The first thing that Xueba and Xue Jia came home from school was too telling

If you want your child to become a top student, you can't just work hard from the child, but also pay attention to the impact of the family environment on the child, and create a relaxed, stable and low-stimulation family atmosphere for the child.

Author | First peach

In a few months, my son was about to become younger, and I inexplicably began to be anxious.

Rumor has it that the early childhood transition is the first challenge for parents.

That's true!

My son, who is currently in kindergarten, doesn't have any homework, and the first thing he does when he comes home from school is either holding a bunch of snacks or watching his favorite cartoons on TV.

But after entering elementary school, I began to have homework, and I couldn't use my after-school time as I wanted.

Some education experts have said:

"The essence of the connection between young and young is the cultivation of learning habits from zero to one."

So this first stop, I have to play well.

So I started looking for medicine, hoping to find a secret recipe for my children to write their homework as soon as they came home from school.

A few days ago, I accidentally brushed a point shared by Tsinghua student Deng Zixian: the biggest difference between Xueba and Xuejian is that after Xueba's child goes home, parents often create a low-desire, low-stimulation environment for him.

To put it simply, after Xueba returns home, what awaits him is never snacks or electronic products, but a peaceful environment that can quickly enter the learning state; The environment after the scumbags return home is just the opposite.

It seems that the first thing a child does after coming home from school is an important factor that determines whether he is a top student or a scumbag!

I can't help but think of the situation of my cousin's son.

Not to mention the mediocre grades, the key is that the slightest study habit has not been developed.

Distracted in class, grinding in homework, losing temper when you can't do the topic...

My cousin didn't stop complaining to me about these bad problems.

But now that I think about it, I understand why Eggman has become an out-and-out "scumbag".

I remember once going to see my cousin, just in time for Eggman to come back from school.

As soon as you enter the door, the coffee table is already full of all kinds of snacks that eggs like: spicy strips, candy, potato chips...

"The meal is not so fast, and you can't starve the child." My cousin said.

Not only snacks, but also the TV was turned on early, and the iPad was casually placed on the sofa by my cousin.

"After a day of school, my child can watch TV and play with the iPad to relax." My cousin explained to me while looking down to cook.

Finally finished eating, Eggman was still lying on the sofa playing with the iPad.

His cousin urged him three times and four times, and he sat down at his desk with great reluctance.

But before he could write a few words, he began to study pencils and erasers again.

My cousin sighed vigorously.

In fact, the situation of eggs is not uncommon.

Many children come home from school with a table full of snacks, TV shows or mobile games.

Originally, I didn't want to be hungry and tired my children, but parents inadvertently created a high-stimulation and high-desire environment.

This is also the real culprit of children's reluctance to write homework after returning home.

First, excessive use of electronics can drain the brain and make it dull.

Brain studies have shown that people are very focused when using electronic products.

In other words, if children keep playing with mobile phones and watching TV as soon as they come home from school, their brain power will be consumed a lot.

When it's time to write his homework, it's easy to get listless and slow to study.

Second, too many snacks can make children lose the ability to delay gratification.

American psychologist Walter Michelle once did a delayed gratification experiment.

In this experiment, he found that children with strong ability to delay gratification were more likely to succeed in school and work later because they had enough patience to wait for a result.

The easy availability of snacks will make the child gradually lose the ability to delay gratification.

Extended to learning, these children also lose patience with learning.

Naturally, they cannot exchange their accumulated efforts for a good grade.

The situation of the girlfriend's daughter Nuo Nuo and Eggman is the opposite.

Nuo Nuo is also a third-grade girl, not only has excellent grades, but is also the class leader and study committee.

In the words of my best friend: "I have never worried about my daughter's studies. ”

In order to "steal the art of learning", I deliberately went to my girlfriend's house at dinner.

After only one visit, I learned the "secret".

When I entered the door that day, Nuo Nuo was on the sofa concentrating on reading extracurricular books, and when he was hungry, he picked up a box of yogurt to drink.

And the girlfriends who stir-fry will also take advantage of their spare time to communicate with their children about the situation at school.

After dinner, Nuo Nuo obediently went into the room to write his homework.

When I was chatting with my girlfriend in the living room, she made a point of signaling me to speak quietly.

I didn't see my girlfriend pull out her phone or iPad all night, and their TV wasn't turned on.

Ye Shengtao once said:

"What is education, to put it simply, there is only one sentence, that is, to develop good habits."

The formation of good habits is inseparable from a low-desire, low-stimulation environment.

Child development psychology believes that children between the ages of 6 and 12 have the weakest self-control and the most difficult to resist all kinds of temptations.

Therefore, during this stage, parents should try to create a less tempting environment for their children.

The less tempting there are snacks, games, TV shows, etc. when your child comes home from school, the more the child can focus on his studies.

In the field of applied social psychology, there is a very special category called "environmental psychology", which mainly studies environmental factors, such as noise, air, photoelectricity, etc.

One of the results is this: low-stimulation environments such as tranquility and tranquility are more conducive to people's mental health.

That is to say, if the child comes home from school, the home is quiet, there is no TV, mobile phone and other photoelectric influences, then the child's heart will be more peaceful.

When the state of mind is calm, the child's thinking is clearer and he can enter the learning state faster.

Many parents will have this doubt: children come home after a day of study, must they relax? If you're hungry, you have to eat something to replenish your strength, right?

So how to eat? And how can I really relax?

I have summarized two "nos" and three "wants" and shared them with you:

(1) Do not prepare irritating snacks

If parents are worried that their children are hungry, they can prepare some foods that do not stimulate their taste buds, such as fruits or dairy products.

Try to prepare less irritating snacks such as spicy strips, potato chips, and candy.

In order for children to enter a good learning state faster, the diet should be as light, simple and nutritious as possible.

(2) Do not use electronic products

After school, parents should not let their children relax by scrolling through short videos or watching TV.

Because watching TV or scrolling videos actually requires a lot of attention.

So that when it's time to study, the brain is tired.

In addition, parents should also try to avoid playing with mobile phones and watching TV in front of their children.

It is said that "leading by example" is the best education.

If parents want their children to develop good habits of learning, then parents themselves need to do their best.

(3) Guide the child to output

After the child comes home, parents can ask the child what he has learned today through small talk.

You can also pretend not to understand and let your child explain some knowledge points to himself.

Guiding children's output can allow children to slowly enter the state of learning.

I remember meeting a mother and son on the road.

Child carrying a school bag and walking with his mother on the road.

Mom asked, "What did you learn today?" Did the teacher understand all the lessons? Can I tell my mom about it? ”

The child talked endlessly, reviewing what he had learned by the way.

Children who have entered a state of learning do not have to worry about his unwillingness to write homework when he arrives home.

(4) Exercise children's concentration

When younger children return home, they may not be able to develop the habit of writing homework right away at first.

At this time, parents can focus on exercising their children's concentration, such as playing with blocks, drawing, puzzles, etc.

Through these activities, your child's attention can be slowly focused and ready for the rest of the homework time.

I remember that when my girlfriend's daughter Nuo Nuo first entered elementary school, every day when she came home from school, her girlfriend would first accompany Nuo Nuo to play puzzles.

The mother and daughter worked together to complete a 1,000-piece puzzle.

The puzzle is completed, and Nuo's concentration has improved a lot.

Slowly, she can read a book or write her homework as soon as she gets home.

(5) Accompany children to exercise

The "Human Brain Project" initiated by the National Institutes of Health and led by Harvard University, Yale University, University of California, and Cornell University has found in research:

Insistence on exercise can significantly increase the number of brain nerve fibers, dendrites, synapses, promote brain development, and improve memory.

Professor Li Meijin also said: "Those children who are particularly active in the playground generally study very well. ”

Image source: Web

Therefore, if the child feels tired when he goes home, parents can accompany them to run and play ball.

Exercise is a highly stimulating activity for the body, but low stimulation for the brain.

Proper exercise can not only help children decompress, but also allow children to regain energy and improve learning efficiency.

The mother of the talented girl Wu Yishu once said:

"Any excellent child is not a miracle born out of nowhere, but a cause and effect with traces."

Whether a child is a scumbag or a top student does not depend on the child's own intelligence, but on the quality of the environment that parents create for their children.

Children are not good or bad, but parents are responsible and irresponsible.

May we all create a peaceful environment to welcome our children home.