13-year-old forced to eat feces: More than 60% of children will not tell their parents after being bullied, what should they do?
Text | Rice grain mother
A recent hot search news made Rice Mom's heart explode.
A 13-year-old boy in Shanxi was forced to eat by three minors!! And the three bullies actually filmed the whole process on video, and proudly posted the video on the Internet!
Simply lawless!
From the video, we can see a boy sitting on the ground with a heart-shaped box with feces in front of his eyes. The boy was retching as he pulled feces into his mouth.
But as soon as the boy stopped, the bully next to him said aggressively that he wanted to "teach him a lesson", and the child was so frightened that he had to continue to stuff.
Stuffing feces into his mouth was disgusting enough, but the bullies didn't feel enough and asked the boy to "swallow" the.
The boy couldn't help but gag, and the bully continued to threaten him: "You try to spit it out", and the boy could only say in a voice with fear, "No, no, no, I eat, I eat." ”
But what happened later made Migrain's mother feel even more distressed.
The reporter's investigation found that the boy who was bullied came from a particularly poor family. His mother suffers from mental illness and is unable to work, and his father is busy with his livelihood all year round and probably has little time to take care of his children.
What made people even more angry was that the poor boy was not only forced to eat, but also beaten.
The boy's father originally did not know that the child was forced to eat poop, but he found out that the child was injured in the head on the second day of the incident and was beaten to the point that he was not in normal spirits, so he reported it to the police station.
After waiting two or three days, the boy's father saw the video on the Internet, and his heart was really uncomfortable like being stabbed.
But when the police contacted the bully's parents, the other party said that they were only willing to pay a few thousand yuan as compensation. After more than ten days, I don't know if it was because of the pressure of public opinion, the other party suddenly called, asked the boy's father to go to the police station to sign a document, and then gave 45,000.
The boy's father signed a settlement agreement. That is, take the money, sign it, and forget it.
As soon as the news came out, netizens expressed their incomprehension, and some netizens also accused the boy's father of "seeing money". His son has suffered such a great shame, how can he calm down and not let these children eat the poop back, how can he relieve his hatred?
But soon after, the boy's aunt posted something on the Internet that gave us a glimpse of the other side of the story.
The boy's aunt told everyone that the child's father had no culture, and the day after the incident, he went to the police station to call the police, but the second reply and progress on the matter was half a month later in the evening.
The comrades at the police station told him that there was a solution to the matter and let him go to the police station alone.
The solution: get the parents to reach a settlement.
The child's aunt questioned: "Who has ever taken the victim's father away at 10:30 p.m., and did not let the relevant people in, until after two o'clock in the morning." We all know that my brother-in-law is illiterate! ”
The aunt meant that the child's mother was mentally ill, and the father was illiterate and illiterate, and when he signed the agreement, the police station fooled him into signing it, and at that time he did not clearly explain the seriousness of the matter.
The remarks posted by the child's aunt on the Internet have also attracted the attention of relevant departments. After many days of investigation and negotiation, this matter also came to an end:
In this case, because all three of Lang's first class were minors under the age of 14, the public security organs, in accordance with Article 12 of the Law of the People's Republic of China on Administrative Punishments for Public Security, did not punish Lang and the first class three (bullies) according to law, and ordered their guardians to strictly discipline them. The school gave a penalty of demerit to Lang and three people of the first class.
The boy was sent to a second-class A hospital for treatment, and the education department of Jiexiu City provided him with daily psychological counseling. At the same time, at the request of parents, the school will adjust the children to the new campus in the new semester and help the children's learning and life.
Eventually, the boy and parents accepted an apology from the bully and his guardian. This is the end of the matter.
In this incident, the most puzzling and distressing point of the rice mother is that after the child was forced to eat poop, she did not tell the family, but suffered everything silently.
Why doesn't the child say it? Is it that the parents are not capable of protecting him, or is the child already used to bullying?
This reminded Mi Li Ma of an incident that occurred in Anhui half a year ago.
In December 2022, a father in Anhui Province stumbled upon a video of school bullying while swiping his mobile phone, showing a teenage child being severely beaten by three people.
At first, he just thought the kid was pitiful. But the more he looked at it, the more he felt that something was wrong, how could the child who was beaten be so much like his own son?
At first, the father was still lucky, thinking that the two children might just look alike. But when he brought the child in for examination, he found that his son was indeed covered in injuries.
The heartbroken father quickly sent the child to the hospital and contacted the head teacher.
After questioning, the child's father learned that the bullies and his son were classmates in the same school. The scoundrels threatened to "wait and see" as long as he told others about it.
The poor child was beaten for more than a month, and he did not dare to speak. If it wasn't for his dad accidentally swiping the video, he wouldn't know when to hide it...
Coincidentally.
On April 3, 2021, Zhao Bing, a 14-year-old boy from Qiqihar, Heilongjiang, fell into a river and disappeared. It was not until two months later that Zhao Bing's body was found.
At first, the child's parents thought it was an accident, and after police investigation, they learned that the child was bullied to death.
On that day, eight children in the village had been chasing Zhao Bing, forcing him into the ice that showed signs of melting.
Zhao Bing saw that the ice was not firm and wanted to walk back, but the other children threatened him and killed him if they dared to return. Desperate, Zhao Bing had to gamble and move forward cautiously. As a result, he fell and never got up again.
The police also found that Zhao Bing had been bullied by these children for a long time. For a long time, those children liked to beat Zhao Bing for fun when they were fine, and they also posted videos of beating him to QQ groups to "show off" with their classmates.
But although Zhao Bing has been bullied for a long time, he did not tell his parents, and their parents did not know anything about it.
Unfortunately, there are many, many children like Zhao Bing.
A 2010 American Center for Educational Development study pointed out that 64% of children did not tell others after being bullied, and only 36% chose to tell others afterwards to seek help.
What a heart-wrenching fact! Perhaps, where we can't see, the child we hold in the palm of our hands is being bullied and enduring unimaginable pain.
Speaking of which, perhaps many parents have the same worries as rice mothers: school bullying is hidden so deeply, and children may not tell the truth to their parents, how can we know if our children are bullied at school?
Migrain's mother's colleague child really experienced such a thing.
The child originally had good grades and was also very motivated, but for a while he didn't know what was going on, and suddenly he was tired of school and unwilling to study.
At first, his mother thought that the child was just lazy and disciplined the child well. The child was forced to go back to school, but his mood became lower and lower day by day, and even his weight lost several pounds one after another.
The strangest thing is that the child's spirit is also becoming more and more trance, and in just one week, he lost his mobile phone, watch and some cash.
Seeing that the child was getting more and more wrong, his mother paid attention to it, and secretly went to the school gate after school to keep an eye on it.
This staring finally found the cat. It turns out that the child will be charged a "protection fee" by a group of punks every day on the way from school, and it has been collected for some time.
At this time, the mother's heart ached, how she regretted that because of her negligence, she let her child be bullied for so long.
Later, the child's mother told me that in fact, the child's state during that time was quite abnormal, but he was busy with work, did not care too much, and did not think about school bullying at all.
For example, the child's things are often lost inexplicably, and she thinks that it is because the child is lost, but it is actually blackmailed. Also, the child was originally very cheerful and motivated, but suddenly did not want to go to school, and often said that he had nightmares at night and could not sleep.
Every time he asked him if he was unhappy at school, he always said "it's okay", and the child's mother did not ask again.
In fact, if you can ask a few more questions at that time, talk about the topic in more detail and more specific, such as asking the child if he has any conflicts with classmates at school, who he is going home with after school, etc., maybe the child will reveal more information.
It can be seen that even if school bullying is hidden deeply, there are traces to follow. The key depends on whether we, as parents, observe and communicate attentively.
So what if we find out that the child is really being bullied?
There is a mom on the Internet who gives a textbook demonstration.
Once, the child's mother found that her daughter's back had been pierced with a pencil. With a gentle touch of his hand, the child cried in pain.
When asked, I realized that it was a boy in the back row who pierced it with a pencil.
The child's mother immediately contacted the boy's parents, who verbally apologized and said that they would let the child pay attention.
As a result, the next day, her daughter's clothes were cut with a knife by the boy.
When the teacher found out about this, he immediately found the parents. But the boy's parents looked unimpressed and said:
"Isn't it just that the clothes are torn? I will compensate you. ”
Until this time, the girl's mother still wanted to calm the people, so she quoted the price of the clothes, and did not delve into it.
Unexpectedly, the boy was still unrepentant, took the ink to stain the girl's clothes black, and said unashamedly: "You can go home and let your mother wash it!" ”
When the girl's mother heard this, she knew that blindly giving in would never solve the matter, so she consulted a professional lawyer overnight.
At the suggestion of the lawyer, the girl's mother did the following three things:
The first is to sort out the previous communication records and evidence of the parents of both sides.
The second is to reach an agreement with the school to resolutely oppose school violence.
The third is to find two classmates who are willing to testify, and then call the police.
Soon, the police arrived and called the students, parents, teachers, and even the principal.
At this time, the girl's mother produced prepared evidence, scolded the boy for bullying his daughter, and demanded that the child must be reviewed in class.
The school was also resolute, not only seriously criticizing the boys and parents, but also telling them to take the children home for three days to reflect.
Where had the boy and his mother seen this fight, and under the intense pressure, the bear child was so frightened that he never touched the girl again.
You see, parents are the strongest support for children. If parents compromise in everything and always want to calm others, the bully will be unscrupulous, and the bullying will never stop.
Only by collecting evidence in a timely manner, obtaining the support of the school, directly reporting to the police, and using the weapon of the law to protect their rights is a wise move.
Finally, Mother Mi wants to say: School bullying seems far away, but it is actually all around us. Don't let children be wronged alone in hidden corners, we should be their strongest support, so that they can be treated gently by the world and grow up healthily.
Personal profile: @米粒妈爱分享 rice grain mother, American returnee, Haidian parent. Focus on learning dry goods, educational experience and further education.