Author: Insight Hongzhuang
Teenagers do not know strict fatherly feelings, and adults know the kindness of their fathers.
01
A few days ago, I saw a particularly touching video.
At Shanghai's Pudong Airport, a man is lying on the ground.
He peeked anxiously through the narrow slits of the partition toward the customs window.
It turned out that his children were going to study abroad, and as a father, he came to send them off.
The child stood in the ranks of the passport check, slowly moving forward, and in a short while, he disappeared behind the customs window.
He could not enter, and could only quietly "see" the children who had already entered the customs in such a posture.
The video is only 9 seconds, but it has poked the tears of countless people.
There were many moments when we were striding forward, and my father was carefully chasing behind us.
Finally, at a certain moment, they couldn't catch up, and could only stand where they were and watch us drift away.
Just like the father of Pudong Airport.
In the worry and waiting for the children, it slowly blurred into a rickety back.
I couldn't help but think of the back of another father.
In 1917, Zhu Ziqing's grandmother died, and he rushed back to Xuzhou from Beijing to go home with his father for funerals.
After the funeral, he returned to Beijing to study, and his father went to Nanjing to seek trouble, so the father and son went together.
Before leaving, my father crossed the long platform to buy him oranges.
Wearing a small black cloth hat, a black cloth coat, and a dark green cloth cotton robe, he staggered to the side of the railway and slowly leaned down, it was not too difficult.
But he crossed the railway track, and it was not easy to climb the platform over there.
He climbed up with both hands and shrank his feet upwards; his fat body leaned slightly to the left, showing the appearance of effort. ”
Looking at his father's back, Zhu Ziqing burst into tears.
02
Zhu Ziqing was the eldest son in the family, and his father, Zhu Hongjun, had high hopes for him, hoping that he would one day be able to honor his ancestors.
Therefore, Zhu Ziqing was particularly harsh and harsh on him.
When he was a child, Zhu Ziqing's father was a mountain-like being, mighty and powerful, but cold and hard.
In 1916, with excellent results, Zhu Ziqing was admitted to Peking University.
During his stay at Peking University, Zhu Ziqing actively participated in the May Fourth Patriotic Movement and the Civilian Education Lecture Group, which gave him a new idea of pursuing personality independence.
But I don't want to, which makes the already unfamiliar father-son relationship worse.
Zhu Hongjun was born in the eighth year of Tongzhi and lived in the Qing Dynasty for most of his life, so he firmly believed that "the father is the son".
He felt that Zhu Ziqing's struggle for liberation was a challenge to his authority.
More importantly, he feared that Zhu Ziqing would self-destruct his future.
Therefore, the son's pursuit of democracy has become a disobedient filial piety in the eyes of his father;
And the father's painstaking efforts have also become stubborn and pedantic in the son's heart.
When the relationship between father and son was at its sharpest, Zhu Hongjun even turned his son, who had returned from thousands of miles away, from his home.
Since then, the father and son have not been in contact for many years.
In 1925, Zhu Ziqing received a family letter from his father in Yangzhou.
In it, a sentence "I am in good health, but my shoulders are in severe pain, I hold up a pen, many inconveniences, and the period of about the end is not far away", which deeply stung Zhu Ziqing, who was already a father.
He recalled the bits and pieces about his father, remembered the scene of his father bidding him farewell at the station eight years ago, and suddenly understood his father's previous painstaking heart.
So in the crystal tears, he created the famous "Back Shadow".
In the text, Zhu Ziqing sighed: "In the past two years, he has finally forgotten my bad, just thinking about me and thinking about his son." ”
Father, this man who has been stubborn and tough all his life, has always left us the softest place in his heart, with his most tender love.
Just like Zhu Ziqing's father, in his later years, he always wrote to him on the grounds that he missed his grandson.
But in fact, inside and outside the letter, he was more worried about Zhu Ziqing.
03
The relationship between Zhu Ziqing and his father, Zhu Hongjun, is actually a portrayal of the fate of all Chinese fathers and sons.
A young and stubborn man who only wants to break away from discipline in order to prove his independence;
A middle-aged man stubbornly paves the way for his children because he does not want them to suffer the suffering he has suffered.
Again and again, they crave communication, and they want to talk again and again.
Obviously, blood is thicker than water, and they love and kill each other.
Born father and son connected to the heart, in the end like a strange road.
As the writer @Liu Na said:
"Fathers who are eager for their children to become talented and afraid of their children's pride are good at monitoring their children's growth in a repressive way, and always want to guide their lives with their own experience."
Children who are eager to get rid of their father's limitations and stubbornness always try to prove that they are different from their fathers, but in the end they find that no matter how far they go, they cannot escape their father's attention.
The biggest problem between us and our father is that we are not good at expressing ourselves, and we are accustomed to accumulating emotions in our hearts and turning deep love into silence. ”
From the dependence of childhood to the rebellion of teenagers, from the disgust of adulthood to the understanding of middle age, there always seems to be a long distance between us and this man who is called "father".
Even rationally, we understand that behind our father's taciturn silence lies a deep and deep love.
But emotionally, we are always unable to overcome the invisible mountain between us and our father, and we cannot respond to our father's wordless expectations.
In the end, you can only be estranged from him until you drift apart.
Perhaps, at some point in our future lives, we will understand:
Father's love is like a mountain, regardless of years.
When I was a child, I always felt that the man who did not smile and did not speculate with us did not love him.
It wasn't until people reached middle age and became fathers and mothers that they suddenly realized:
It turned out that behind his father's cold face was a hot licking feeling.
Every time you encounter difficulties, it is the man who you feel does not hurt you; every time you encounter danger, it is the man who you think does not love you.
He uses his flesh and blood to keep the thorns of life out of the door of the house and care for you in the bottom of your heart.
He loves you far more than himself.
04
The writer Ergen once wrote in his masterpiece:
"Father's love, completely different from mother's love, is more subtle, more speechless, like a mountain.
When you look at him as a child, he is your protector; when you look at it as a teenager, he seems to become an obstacle to your eyes; when you are young, you may feel that he has become shorter, and you think that you are taller than him.
But in middle age, when you look at the mountain again, you will suddenly find:
He was always there, all the time silently watching his pride, arrogance, selfishness, and narrow-mindedness, and he was all inclusive, silently inclusive. ”
Father's love is like a mountain, it is a wordless guardianship and love, and it is also a silent lifting and fulfillment.
Give it a thumbs up, and while it's still early, do your father's filial piety.
Don't wait until the mountain collapses to realize that it's too late.