In early 1932, Lin Huiyin wrote a letter to Hu Shi, setting off a famous storm in the history of the Republic of China. In the letter, she wrote angrily: "I am straightforward, impatient, I hate people's miserliness and twisted lies... I didn't know her before, had no feelings for her, no reason, and didn't look down on her. Later, because she was married to Tongbo (Chen Xiying), so there were works such as "Sending a Car", and I thought that maybe my dog looked down on people and began to greet her with great humility and sincerity. I never thought she was such a person! It's really chilling. "Let Lin Huiyin vomit blood is another Republic of China talented daughter Ling Shuhua, is also Xu Zhimo's confidant, at this time Xu Zhimo died just over two months, Lin Huiyin asked Ling Shuhua for two copies of the "Kangqiao Diary" Xu Zhimo wrote, but Ling Shuhua repeatedly refused to show her. In both diaries, Xu Zhimo wrote about his past with Kangqiao, including his acquaintance with Lin Huiyin and his strong love for her. This is the biggest reason why Lin Huiyin wants to retrieve the diary. How much does Xu Zhimo love Lin Huiyin? In 1920, Xu Zhimo was transferred to England to study. One day, he visited Lin Changmin's apartment and met Lin Huiyin, a poet who was 16 years old at the time, and he was 23 years old. From then on, his eyes were deeply drawn to this beautiful girl. Kangqiao's love happened. Xu Zhimo's love is warm and persistent. He wrote many passionate love poems for Lin Huiyin, which touched her heartstrings. Lin Huiyin was touched by his innocent, romantic and sincere heart. If all love could happen at the right time, there would be fewer regrets in the world. Although their souls agree and love each other, Xu Zhimo is married and his wife, Zhang Youyi, is pregnant with a second child. Lin Huiyin's original statement was "I am not the kind of woman who abuses feelings." If you really love me, you can't give me an awkward position. You have to choose between me and Zhang Youyi. You can't be irresponsible to both women. When Xu Zhimo couldn't wait to divorce his wife, perhaps because of the nothingness and realistic moral considerations brought about by love, Lin Huiyin quickly changed his mind and did not want to interfere in Xu Zhimo's marriage. She chose not to quit and hurried home. In a later letter to Hu Shi (the letter mentioned at the beginning of the article), she wrote: "My education is old, and I cannot change any new people. I just have to be worthy of those people – parents, husband (someone who loves me very much and treats me well), sons, family, etc. It can be seen that she is under heavy worldly pressure in her heart, and reason has made her choose a path that is more in line with her identity. In 1922, Xu Zhimo returned from studying in England, and the poetry of Cambridge scholars soon spread in Beiping. He is divorced, but Lin Huiyin is already with Mr. Liang with the help of his family. Two years later, they went to the United States to study. In 1924, during Tagore's visit to China, he worked with Lin Huiyin as an interpreter, so he left behind a famous photograph of historical significance. The beautiful flower-like Lin Huiyin and Xu Zhimo, dressed in white robes and thin on the cold island, stood around the old poet. After understanding the delicate feelings between them, the old poet sighed: "The blue of the sky fell in love with the green of the earth, and the breeze between them sighed: "Alas! Even the old poet knew that there was an insurmountable distance between them. Although Xu Zhimo was disappointed and sad, he still pursued his own "love, freedom, and beauty", "At that time, there were two celebrities in The social circle of Beiping, one was Ling Shuhua and the other was Lu Xiaoman, and he was passionate about it. Xu Zhimo wandered between them for a while, and finally chose Lu Xiaoman, who had a variety of styles. They are far apart. Soon after the marriage, Xu Zhimo wrote the famous "Chance", and anyone can see the beautiful feelings of missing the past. Here's what Lin Huiyin wrote: I'm a cloud in the sky, occasionally projected on your wavy heart—you needn't be surprised, let alone happy—and disappear in an instant. After Lin Huiyin, who was far away in the United States, learned of Xu Zhimo's marriage, he wrote a small poem "Wish" and sent it to Xu Zhimo: Forget that there was this world, have you, mourn who once had love, fall like a flower, forget to go to the emotions in these tears. In the past few years, when she rejected Xu Zhimo, she still loved him in her heart. So when she learned that Hu Shi had gone to the United States, she couldn't wait to write him a "tangy letter" (Lin Huiyin), "I want to see you, I want to hear the voice and news of Beijing, which I am obsessed with." Don't you think it's too much? The news she wanted to know about Beijing was about Xu Zhimo. As a good friend of Xu Zhimo, Hu Shi agreed to Lin Huiyin's request as soon as he received her letter, went to Philadelphia to give a speech and met with her. After meeting Hu Shi, she wrote him a letter, "Please tell Shima that in the past three years, I have had enough of being lonely, and I have encountered many disappointments. Now I can masturbate and be content. Satisfy yourself in loneliness and disappointment. Tell him I don't blame him, I just hope he can forgive me for my previous ignorance. Misunderstandings were inevitable and he should forgive me. I read his old letters one after the other yesterday. I understand now, I really know the old Shima. But I don't have to mention the past now. I just want to remember it forever. At this time, lin Huiyin was accompanied by her husband Mr. Liang day and night, why did she feel lonely and disappointed, and askEd Xu Zhimo to forgive her? It's a thought. I don't understand if he was in deep love at the time. She didn't have the courage of Lu Xiaoman. She cannot be afraid of the mortal world, nor can she devote herself to the turbulent love of life. It is a torture to revisit the past, and too many regrets have not been realized. Did Lin Huiyin ever love Xu Zhimo? When Xu Zhimo died in 1931, he traveled frequently between Pinghu and Shanghai. After marriage, Lu Xiaoman lived in Shanghai. In order to satisfy her wayward and luxurious life, Xu Zhimo not only taught in Shanghai and wrote poetry to earn money, but also went to Peking University to teach at the invitation of Hu Shi. On the afternoon of November 19, Lin Huiyin gave a speech on architecture, and Xu Zhimo promised her to be her audience. At that time, Xu Zhimo had only been away from Beiping for five or six days. In order to participate in Lin Huiyin's speech, he flew back to Beiping early in the morning, and at 3 p.m., Lin Huiyin's husband greeted him at the airport. He didn't show up until 4:30. Lin Huiyin was upset in the lecture hall until the next day when he learned of the plane crash. In this year, they had known each other for a full decade. In addition to grief, she also wrote the famous "Mourning Shima", mourning the cruelty of fate. Her words were full of sadness. Four years later, she wrote another eulogy, and her thoughts still flowed between the lines. From these two articles, we know that of the four women in Xu Zhimo's life (Ling Shuhua, Zhang Youyi, Lu Xiaoman), Lin Huiyin is the most aware of his romantic temperament and naïve personality. Shortly after Xu Zhimo's death, Ling Shuhua decided to write him a biography. Lin Huiyin learned that she had two Kangqiao diaries in her hand and hoped that there would be content related to her in the diaries, so she wanted to borrow one. But Ling Shuhua only gave her a half of the diary, "I didn't expect that she wouldn't give it to me, let alone receive half of it in the future, and this half of the diary happened to be broken a day or two before I was about to meet me." Lin Huiyin wrote angrily. No one knows what the shredded parts were written. The reason why Lin Huiyin desperately wanted diaries was because in her opinion, those diaries were not very good, and the people mentioned in them were still alive. The publication of these diaries would have a negative impact on Xu Zhimo and offend people. Of course, the last thing she wants people to know is a book about her past with Xu Zhimo. Hu Shi had the habit of keeping all his letters, which gave us a lot of understanding the private affairs of many celebrities in the Republic of China today. This is also the reason why Lin Huiyin's letter can be disclosed. Hu Shi's relationship with Xu Zhimo is extraordinary, which makes him particularly fond of Lin Huiyin, which is called Aiwu and Wu. The day after he received Lin Huiyin's letter, Hu Shi wrote to Ling Shuhua asking her to hand in the Kangqiao Diary. Under the pressure of the circle of friends, Ling Shuhua had to give the diary to Hu Shi, who then gave the diary to Lin Huiyin. She told Hu Shi that in order to fulfill her wishes, she very much wanted to read the diary and lose love (don't underestimate the curiosity of women, no one can avoid vulgarity) in honor of his old friend. But if there is no love for him in the heart or no ripples in the heart, why be so obsessed with the diary. "I miss him very much these days, but if he's still alive, I'm afraid I still can't change how I treat him. In fact, this is not possible. Maybe that's why I don't love him enough, and it proves that I love my current home more than anything else. Lin Huiyin expressed his thoughts for the first time in a letter to Hu Shi, which can be said to be a clear response to this concern. After Lin Huiyin married Mr. Liang, the two had a stable relationship and devoted themselves to the common construction cause, and achieved real happiness. As the daughter of a famous poet and the mother of a pair of children, their past feelings have sunk with the stable silence of today's world, and she knows her responsibility and cherishes this perfect life. Whether she loved deeply or not, she had been flustered, throbbing, and sad for that person. Lin Huiyin has always been the cinnabar mole in Xu Zhimo's heart, and Xu Zhimo is the tenderness that Lin Huiyin hides deep in his heart!
