If the salary for eight years of work goes to her parents, does the oppressed daughter deserve it?

Text | Rice grain mother

The rice mother has seen so many news about squeezing her daughter, and it is the most high-sounding statement of the parents.

One girl posted online that she had been working outside the home with her parents since she was 16, and her parents used her young age as a reason to "keep it for her" and label her as "dowry".

Until she resigned in 2022, the girl who has worked for 8 years does not have a penny on her.

This year, she is going to get married, but her parents are only willing to give 50,000 or 60,000 yuan if they say anything, you know, the dowry of her daughter in the local area is at least 100,000.

At first, the girl felt that her savings for 8 years of part-time work were in the hands of her parents, and it was not too much to want a dowry of 100,000 yuan.

Later, I began to reflect on whether I should be considerate of my parents and no longer ask for a salary return.

When the rice mother saw this sentence, she completely understood that the parents obviously wanted to use their eldest daughter's money to raise their children.

Even more infuriating, there is a comment that says:

Really selfish, raised you so big, work has always lived at home, did not give living expenses, and is embarrassed to return the salary?

The rice mother really can't help but want to calculate this account, looking at the girl's salary, the total income in 8 years is at least 400,000, even if half of the living expenses are deducted, at least 200,000 can be saved.

What's more, a pair of parents who want to squeeze their daughter hard, and are willing to spend how much money on her.

Now she just wants a dowry of 100,000 yuan, where is selfishness, where is excessive?

On the contrary, it is the parents, who said that they would help save money, but in the end they became swallowing money.

And Our Lady persuaded the girl to confess, which should be rewarded for the grace of nurturing.

Girls drop out of school at the age of 16 to work, and the grace of parenting should also draw a question mark. Moreover, even if you want to repay your parents, you should make it clear at the beginning, rather than forcing your daughter to admit it in the end.

In the end, having a daughter is to invest, using her as an ATM, so what is the life and happiness of a daughter to them?

Remember the 28-year-old girl who broke down in the shoe store and cried?

The girl just wanted to buy a pair of 200 yuan sneakers, and her parents strongly disagreed.

No matter how much the girl pleaded, her parents walked out without looking back, she first angrily dropped the things in her hand on the ground, then knelt on the ground and roared loudly.

She kept kowtowing to her parents, broke down and cried, and shouted in her mouth: "Aren't you a lot of money, the money is saved for you, and my feet are so cheap?" ”

It turned out that at the age of 28, she still could not control her own salary, and even 200 yuan could not be taken out at all.

But seeing their daughter screaming, crying, and kneeling in public, the parents did not react at all, but said indifferently: You are normal.

Mother Migrain is really powerless, a girl of nearly 30, her own human lifeline is still tightly pinched in the hands of her parents, she does not even have the power to buy a pair of shoes, how can she control her future.

Some people hate that iron is not steel, and blame their daughters for not taking the initiative to get rid of their parents, but what Migrain's mother wants to say is that after being imprisoned and controlled for so long, girls may not be able to get rid of such parents at all.

We don't know why parents keep controlling their wages, let alone what they do with them, and why they don't spend them on their daughters.

But what is certain is that this girl's supposed bright youth has been easily erased by her parents.

There is also that Hangzhou reality version of Fan Shengmei-Luoluo, who is also used as a blood pack by her parents, and even after death, she cannot avoid becoming a tool for her parents to make profits.

Other people's 23-year-old girls still live a life of thousands of pampered parents, but Luoluo has become a free cash flow for her parents, and she was asked for 10,000 or 20,000 by her parents just after paying her salary.

I hesitated to even have a pair of shoes for a few hundred yuan for a month, but my mother used her daughter's money to buy the latest Apple phone.

When she wants a promotion and a raise, her parents' first reaction is not to be happy for her, but to be excited that their daughter can give her more money.

Under the pressure of his parents day after day, Luoluo could not see the meaning of life and chose to end his life.

But the parents still thought at this time that they would use their daughter's death to blackmail the company with a sum of money and pay a down payment for their son's house.

The heinous parents, the always invisible son, point to the daughter who is infinitely oppressed, and also doom her short and tragic life.

I don't know if you have noticed that the oppressed daughters seem to have a pair of patriarchal parents.

Zhihu question "How serious can patriarchal preference be?" has nearly 6,000 answers, each of which is a scar that a girl does not want to uncover.

What makes Migrain Mama unbelievable is that even an only daughter may still be tortured under this thought.

There is a girl who was born in the era of family planning, and her parents have always hated her as an obstacle to having a son.

Therefore, I always believe that being able to raise my daughter has been exhausted, and everything about my daughter should be unreservedly dedicated to her parents.

So after the girl started working, the parents took the salary directly, leaving only 500 yuan a month for the daughter's living expenses.

The girls wanted to go out and play, but their parents refused because traveling would only waste the money they were about to get.

When the girl discovered that her parents were wrong and refused to hand over her salary, her parents began to change the law to ask for money, asking for all kinds of valuable gifts, and asking her to pay her cousin's living expenses.

It's really hard for Mother Mi to understand, if she can be so good to other people's daughters, why can't she have even a little more pity for her own daughter?

What's more frightening is that the parents' patriarchal preference has reached the point of madness, and they even ask their daughter to "raise" their nephew and pay for him to make up for his homework.

Oh my God, this is the girl's nephew, not her son.

Refuse? The parents scolded the girl for not finishing the meal, and they had to go to the company to make a big fuss, and even put down the cruel words: Do you think you can escape the palm of my hand?

Always staring at their daughter's money, there is no concern in the words only orders, such parents, is it really still parents?

There are too many people in the comment area to persuade her to leave quickly and cut off contact with her parents, but she has a stable job and a loving boyfriend, and she can't leave easily.

But it is this happiness that others dream of, and her parents still have to break it with their own hands, and they force her to break up with her boyfriend with good conditions, and turn her head to marry the blind date they chose, just for more bride price.

The girl tried to resist, she was admitted to a place far away from her parents, thinking that she could escape control, but the parents still did not let their daughter go.

They go to her boyfriend's workplace to make trouble, go to her boyfriend's house to make a fuss, and Migrain's mother can even imagine her daughter's shame and guilt in the face of her beloved.

In the end, the relationship was disturbed, the girl began to feel that life was meaningless, and the last update stopped in May of this year.

I don't know if she has survived now, but Mi Li's mother is sure that the parents do not want their daughter to live a happy life at all.

There are too many girls with the same fate.

Some girls are brainwashed into becoming disciples, but when they wake up, it is too late;

Some girls have been regarded as maids since childhood, and they have not received the slightest respect for taking care of the family;

Some girls have to endure the beatings and scolding of their parents even if they do not make mistakes, but they watch their younger brothers receive all kinds of pampering...

The blood and tears between the lines are the hardships they have suffered in life because of their preference for sons, and they are also suspicious and demeaning themselves from their hearts.

They also think they don't deserve love, and even want to give up on themselves and ruin their lives.

They never understood what they had done wrong to be treated like this.

But Mother Migrain wants to say that there is nothing wrong with you being born a woman, it is those who hurt you because of son preference, and those who are wrong are those who do not deserve to be called parents.

But what should they do?

Last year, a case exploded the hot search: her sister refused to buy a house for her brother and was sued by her parents.

The cause of the incident is that Ms. Zhang's parents prefer sons to daughters, and she was abandoned by her parents to live with her aunt when she was 2 years old.

Saying that it is a residence, in fact, she is raised by her aunt and uncle, while her biological parents are busy giving birth and taking care of her younger brother.

On the surface, the economic conditions are not good, and she cannot take her daughter back, but in fact, even the phone calls are rare, and Ms. Zhang has no feelings for the so-called parents.

Until Ms. Zhang's career was successful and she paid for a house for her cousin, her parents immediately began to dedicate their diligence, after all, they can buy a house for their cousin, and naturally they also have to buy a house for their own brother.

You see, some people can be so shameless.

I haven't put in the slightest bit of energy for more than 20 years, but I don't want to leave behind the slightest benefit.

(Rice grain mother also wrote a similar story before: the younger brother is getting married, and they rely on the sister who abandoned them 20 years ago)

Ms. Zhang clearly refused, and even said that she would never buy a house for her brother.

Angry, the parents took their daughter to court and demanded 500,000 alimony.

In their opinion, I didn't raise you, but you must support me. You have been an adult for 10 years and have not given alimony, 500,000 is already normal.

Mother Rice thinks this is a big joke. Parents still have the ability to act, they want to squeeze their daughter, not to mention that they want their daughter, who has not been close for many years, to buy a house for their younger brother.

Ms. Zhang also resolutely refused to give in and went to court directly with her biological parents, and the court held that "Ms. Zhang's brother, as an adult, Ms. Zhang has no need or should not raise her, and the pressure to buy a house should not be borne by her." ”

The result of the court trial did make everyone breathe a sigh of relief, but Mi Li's mother felt that the most important thing was that it also gave Ms. Zhang the confidence to start a new life.

She can not be morally kidnapped by her biological parents, she can leave the past behind and live her own life.

In this life, there is no need for someone who does not care about her.

Similar experiences, there is also Xiao Jingjing, a girl who was accused by Zhou Libo because she did not want to recognize her biological parents.

Xiao Jingjing, who was also a baby because her parents preferred sons to daughters, was thrown into the hospital lawn by her parents in the cold winter, but fortunately met her kind adoptive parents and survived.

The adoptive parents' family conditions were not rich, but they tried their best to provide her with education, until she began to study for a doctorate, and her biological parents suddenly appeared, willing to take 500,000 yuan to recognize their daughter.

Xiao Jingjing refused, and his parents went on TV again, hoping to use the power of public opinion to make their daughter submit.

Let's not talk about the right or wrong of this family, just say that their approach, do they really take into account their daughter's feelings?

What is even more infuriating is that they would not have thought that a baby was likely to die when they left their child in the wind and snow. Just because the child I didn't want has grown up well, do you remember your remaining conscience?

Faced with the tears of her biological parents, Xiao Jingjing just replied firmly: "I don't want your money, and I won't recognize you back, my father is here, and my mother has passed away." ”

But it was this sentence that made her kidnapped by morality, and the reason was also very old-fashioned: parents in the world.

But Mother Mi wants to say that this sentence itself is a false proposition.

Children come to the world without choice, and those who have the right to decide are obviously adults, how can they regard childbirth as a kind of kindness and blackmail?

Those girls who have been poisoned by sons over women want to get rid of the misfortune of their original families, and there is no way but ruthlessness and determination.

Because parents are no longer harbors, but have become blood-sucking devils, and in their eyes, daughters are not children, but unlimited passbooks that they can take and want.

Life is to live for yourself, not to pay debts for others, to stay away from pain, in order to approach happiness. Finally, I will tell you a story: my grandmother, when she was just born, was abandoned by her family because she was a girl, and put on the frozen ice;

As a result, one night later, her grandmother was alive and did not freeze to death, and her mother couldn't bear it and took her home. That's how Grandma grew up.

When I was born, because I was a girl, my grandmother tried to convince my parents to give me away and let my parents have another son......... Of course, Grandpa Mi did not follow her advice, my grandmother has been very good to me for so many years, but even this matter is still a hurdle that I can't get over for many years.

Personal profile: @米粒妈爱分享 rice grain mother, American returnee, Haidian parent. Focus on learning dry goods, educational experience and further education.