This led to the inability of the two to really run into each other in the relationship, and eventually the two gradually drifted apart.
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In fact, are Tom and Summer destined for true love?
I would feel that they have a destined fate because of their fit with each other; but they are also destined to miss, because the pattern of their relationship with each other has no chance to run into.
But they all made each other,
Tom lets Summer slowly dissolve the wall in his heart in the relationship, and Summer is finally willing to accept marriage;
And Summer let Tom learn to be more active in the relationship to open himself and accept feelings, Tom is finally willing to take the initiative to invite the girl who is interesting to him, Autumn.
So their love grows together in the summer and harvests separately in the fall.
Although there are sorrows and regrets, there are also goodness and fulfillment.
What do you think?